DOSE:

2 hits

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

This is my second experience with Salvia. I read a lot of interpretations that are isolated to the individuals experience, and a lot of times the language tends to get too “trippy” for me to comprehend what they actually experienced.

So this is where I’m going to introduce some psychology and try to relate it to my experience before I TRY to explain what happened. There is something called an “observing ego” in psychology. An observing ego can be described as a sort of default awareness humans have over their environment. Observing Ego is something that for ME is always functioning to some degree even with all the drugs I’ve done which includes acid, speed, ecstacy, pot, heroin, shrooms, ether, coke, k, barbiturates, etc etc. In all these cases, even acid, there existed this certain awareness (although impaired) of my situation, who I was, and what was happening, that is the function of the observing ego… now to salvia.

My first experience was last week. I smoked a bowl with a butane torch, pulled it in deep and blew it out. Felt that so called “pulling experience”. It feels like parts of me are getting heavy, more or less what I believe is happening is my mind is dissociating from consciousness. So I took a second hit a minute later and blew it out (not really holding it in like I later learned I should) It mainly pushed me back up to a peak just a little bit higher, got the wavy vision. Parallel, blurry, and wavy lines would fluctuate with the general water perception. No hallucinations.

Second time however is a different story. Same amount, 2 bowls, regular grade leaves. Only difference was I held the smoke in this time for about 15 seconds each hit. This was when I realized (not till after the experience) that what most people said about Salvia is in fact true. Number one basic first fact, after that second dose, the onset to my peak was like a snake. It crept up out of nowhere and caught me off guard. This was when my observing ego, this extremely important human function, DISSAPPEARED.. Completely.

The one thought that comes to my mind when I look back at what happened is “alien abduction”, I know it sounds strange but its what I think of. Mainly the word “alien”. Because the experience was of a complete unknown and unexpected origin.

Now the trippy part:
I do not exist anymore, this is an absolute fact. I’m not EXPERIENCING another reality, I’m COMPLETELY submersed in one. My brain is not working. I try to remember the events as vivid as they were at the moment but cant recall now (which is my only motivation for trying it again, just to remember) But what I can recall and won’t do the experience justice, my scrambled memory will explain..

It felt as the center of me (not sure what “me” was at the time) opened up, and my body divided into multiple parts that became apart of my world. The world became my center. What it actually felt like was if one took the whole world including myself and threw it in a blender and I was in some kind of space (a lot of reddish colors come to my memory, possibly representing blood.. Again not really sure how to interpret) floating around, NOONE I knew or have ever met existed. I was EXTREMELY scared. More scared than my first day in prison. IT IS one of the scariest experiences to loose COMPLETE control of your mind. Acid is like a fluctuating control. Salvia I launch far out as possible and get sucked right back in.

As I came to, I was in front of a mirror seeing my face and I wanted to scream but couldn’t. Something was making sense again. My observing ego was slowly creeping back in. I was an object, not a human yet. I was actually looking in the mirror trying to figure out what I was. (that is not a cool feeling by the way) At some point I heard a whooshing sound, its now I realize that was my ears reconnecting to my brain, or my brain becoming aware of sound again. (I am convinced I couldn’t hear anything during the experience). I look at my hand, see my hand clenched with the bowl still in it, race to go hide it out of paranoia. The more I’m becoming conscious again the more I’m becoming scared of loosing complete consciousness in the first place. I’m understanding who I am, the word “human” was probably one of the first words to come to my head (as my main train of thought was trying to figure out what I was, again.. NOT COOL) But with that word I suppose came back my comprehension. Then as I was coming back down, I got a hot flash and took my shirt off. Thought I felt a sweat about to break, but didn’t. The hot flash was when I realized something severe had just happened to me, and I was still really clear what it was.

I ran upstairs to my computer, sat down, got up, became really fidgety, started actually shaking my arms rather violently (but on purpose) as I thought this would shake off the effects a little bit (didn’t work lol). After about 5 or 6 minutes after that last hit I was sort of happy. I was still feeling the after effects rather strongly. But I realized I was in control again. I wanted to lie down, got really tired. But every time I lied down I got this scary feeling the Salvia would kick in again.

All day now since the experience I’ve been baffled. The setting could have been better. My mother had just left to go to lunch. When coming down off the salvia I was thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong, like her coming home early for one. So setting is imperative. I’m yet to figure out how in that state I managed not only to stay standing, but to migrate about 15 feet to the mirror.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 52463
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 30, 2019	Views: 353
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)