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A Golden Prison
Methadone
by Alex Warhol
Citation:   Alex Warhol. "A Golden Prison: An Experience with Methadone (exp52428)". Erowid.org. Jul 3, 2018. erowid.org/exp/52428

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Methadone (pill / tablet)
    repeated inhaled Methadone (pill / tablet)
      Opioids  

BODY WEIGHT: 120 lb


Ah methadone! Just like heroin but without the needles.

Back in 1998 I got heavily into opiate painkillers and eventually heroin. To make a long story short I met a girl,fell in love,and was cured of addiction. Then things came crashing down in 2004 when she left me. I started getting heavily into substance abuse again. In Autumn of 2005 my friend that often sold me coke comes to my house tapping on my window while I am on the computer.

We go back in my room because he has something to show me. He pulls these two huge,wafer shaped pills out of his pocket. I inquire 'What is that?',he says 'It's methadone.' I had know it was used to treat heroin addicts and felt like heroin so I bought two tablets of it for eighty dollars. I broke one in half and then swallowed it,next I scraped powder from the remaining half and snorted a few large lines. I didn't feel anything special so I snorted a few more lines. I felt that euphoric,all loved,all dreaming sensation opiates give you. It was like heroin but a slower burn. It's claws slowly crept onto me til I was mildly naseus but content.

I felt the urge to communicate with people and be social that only opiates give me and stayed awake talking to a friend on yahoo til about 5 am. I was content and at peace. This was like heroin but better because the rush didn't die. I finally fell into a deep sleep. The next morning I awoke late with a pounding behind my eyes and the urge to throw up. I decided to go for the hair of the dog treatment and took one fourth of the other pill. The headache died and I was in bliss again.

Soon afterwards it came to the point I was spending all I had on methadone,and it didn't take long to discover I was a complete addict. The sickness I get when I don't get my fix was even in a way worse than being sick for any other opiate. I feel dirty,and ugly,and impure. I hide under blankets to stay warm but then it gets too hot and I have to get up. I pace my room listening to music and smoking filled with melancholy. A few months after I first became addicted the ultimate horror happened and my supplier was arrested. Things became desperate..stealing narcotics like darvocet and vicodin from my ailing grandfather,a substitute I would once use to take the edge off was tyleonl pm pills from the local convenience store I was forced to stop taking because the acetaminophen could be extremely damaging to my liver.

I watch films like Requiem for a Dream and they warn that addictions lead to sickness,death,imprisonment. They don't mention that sometimes it leads to worse.. Complete enslavement. The slow and silent death of my sanity and will like a world ruined by nuclear holocaust. It became me. It seemed all well and fun at first to me but it became anything but.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 52428
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 3, 2018Views: 1,316
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Methadone (166) : General (1), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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