DOSE:

100 mg

insufflated

Ketamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

54 kg

Set and setting:
It's a nice mellow friday evening, nothing going on besides the usual friday parties. A perfect time to take a trip with some Special K, aka Ketamine.

Let's make sure we have the basic 2 trip rules covered:
Set and Setting.


Mission for the evening trip:

Set = travel and experience.
Setting = Nice and mellow, comfortable and safe.

We are 3 people. First of, we select a play list for a couple hours of play. Some mellow ambient, Alpha Wave movement and a couple other albums.

We get 100 mgs each on a CD cover, cut in 2 lines, ie, about 50mgs each line. We pick our respective positions, 2 on the matress and I on a big and extremely comfortable chair.
First snort.
A minute or so after the snort, we all feel the liquid K going down the throat. The body starts being felt in a different way than usual. We are still communicating, still quite 'there'. 15 mns later, we decide to go for the second line.
Second snort.
I lay back and experience. For me, the experience isnt very visual. It seems as if it is mostly a nice and relaxed feeling, of sitting back with extremely soothing and mellow music playing. The usual things I associate with psychedelics came in the mind, the thoughts and ponders. I sit and make an effort not to attach any form of meaning or actual attention to the passing thoughts. I know I cant make sense out of those thoughts, or rather that they are just thoughts, not any more or less important than the usual thoughts, just the mind going through its mechanisms of thought fabrication. I see the passing thoughts as a hindrance being a barrier between a full experience of the moment and the ego trying to analyze the moment. Of course, I am also aware that this making a choice over what to do with those passing thoughts is also a part of my ego, yet, I go for it. I choose not to let myself be bothered by my own irelevant thoughts. I let the thoughts be as the dead mechanism they are, I watch them pass as if there was some other place to get past the words and the spaces the words create. Letting go of the words, I get to that place, and the place is experience itself.

I know that the 'after' trip thoughts will be enough words put onto the experience itself.
The music feels nice, the body feels nice and relaxed, at least as far as I feel connected to that body.
The 2 others in the room are also tripping. My partner on the matress goes through a moment of anxiety. I see that he is in good company, next to his caring friend, so I decide not to move from my chair. I feel as if focusing on the moment of anxiety would only deepen that passing anxious moment. Also,to get close to him, I would have had to make wide movements, which seemed at the time as unescessary. I knew my partner was in good loving hands, so I watched from my chair, and waited for the anxious moment to pass, not focusing on it, yet paying attention to the safety of the one going through a not so smooth moment.

The moment passed, and the trip went on normally. My partner and I decided to stop after second line, and our friend decided to go for 1 more, then one last. As my partner and I slowly landed back to ground zero, our friend went to lay in the back room, and went through his trip, occasionally moaning, laughing, calling us and laughing some more. This reminded me of the Cosmic giggle, the giggle overcoming everything, as if facing the absurdities we sometimes call truth, the giggle looking at the self and just Laughing.. Because we can and its beautiful.

Our friend landed, we all hugged, thanked each other for a great time, waited a bit and went on with evening food, a great rice chicken in coconut milk plate.

K, psychedelic or not?

A couple days after the trip I wonder if I consider K to be a psychedelic or not. I think that the effects during the trip are of a psychedelic type, ie, that the self experiences reality in a way not similar to the commonly agreed upon every day reality. But the after effect feeling was not what I would call a classical psychedelic experience after effect. The feeling I get after a psychedelic trip is one of purification, as if I had swept some cobwebs from the corners of my mind, as if I had cleaned myself up and from this reorganizing my new self, I had rebooted my spiritual side. K did not do this to me. After the trip, I felt as if I took a trip in my mind, as if I had watched an intense movie, but nothing more.

This trip reinforced an idea I have been formulating in my mind about psychedelics. That is, that a trip isnt as much about the chemical being ingested, than it is about spaces we go to in our mind. The spaces are there to go into, and I am starting to believe that it is not the chemicals which sends us there, but rather a combination of how we choose to use the chemicals and where each person is at along their own personal development. After this k trip, as well as a bit during the trip, I wandered if I'd feel any diferent if I was on another psychedelic. The answer was that no. I would not feel any diferent if I was on a diferent psychedelic drug. Perhaps the body feeling might be slightly diferent, yet it seems to me that during a full trip, no matter of the chemical aid being used, the body is 'psychedelized', the body is transcended and only becomes the carrier for this other thing which takes over.

What is this other thing taking over? I do not know. Most likely the body is not being 'taken over', most likely it is just shifting from one perception to another one. Like changing glasses, like just moving one inch over, in order to see a scene from a diferent angle. The scene remains the same, only the perspective changes, from altering the point of view from which we stand. Perhaps it is the body becoming one with the mind, with the heart and all the things which create this thing called the 'I', a type of diferent unification from the one usually experienced. I do not think that it is a 'higher' me, or a 'better' me, or a 'more centered' me.

It is just a different me, from a different angle. Diferent does not mean more, better, less or worth, it just means diferent. The 'truth' experienced on psychedelics is not any more or less valid than the one experienced while not on psychedelics, they are just different glasses, different reality tunnels as RAW would call those sets of 'reality'. 'I', becomes a different version of the 'I', a new configuration which does not anymore differentiate the material flesh body from the other functions contained in it, such as the mind, and what the mind creates.

Psychedelic maps or reality tunnels?

During the trip, I mentioned this as best I could for the moment to the 2 other people in the room. They both asked if I had been to the K-hole. I asked what exactly was the k-hole. 'if you had been there, youd know'. The answer still didnt point out to anything specific, just a name, the k-hole. I have to wander whether this k-hole actually does exist as a space, or if it more along the lines of familiar words people put onto their experiences, a word more pointing to an abstraction than an actual space. Being on ketamine, we are supposed to reach this k mythological space.

I did not go to the k hole. Neither on this last trip, or on previous k trips. I do not even know what is meant by the k-hole. If the words k-hole does point to something concrete in some people's mind, fine with me. I do not question their feeling they experience such a thing, I am only sharing the way I myself experience things, using a language which I feel familiar with. If I accept the k-hole metaphor of some, should those others also not accept the way I describe my own non k-hole experience?

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 51015
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 25, 2018	Views: 881
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Ketamine (31) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)