Citation: New Recruit. "Initiation and Acceptance: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10X Extract) (exp51686)". Erowid.org. May 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/51686
In this report, Salvia is to be referred to as a she, and as a realm of existence that is just beyond the surface of reality. I will also attempt to describe the Salvia experience in terms that may or may not be universally true. Just as DMT has consistently similar qualities, events, and entities according to those who have smoked it, Salvia appears to me to have a similar set of characteristics.
I was first introduced to Salvia about 6 years ago. I smoked a small amount at that time, and it was a short, slightly insightful experience. I noticed a distinct web that existed between me and other people, and was aware of a sense of synchronicity between the edges of my reality and the reality of another person. In other words, I could see the direct connection between my hand, and the person's arm next to me. A 'If a butterfly flaps its wings...' situation. The ceiling above me disappeared, and my company resembled a long-lost family. Like that, the experience was over, and I had never had an inclination to try it again until last week.
I recieved 3 grams of 10x Salvia Standardized Extract, read a little about it, and prepared to try it again.
It took me 5 times before I was able to comfortably exist in the Salvia realm. I had to be 'invited', and I still don't know if she fully trusts me yet.
The first time, I sat down on the couch with K next to me, and N in the kitchen, expecting to chill and become moderately stoned. Boy was I wrong about that! A few seconds after I had taken the 2nd toke, I had completely forgotten what I had done, where I was, and what was going on. I became immediately enveloped in some sort of strange web-like space, a highly un-navigatable space that seemed volatile. I sensed some sort of excited entity *somewhere* that was aware of my sudden existence in the realm - surprised that I was there. There seemed to be a few other entities there somewhere, but I could not see them. I could only sense that they felt surprised that I had 'popped in' on something that was already going on. Focus was placed on the pipe and the smoldering ashes, and I realized that they had figured out that it was the pipe that brought me there.
This was startling. But the hardest part about it was the attention to the web-like connections between me and everything/everyone in my remote surroundings. I felt trapped, unable to move, for fear of, something. Reality seemed to become unzipped, like a zipper, and I was looking at the edges of the zipper. The edges were comprised of parts of physical reality - people, the shape of the room, etc. I got pretty scared and ran upstairs, not entirely sure what was going on.
I soon realized what had just happened, and laughed at myself for not being prepared. 5 minutes later and I was back to normal. This intrigued me - I was extremely scared of what had just happened, but was determined to try again.
I sat myself in the next room in complete darkness alone and lit up. Two tokes. Just like before, I shot into the Salvia web-space like a bolt of lightning. I witnessed the same sort of 'reality-web', and the same sort of 'pressure' to do something. The pressure seemed to want to move my arms or hands unwillingly - it wanted me to outstretch my palms, offering something. I saw direct connections between myself and other people, who's arms were outstretched, palms outward, connected directly to mine.
Together we created a circle, which was not to be broken. The scary part is that I realize that somewhere I have the capability to break this circle, and god knows what hell would break loose if I did! It was utter lack of control. I quickly
came back down, and put it away to try another night.
After doing some research and reading more trip reports, I had come to the conclusion that there was something more to be done there. I had read plenty of reports detailing brilliant close-eyed visuals, and things that seemed so much more comfortable than what I was experiencing. There were a few consistencies I had noticed, specifically the ideas of a 'zipper', and an 'edge' - both of which were very prevalent in my trips.
A couple days later I sat down and tried again. The first attempt wasn't very revealing, as I didn't feel that I smoked enough. I was, however, able to notice a direct connection between myself and two people conversing outside. My thoughts seemed to control the interaction between these two people, although I could not see them or understand the words they were saying. I was only aware of an unspeakable connection between them as I seemed to silently participate. This, while extremely cool, was reality-play that I have experienced before with other psychedelics, but I felt that there were more important things in the Salvia realm to attend to.
I tried again, this time lying down. This method didn't work so well. My previous sessions had been sitting up, hands together, mantis-style. While the act of praying was still jarring and uncomfortable, lying down just seemed downright lazy. I again became aware of the Reality-web - the uncontrollable pressurized shrinkwrapped jello-mold that seemed to want to shrink around me. Direct connections between me and a few other elements, such as my roommate downstairs, my bed, my door. All of this was perfectly symmetrical, 'two dimensional' as I described in other reports, and circular. The circular part is important. In the Salvia realm, I am part of the circle, and I am facing outwards, away from whatever seems to exist past the 'edge' of my reality, the stuff I was trying to see!
