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Good? Bad? But Controlled
Citation:   Luke Collyer (England). "Good? Bad? But Controlled: An Experience with LSD (exp502)". Sep 13, 2000.

  oral LSD (blotter / tab)
This was one fo my first experiences with the drug and by far one of my fondest, if only for the variation in moods and thoughts and how I was able to cope.

The incident happened in 1993 at a MegaDog gig in London. Similar to a rave but more trancy tribal music and with better visuals.

We (my friend and his girlfriend) had purchased our tickets the day prior to the gig and had spent the rest of the time what gear to take and use. George (as he shall be called) had already gone to Amsterdam and obtained a thousand 'groucho marx' (rectangular tabs) and was hiding them from his mum in his computer.

A few hours before entrance we had gone to a couple of pubs and had some alchohol (I've never seen too much of a hazard of mixing small amounts of drink with other drugs) and managed to have ourselves a bit of a smoke. I had to smoke via a pipe coz I can't stand tobacco so I'm Mr Neat. George prefers Skunk so Skunk it was.

By the time we arrived at the que for the gig we were feeling mellow but happily nervous with anticipation. We didn't even take much heed to the intensity of the cold of the night (November).

After the obligatory hands-up-search-for-anything type affair at the door and then sorting coats and tickets out we all went off to check out the venue. We'd been there before but its always the thing to do. The music was already thumping from various rooms and there was the feeling of adrenalin in the air. The main arena was warming up with the likes of Astralasia with deep base sounds that reverberated around the walls and straight through you. That was good in itself.

Soon afterwards we met up again and decided that we would take just half of a trip for now. Because half was the size of a normal one I knew at some point I was going to come up pretty hard. One by one we filed off to the loos and dropped our gear.

I ALWAYS have a nauseous feeling when I swallow the tab. I think its due to the anticipated nausea that some of us get when coming up. So after swallowing I did the innevitable body shiver with a screwed up face and went to the bar to get some water.

The next forty five minutes or so we spent leaning against the wall nodding our heads to the music and occasionally taking swigs of water. We all do it! I think I was the last to come up and when that happens you automatically think you've got a dud. But low and behold I remember the first twinge of slight sickness. It made me shift my position and then I felt the warm sensation in my stomach. this made me breath in deep and I felt my cheeks redden. Loverly! The smile stretched across my face and I just let it take control.

It came in waves and eventually remained a constant. My weight was lifted and I felt light as a feather. Goose bumps flittered up and down my arms as I felt the steady thump of the base pulsating through my body. Ten minutes later and I couldn't resist the urge to dance and I was off! Eventually I was at the front of the crowd near the speakers and the stage where the djs were and loving it.

Every now and then I would come off for a breather. Sometimes I found George and his girlfriend sitting down with huge grins on their faces. We would exchange slow nods and smiles (all that's needed) and do our own thing. I remember that when I danced my arms and hands seemed to move in a slow motion with my eyes and head following their movement. It seemed much slower than the music was going but I seemed to be hitting the beat every time.

A couple of hours later and I was absolutely caned - I was sweating buckets and could hardly speak. I would walk through the crowds as if drifing or floating and the people would just melt out of the way. There were no sudden movements from me - well of course not, I could predict the entire movements of everyone in the building and new exactly when to turn or glide this way and that. I was dancing a routine through the crowd that had been pre-written for me - it was fantastic.

The first hallucination I had was when I entered one of the chill out bars. The very first thing I saw was the stone slabs that they used for the floor. Then I saw the some grungy people with green army coats in the corner and then a spilt drink to my right. It was dark here and quite crowded. In that split second my brain had already made up its mind on where it thought it was. Quickly the bar melted and revealed the dungeon that I was really in. I moved slowly through looking at the dripping water and the rats that scurried out of my way. Prisoners of some other era lay dormant in their green macs in the corners. The stone walls had green alghi and other damp patches everywhere. I had to shake my head before the bar materiallised. 'For gods sake' I reminded myself, 'its a fucking bar'. As I ordered another bottle of water the images kept repeating. I didn't panic though - it was interesting and I remember thinking how it could happen that anyone could possibly get from a bar to a dungeon cell.

Later I bumped into another friend who was smoking some skunk as he always did. He seemed able to talk fine and was asking me various polite questions. Unfortunately, with every word he spoke I was thinking of a thousand answers and when I eventually opened my mouth to speak, a million words tried to form but ended up in alot of giberish and a few audible 'erms' and 'ums'. This worried me a little as I was becoming increasingly aware that he could tell I was off my rocker. I had to control the panic welming inside. Was he looking at me strangely? Was he giving subtle hand signals to others to suggest I was stupid? Was the group over there giggling at what I was doing, or wearing - or NOT wearing? I looked down to check if I my trousers had disappeared. Again, I had to shake my head. No-one was taking the piss out of me so calm down!

