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I Swore I Would Never Try It
by Claudia
Citation:   Claudia. "I Swore I Would Never Try It: An Experience with Heroin (exp52768)". Erowid.org. Aug 20, 2020. erowid.org/exp/52768

  repeated   Heroin (daily)


When all the other kids were starting to experiment with smoking weed, alcohol and cigarettes, I was the one that would always tell them how bad it was. I was a slow starter when it came to experimenting with drugs. I grew up with an alcoholic as a father and a sister who was addicted to cocaine, after watching these two people who I love with all my heart fight addiction I swore that I would never become part of the drug craze. Unfortunately, a year down the line I started experimenting with over the counter medications thinking that they were different from the harder things that you would get off the street. I was wrong! I became mentally addicted to Coricidin cold and cough, then started experimenting with smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and extascy. I always told my concerned friends that they didn't need to worry, this was all I would try. It's not like I was doing heroin. I always promised myself and the people that I cared about that heroin would never be a drug that I would experiment with, much less get addicted to. Sadly, this was a promise that I was unable to keep.

One year after experimenting with club drugs and mostly anything I could get my hands on, I tried heroin for the first time, and loved it. I continued to use it every other day thinking that this way I would not grow physically dependent upon the drug. I ended up leaving the USA and went to Africa for 6 weeks to do some volunteer work. This was the real test for me. I never thought that I would actually be sick. I did my best to lie to myself and pretend that I didn't have a problem, because I wasn't using every day. I was sick as a dog for the first 2 weeks I was in Africa, but then after that everything became much easier. I promised myself that when I came home I would no longer use, and continue to be sober. This was another lie.

When I came home, the first thing I did was go out and buy a bag. It was one of the best highs I had gotten from the drug. Now, instead of using every other day, I am using every day, multiple times a day. All I can think of is how I used to promise myself and my friends that I would never get to the point where I used this drug. I have started stealing from my family so I can pawn things off to get money, I've overdrawn my bank account $2500 all so I can support my habit. I can not believe that I have let myself get this out of hand. The reasonable thing would be to stop and go to detox, but I don't want to. As much as I hate my lifestyle, I love it all the same.
The reasonable thing would be to stop and go to detox, but I don't want to. As much as I hate my lifestyle, I love it all the same.
I have already lost quite a few friends to drugs, and I can't stop thinking when is it going to be my turn, but sadly the drugs make it so you don't care. People who read this all the way through are probably going to wonder what the point in me writing this is. No, unlike a lot of stories online, it's not a war story and glorifying the drug life. I hope that maybe just one person will read this and realize that the drugs aren't worth it. I'm 18 years old, and my parents want nothing to do with me, a lot of my friends want nothing to do with me, and all I care about are the drugs. Maybe I don't want to change yet, but it always is easier to save someone else than yourself.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 52768
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 20, 2020Views: 370
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Heroin (27) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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