DOSE: T+ 0:00			Caffeine
T+ 1:02	100 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:06	100 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)
T+ 2:42		oral	Caffeine	(liquid)
T+ 2:48	50 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)
T+ 3:01	50 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

7:00 pm. Consuming caffeine in order to beat out the sedative effects of the pills. Also waiting eagerly for pizza in order to have a steady stomach (or something to throw up in case something goes wrong). Personal note: I am terribly nervous. One week ago I tripped out on 5 tabs of benadryl, but I couldn’t make it past the depressive/lassitude stage. The next day I remarked to a friend on my weekend activities. He promptly responded that I had done intense damage to my liver, in all likelihood. Terrified, I rushed to do more research, a mistake that I had not prepared better beforehand. I found that I had not injested that much. More confident tonight, I intend to ingest eight tablets of benadryl (that is, 200 mg), after, of course, a great deal of caffeine and some pizza. My nervousness derives from the threat of overdose, which, admittedly, is relatively unlikely at this stage, as demonstrated through my research.

7:28 pm. Pizza’s here. My stomach’s growling - one tab of antacid will help that out. The lady’s in Florida, and just called, which means there’s nothing holding me back tonight from a good, old-fashioned trip. In other words, I am cleared for takeoff.

7:36 pm. Eating, preparing a playlist. The Silence Xperiment’s mashup album from Coldplay’s X and Y, along with m83, one nmh song, two crystal method tracks, some ray charles, queen, and a ton of U2- all things to make me smile whilst trekking into unknown territory.

7:48 pm. Haven’t even started yet and my eyes are heavy and watering. I think I’m sick.

8:02 pm. Now or never. Taking pills was never my strong suit. Stomach’s reacting in a very negative manner. Deep breaths. Space it out- down the hatch!

8:04 pm. Stomach settled. Four left.

8:06 pm. And we’re done- 8 down the hatch, and locked in for the night. I’m going to pee, take a bath, and brush my teeth while I can. Be back asap.

8:36 pm. Faintly loopy. A jarring feeling that I’ve been carrying for the past two weeks since I quit taking my anti-depressants - reminiscent of being scared, but time wise, takes place only in a flash and then is gone. Mother and sister left to attend a bat mitzvah. The movie The Punisher’s on in the other room. It’s cold. Think I might get a blanket and swaddle myself within its warm enfolds. A gradual confidence mentally, my nervousness is abating as more time passes. I’m carrying a small but abiding feeling of euphoria. Body is reacting positively to the music, making me gyrate in wildly embarrassing ways. Must be the music, all I should be getting now are threshold effects. Small headache forming around left hand temple.

8:42 pm. Eyes watering and heavy. Might be the computer. Queen’s Headlong is sounding more and more sinister, for some reason: “and there’s nothing you can/nothing you can/nothing you can do about it..”

8:45 pm. Feel like playing some Counterstrike.

9:15 pm. Good game of Counterstrike. An almost bodhisattva-esque calm has come over me. The music seems to be coming from another place, nearby but farther away than where my speakers are. Had bouts of diarrhea twenty minutes ago, but otherwise, everything’s groovy. Finger are having trouble typing, though, and I keep second-guessing my spelling.. hrm.. in retrospect, I am deeply tempted to ramp up, as it were. Two more tabs will take me to 250 mg. I will wait fifteen minutes and then do so.

9:26 pm. A feeling of giddy anticipation. My joints ache. This is a peculiar juxtaposition.

9:42 pm. Esthero is seeping out of my speakers and into my ears. Eyelids growing heavy. Drinking lots of soda. Things fall in and out of focus. A very stoned feeling, find myself staring at blinking lights or lustrous metals. Time to ramp up. Fighting to stay awake. Plagued by stoned indecision. Should I take more? Stumbling.

9:48 pm. Took an additional 50 mg. Walking was strange, difficult, but fluid. Everything is now carrying an almost glowing sense of color. A feeling of vividness and perfection in sensory input, coupled with a fear that soon I will pass out.

9:53 pm. By squeezing my eyelids tightly shut, I could see a perfect reflection of my pupils, each small, jagged line of slate gray pushed into my darkened view. Pinching the bridge of my nose. It’s to stay awake. I swear I can hear my mom yelling through the music, even though I just asked her if she did, and she answered in the negative.

10:14 pm. Definitely high. Motion in front of me and at my peripherals. A gradual, small sense of euphoria. Almost like being high on pot.

10:24 pm. First distortion of reality. Looks as if one of my posters is slowly drifting to the right - even though it has thumbtacks holding it up.

10:57 pm. Nothing but drowsiness and an extraordinary awareness to movement. Going to take two more, making my dosage 300 mg. After this, I’m done. too dangerous to continue ramping up like this.

11:01 pm. Up to 300 mgs. My final dosage. Walking has become easier. I am hypersensitive to movement and slowly drifting in and out of a dreamy, absinthe-like high. Becoming very forgetful, to the point of absurdity (ignoring painful postures because I’m too slow to pick up on the pain).

11:08 pm. Man has the ability to demolish the planet he lives on. Man has the ability to feed and clothe himself, and thus heal himself. Man has found ways to alter and explore the very fabric of reality- but immediately declared any such exploration illegal. Man’s fear is justified. How would he carry on if he knew the entire world he lived and breathed was simply an illusion? How would Man stand on two legs when he knew that his time would come too, that all are bound for a place beyond this Earth? How would Man simply at night?

11:11 pm. Answer: Benadryl. I’m slipping away now

Afternote/Summary. The next day, 12:07 pm. I managed to pass out at my computer. Woke up ten minutes later and stumbled upstairs, listening to music on my iPod. As I did, I noticed the posters on my bedroom walls began to drift to the left and right rhythmically. After I turned off my music, I heard a deafening rushing noise, identical to the sound a wave makes before crashing into shore. And then, I was gone. I woke up this morning with no hangover or stomach pains (much to my relief). If I wasn’t bound by my own code of conduct, I’d attempt a much higher dosage next weekend. 300 mgs is not enough to produce significant delirium. Overall, as an over the counter drug, benadryl is good for a minor high, but this same high could be reproduced easily (it seems to me) with some marijuana. I would prefer getting high with pot rather than benadryl.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 51210
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 2, 2009	Views: 21,156
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Diphenhydramine (109) : Personal Preparation (45), General (1), Alone (16)