Citation: Bong Man. "Take the Third Toke!: An Experience with DMT (exp52797)". Erowid.org. May 31, 2006. erowid.org/exp/52797
||(powder / crystals)
I have recently finally had what I consider to be the full DMT experience as I understand it to be. In fact, although my experience had astonishingly many similarities to other trip reports I have read and heard, it seemed to be far more elaborate and unbelievable than any trip report had ever conveyed to me, understandably of course. The best description I have heard of the overall internal sensation during the experience is that of Terence McKenna's when he remarks that:
“Somehow, it felt like I was finding out that thing that you cheerfully assume you can't find out.....but it felt like I was finding out.”
This is what it feels like. Like I have reached the core of all worldly understanding and there seem to be much more highly intelligent entities there who seem to want, in some way to teach me the secrets of the world.
And this notion of secrets of the 'world' here is one of the major distinctions that I have been able to make between 5-Meo-DMT and DMT. 5-Meo seems to provide, for a large portion of those who take it, including myself, the so called white light experience; a dissolution of one's self into pure connection with all other things, and sometimes a complete loss of contact with any 'thing'. The experience is very much that of a transcendental aspect akin to the philosophies of the east.
However, DMT is what I'm considering very 'worldly', in that it is not, in any way as I can tell a transcendent experience in the previously used notion of the word. If I want to talk about transcending dimensions or something on that level then the word might apply, but in the spiritual or pantheistic sense I do not think the word applies to DMT. DMT seems to me to be much more about the world of visual and sense perception and the lessons that seem to want to come across in the experience tend to be of a more practical 'worldly' nature (seeming largely to have to do with evolution of linguistic capability).
Just to clarify, when I say 'worldly', referring to DMT, I very much do not mean grounding, earthly, or anchoring. These words seem more like antonyms of DMT rather than synonyms. It is actually far from any of those in my experience. It is very alien. It is very other-worldly, and very uprooting. All I mean by 'worldly', as the best word I could come up with, is that it seems specifically not to relate on any immediate level to the transcendent experience akin to 5-MEO.
Now, I would like to shift to my actual experiences
I now have experience with 1 toke, 2 tokes, and 3 tokes, and I have to whole-heartedly agree with Terence on this one, when he claims that it's all in getting myself to take the 3rd toke. I may feel completely strange and exceedingly weary about taking the 2nd or even 3rd hit, because I already feel really loaded, but if I can maintain myself long enough to get that 3rd one in, it seems to make all the difference. So, I will discuss my experience at the 3 levels and let them speak for themselves.
[ah yes, I think it is important to note at this point, that I have never experience any sort of visuals or hallucinations from any dose of any other substance, not high-dose LSD or mushrooms or ayahuasca. All I have ever seen being my closed eyes has been darkness] until now...
1 toke - At this level the space behind my closed eyes becomes almost immediately multidimensional. I can clearly see a animated, domed, geometrically patterned visualization, largely made of colored & patterned equilateral triangles. After a few minutes this began to fade in and out of itself. Nothing much else occurred. In researching some of the literature surrounding DMT I found this experience to be much more like the notion of the 'chrysanthemum' in Gracie & Zarkov's commentary than that of Terence McKenna's. They describe it as:
...circular interlocking patterns in exquisite colors. It has been described as looking at a vaulted ceiling or dome.
If you did not 'breakthrough' to the levels described above, this 'chrysanthemum' pattern, as we call it, is all you will see. It is worth the trip, too.
I agree it is well worth the trip to see this, as it is astonishing and beautiful, but has no comparison to the other levels.
2 tokes - At this level the 'chrysanthemum' gives way to what I describe as a very crowded shopping mall (not really but I think it gets across the notion of the atmosphere). Now, one thing I noted is that there has never been any thrusting forward or any notion of traveling at rapid speeds, the transitions between the states have always seemed to happen very seamlessly. I am just suddenly immersed in a space that I had not been, several seconds previous. The crowded shopping mall, as I call it, was very elaborate and brightly colored; colors I had never imagined or seen. The structure was very large and entities seemed to be moving rapidly this way and that, very much seemingly going about there own business, not paying an attention to me, as if I was not anything new or interesting to be encountered in that world. And then after a few minutes of being in this space, I was back, quite astounded and quite ecstatic at my first experience of visual contact with non-identifiable entities, which in this experience seemed to be of the nature of floating orbs of energy, with an orangish hue.