I met with George who asked if I wanted to up to the balcony to calm down. I nodded and followed like a zombie. I passed a couple of people collecting for children in need who collered me for money - I think I gave them a fiver - they knew I was totalled and slapped a sticker on my chest. I remember they made it cover the face of mona lisa I had printed with fractals and a spliff. They thought it was funny. I just wanted to get away from their voices that were changing pitch from high to low and back again.

Upstairs everyone was lying or sitting down. I had to pick my way through all the bodies and sit down. We sat for a while and I was able to cool down a bit. Someone tapped me twice on the shoulder. I looked round but noone was even near me. I freaked! I wasn't bolloxed enough that I couldn't mistake that tap. And I sure as hell knew that no-one was near me. 'What's up?' George asked. '' I replied in good effort and then pointed to my sticker on my chest. It had gone! Oh my god, had the mysterious tapper pinched it or had I imagined those people downstairs? I hadn't imagined the fiver that was for sure. Panic was on its way back again.

I got up and decided to go back for a dance - yeh dancing would get my head back to noddy land. within a few minutes I was leaping around madly fallowing the green and red fractal designs that my hands were making whilst courting with the flashing lights.

Now, George had warned me previously about some type of Ether that companies were putting into their smoke machine during these times. He'd said it was like Amyl Nitrite in that it brought everyone up in seconds without them knowing and then they'd have a really ace time and tell all their friends about the gig - thus more gigs. He also said that it had a habit of multiplying the effects of any substances that you were on by about four times. Looking back I think it was some urban rumours that were going around - but I still think about it. Anyway, I remember at one point (when Eat Static were playing) at a crux of a tune the smoke machine let out loads and ingulfed everyone. In the next few seconds I watched as if not part of my body, as EVERYONE became one moving body. Their eyes all widened and searching forwards. it was like a huge wave of bodies all under one control. Then, all of a sudden I felt my left upper leg lock in intense cramp. I dropped like a sack of spuds and then really panicked. No-one had even noticed I was writhing in agony! If anything, they all seemed to just dance on me. I picked a direction and crawled through the feet of the possessed crowd until I came to a door. Stumbling through I was in a corridor and managed to slump myself down on a chair.

Whilst massaging my leg I remember that my leg was starting to fade in green and red fractals and the floor was alive with sparks of these patterns. All I could think was 'oh for gods sake not now' I didn't panic then and was more pissed of that I couldn't benefit the picture because of the cramp. A girl materialised with a glass of water-'...just as you asked-' I smiled and wondered when I had asked her.

The pain subsided and I calmed down and I sat back and watched the patterns for a while. Green and red sparkes were shooting across the floor and all over my hands. The walls were pulsating and shifting colours and the music was altering its pitch chaotically. Sitting there I could at last appreciate it for what it was and desperately wanted to work out how it happens. At that point George came through the door with his girlfriend and they didn't look to pleased. They asked it I'd noticed the change on the dance floor and George kept on saying about the Ether. We all agreed to go outside into a square that was part of the building's grounds. Here we were able to cool down. I didn't bother speaking but just listend to the whispers of other conversations all around me. The sound was like the noise of the sea genlty rolling on a shingle beach.

Soon we decided to leave. I had to be led as I could no longer steer myself in the mathematical fashion I had done before. I remember walking onto the street and seeing the cars. The tracers that the cars left behind made it seem as if they were moving at high speed. Watching them it seemed like they were moving at one mile and hour. The noise was jingle jangle of squeaks and mumbles. Getting a cab was the funniest part as neither of us was in any decent enough position to speak properly and we had to enter an office to order it. It seemed like it took twenty minutes to get the words out and then we were in the car-I was sitting in the front.

In London the all night cabs are driven by dodgy people with their own cars. It suddenly dawned on me that we could be taken advantage of here. None of us would be able to put up a struggle. I didn't even know where the hell I was let alone put my fists up. My door was opened and a man started shouting. This was it, I thought. We're gonna get mugged and I'm supposed to be the tougher one. I started laughing. As it turned out the guy thought our driver was taking his fare. A few seconds later and we were off. We stopped under a bridge briefly so that I could be sick out of the car. George was putting it down to the effects of the Ether - again.

When we got back I got the cramps again and George's girlfriend got me some salt/sugared water which worked a treat (strongly suggest it for dehydration) and I lay there quietly tripping and slowly coming down.

With no sleep, I was up and had left by six thirty in the morning. I had to travel the underground to Victoria and then down to Brighton (about sixty miles) to work. Needless to say I was completey plastered and still a little bit tripping. My boss was not amused.

That's it. It was, looking back on it a great time and well worth it. For since then I have been able to work out my own personal dosage and have developed a good understanding of hallucinations and what to expect. If ever I take trips now its usually about a quater of a tab at a time.

One good thing about trips is the ability for hand-eye co-ordination. I have learnt some of my best tricks whilst tripping.

Thanks for reading this (if you did)

Exp Year: 1993ExpID: 502
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 13, 2000Views: 4,395
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LSD (2) : Club / Bar (25), General (1)

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