I still hadn't seen anything 'enjoyable' at this point. All I knew is that I was struggling with a bunch of interconnected physical fragments of my everyday reality. I knew there was something beyond it - something I was supposed to see. In this
session, I was aware of a female entity that was behind me. I could not look behind me though. I could only look forward at this terrible reality-web that I was forced to hold together. But this entity, this female, this woman, whose vague description I feel I must keep private, was right there behind me. Looking at me, testing me, back there smiling. But I could not turn around. Something was preventing me from seeing exactly what it was. I was too busy wrestling with this web-thing. I stopped and read some more for a few hours.
The 5th time I was finally 'allowed' to see her, but only briefly.
A few minutes before bed, I decided I would give it another whirl. I sat on the bed, legs crossed, said a little prayer, meditated a bit, and took a couple hits. Same damn thing started. I began to feel the 'pins and needles' that so many people have described. The 'pins and needles' is the feeling on my skin right at the connection between physical reality and the Salvia realm. They feel like that because it seems to have a rough edge. The feeling can get scary. There is a terrible fear that it will rip me to shreds if I make the wrong move.
Alright, so I had become aware of the interconnection between the physical realm and the Salvia realm, and juuuust comfortable enough that I could trust in taking a bigger step in trying to see what was deeper inside.
I felt her presence again, and I felt the way that she saw me. I felt that I had to present myself in a most perfect manner, in a way that would comply with her standards. I seemed to morph into various shapes and forms, many of which she was unsatisfied with. After a little while of this, I really felt like a failure. I felt somewhat embarassed, and I felt like I was being left out of a big secret, or a big party. I could literally feel the Salvia sunshine at my back, but I could not turn around and face it.
I remembered some reports of people feeling like they were peering down a long tunnel, and that immediately manifested in front of me. I had to crane my neck up and out in order to see it, and with tremendous yearning, wishing, hoping and praying, I looked down it. It was partially obscured from my vision, and I began to realize that it was timidly being opened up to me. Salvia was finally showing herself to me - if not modestly. As the light slowly showered over me, lightly gracing me with affection and love, I felt tremendous gratitude for what I was finally being shown. The space began to open up a bit more, and the chaotic Reality-web seemed to get a little bit further away. The pins and needles was a little milder as I was able to relax and bask for a few minutes in Salvia sunshine - a bright yellow, warm realm of existence. No sooner had it begun did it end - but this time I was joyous, and tremendously grateful for having gotten that far.
In the following, the word 'Reality' may be interchangable with 'Ego'.
Conclusion (take this as you will):
Salvia is shy. She's very choosy, and she doesn't like new visitors. You have to befriend her. She wants you in a very specific way, she commands respect, and she'll make your experience a living hell if she doesn't trust you.
There are two distinct sides: Reality, which will begin shrinking as one smokes the drug, and the Salvia realm. Since Reality is backed up directly to the Salvia realm, there is a distinct 'edge' between the two. Because smoking it produces the effects so rapidly, one is ultra-aware of this edge. It feels very 'edgy', for lack of a better metaphor. Pins and needles on the skin, a fear of being 'torn in two', a fear of disrupting something, and a fear of lack of control.
As the drug shoots into the system, I was propelled into the Salvia realm, and since she is so picky about who she lets in, it was difficult to feel comfortable. So instead of being able to communicate directly with Salvia (she's hiding), I am often left to wrestle with the ever-diminishing Reality that seems to shrink. Wrestling with this is terribly annoying, and quite scary.
But with a few tries and some sweet-talking, she let me turn around and say hi. She said 'let go, come here, let me show you what I'm all about'. She allowed me to play in her realm. I greatly look forward to my next sojourn with Salvia. I'm very curious to see what she has to offer. The Mazatecas have used her power for healing for ages, so I hope to learn ways to use it. And most importantly, I hope she remembers me!
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