Citation: Adam. "Cures a Loner: An Experience with MDMA (exp52534)". Erowid.org. Mar 13, 2020. erowid.org/exp/52534
Background information is necessary; it will be brief. It is April of 2006. For three years I have been a loner to the point of being a sociopath, having systematically 'burned my bridges'. I eventually realized that there was probably something wrong with me. Long story short; Marilyn Manson, black clothes, arson. You get the picture.
It was June of 2005 when my Sister - 22 months younger than I and an experienced drug user - offered to sell me one of her joints. I had been in one of my hate-spells and agreed that it made sense to try.
I immediately began to smoke two to three grams a week for the summer's duration; I loved it. I got a very positive effect from it, but still kept away from everyone else. I've had a job since September 05 to help pay for all of this fun stuff. In December, I began to use DXM - with help from harm reduction websites in safety and contraindications - in the form of Robitussin, with 300mg per bottle. I have done it around twenty times since, I suppose. I still like it. Needless to say, I'm racking up Optimum points like nobody's business, while adjusting my diet to compensate.
I started to get interested in MDMA hardly two months ago; It began with reading an immense amount of information in Erowid, and through establishing local contacts for a reliable source of Ecstasy. It began through two pills one weekend; one after the other with oral and insufflated administration, once Friday and once Saturday. I had immediate effects of Afterglow, which resulted in a greater confidence that never quite left.
Having recently bought 5 pills, I have been having one a day since Tuesday; this is my third day (April 21st) and I expect to make tomorrow my fourth, on my break at work. I have been doing this in school, and have so far been able to grasp many mathematical concepts that I had not previously understood. I also was able to make coherent mathematical analogies for metaphysical or psychological phenomenon I had become more attuned to. In doing so, thier meanings are never lost on me when I come down.
I have made more friends in the last week than I have in my entire time at my High School. I have the confidence to properly command the respect I deserve; I find the best aspect of Ecstasy is how otherwise totally unnatural and unfamiliar behaviour - such as the act of standing up for myself - comes absolutely naturally. As well, the methamphetamine component of the drug gives me what I need to back that up.
I have even been under the peak influence of a hit of Ecstasy on my second day, in the office of a VP. I was absolutely coherent and cooperative, and managed to actually get away with what I had done with no punishment (not related to drug use). I have never felt impaired with Ecstasy.
I combat my loss of appetite and need for sleep with Marijuana, which I have come to smoke on a daily basis. As well, I maintain many natural sources of beta carotine in my diet - through fruits and vegetables - to combat psychological and neurotoxic effects. I keep hydrated and well-ventilated, as well. I do not smoke cigarettes.
Having been prescribed Ritalin and Dexedrine throughout my childhood, I was familiar with the speedy effects. I have since secured my next job, and have finally been able to decide on a career and post-secondary education - something I otherwise had not been able to do. It provides me an endless motivation.
I have been courting two young ladies lately - often and openly under the influence of Ecstasy, and have been (for lack of a better word) macking on as many as several girls a hit. And I have been doing well; however many people may insist on phoney theories of Encephalopathy, none of them claim to prefer my old behaviour.
I foresee myself using MDMA frequently in the future In conclusion, I believe MDMA will help me develop and begin to understand a normal lifestyle.
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