3 tokes - This was the one that threw me for a curve. I had taken my first toke when the torch lighter decided to go dead. I was trying to take more hits, but the DMT space started to envelope me and I laid back and began my examination of the 'chrysanthemum'. As it began fading in and out of my vision, my companion returned to the room with a second lighter. After some deliberation about whether or not I would take the other tokes I decided that if I was going to do this I was going to do it the whole way. So with that firm resolve in my mind I took the 2nd and then the 3rd toke and lay back. This time the geometry's of the structure taking place around me were not so simple, not so kiddy-math, as the previous spaces I had encountered. The entire architecture around me was imbued with sacred geometry. The space was so vast that the architecture just receded in all directions farther than I could see. I have done some minor readings on sacred geometry and it had always just struck me as something that was neat math that could produce intricate and beautiful patterns, but faced with these kinds of structures, built literally out of all of these geometries in ways that boggle the mind.
I had the notion that these structures were not only the most impressive thing I had ever seen, they were impossible, not in the sense of impossible objects like from Escher or other artists, but impossible in the sense that nobody could ever actually make these with physical tools manipulated by bodily limbs. These structures had to have been thought into existence, but it seems to me that I could not have supplied the thoughts to create these structures, so where did they come from. Certainly, it might be possible to invoke Jung's notion of the collective unconscious, but still that is not how it seemed. It seemed, simply and straightforward like a place, intentionally built by someone’s or something.
And what do I know, there were beings that seemed to inhabit this place, that seemed to come off as vastly more intelligent and vastly more capable. And here is what startled me most of all. They wanted to teach me what they knew. They were interested in providing me with secret knowledge. The only caveat being that I had to decide right then, at that moment, to give myself completely over to them.
I hate deadlines and I hate being put on the spot. Now, how often in my life does this opportunity occur, however. A group of alien entities in another dimensional space who are highly intelligent offer to teach me that there secrets granted that I give myself over to them completely right then, without understanding the full implications of what that meant to give myself over to them. Hmmm.... I have never had to thing so rigorously in all of my life about every aspect of what might be the consequences of an affirmation of such an offer. I could not do it. My mind could not think quickly enough to rap around the ramifications of such an action, and given that I couldn't think about it fully enough, I decided it would be best to decline the offer, hesitantly and extremely unfortunately. The entities, briefly surprised by my decision, then began discussing among themselves whether or not I should be allowed this opportunity in the future or if I had decided and that was the end.
The deliberation seemed not to be leaning in my favor and I decided no to sit there in silence and late the fate of my future learning be decided without my input. I imparted to please allow me to come back and learn at a slower pace. I informed them that I was finding it difficult to make my brain process information at the speed required to comprehend all that was happening around me and that I thought that future experiences would provide me with more ability to navigate the space properly. They discussed this briefly and decided that this was acceptable, given one more decision that I still had to make immediately. They demanded that I promise to be EXTREMELY serious about this learning process; that I could not treat this as I have tended to do my other studies, of which I am truly interested but tend to be exceedingly lazy when it comes to actually putting rigorous thought into. I must agree that if they allow me to come back as a future student that I will not chince out when it comes to putting full effort into interpretation and implementation. This again, was a very serious proposal. It meant overcoming my tendencies toward laziness of mind, relatively so. I struggled with this for some time and embraced it as an opportunity to better myself in my habits on top of an unrivaled learning opportunity. I agreed to the seriousness of my future studies and with that the entities were satisfied and the experience was over.
However, the ramifications of my decisions were still strong with may and I lay there uncontrollably shaking for several minutes thinking about what I had agreed to, no longer from the effects of the chemical, but simply reeling from the implications of the experience.
Well, I know that was certainly long. But it was more complete for having been so, although of course not fully complete.
I do not claim any answers regarding what happens in the DMT space, but I have noticed astonishing similarities between the natures of people's experiences that tend to lead towards the hypothesis that this is less of a state of mind thing, and more of an objective experience than any other drug experience that I am aware of. (though that cannot be ultimately confirmed)
Except for salvia, perhaps... This is something else that I am extremely interested in; people's comments on the similarities between the salvia & DMT experiences, because they seem to have many of the same facets involved. To me they have felt almost identical except for the nature of the visuals, and the crowdedness of the space.
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