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Running Through the House of My Mind
Salvia Divinorum (5x extract)
by Mr. Chris
Citation:   Mr. Chris. "Running Through the House of My Mind: An Experience with Salvia Divinorum (5x extract) (exp52820)". Erowid.org. Feb 24, 2008. erowid.org/exp/52820

 
DOSE:
125 mg smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 5x)


Right, Iíve been meaning to type this up for a while, but it seems only now, approx. two weeks later, that Iíve got the proper perspective to right something useful for people. Initially I was going to classify this as a Bad Trip, but now Iím thinking Difficult Experience or even just as First Time. I hope this is useful or interesting as Iím really going to try my best.

Iíd like to preface this by saying that Iím a VERY experienced drug user. For many years I have used cannabis, mushrooms (brilliant), MDMA (also brilliant), cocaine (waste of money), Meth (yuck), BZP and TMFPP (also yuck), morphine (interesting). I have also done things like experimenting with massive dose caffeine and prescription drug cocktails (stupid). Basically Iím know what Iím talking about. I would also like to add that I love psychedelics, theyíre my favourite. Anyhow, I did all the reading up on salvia, and I mean thoroughly, for months. I knew to inhale deep and use a torch lighter. I knew to use a sitter. I knew how hardcore this stuff can be. I bought some 5x and despite my reading everything I made stupid mistakes.

My girlfriend was out for a couple of hours, the house was empty, and I had nowhere I had to be for a couple of hours so I thought ĎHey, Iíll smoke that salvia I bought. Iíll see some shit and itíll wear off by the time I have to go out.í What an idiot. I would also like to say I was in a pretty good mental place at the time, but I should have been somewhere better.

I cleaned up, locked the door (didnít want to go wandering off into traffic now, did I) and sat down on my bed. I filled the bowl with about 1/8 of a gram by eye (I had read this was a Ďcommoní amount Ė double checking I see this is Ďstrongí Ė big mistake not checking). I had planned to smoke a threshold amount just so my brain had seen the chemical before, but I didnít bother Ė another mistake. I was feeling slightly anxious as I torched and sucked in all the bowl in one massive rip. I thought the smoke would be harsh but didnít find it so. I held it and honestly didnít expect anything to happen as it was my first go Ė boy, was that a mistake.

I could feel the salvia coming on after only a few seconds. I went to take another toke but I canít remember if I bothered. I reached down hundreds of miles to put the bong on the floor, scrabbled to turn on the CD player then watched myself lay back on the bed. I never felt myself touch the bed. I was instantly the highest Iíve ever been. You know those graphs to show you how you go up and down? There was no line up. I went from baseline to fully high instantly. It was at the top of an asymptote.

Reality got sucked away into a swirling vortex. I have noticed many people describe similar things but here goes anyway. There was an orange swirl going clockwise that was my bedroom, then a green swirl going in the same direction, yet in the opposite direction. The geometry of what I saw is completely impossible to explain as it can not exist in our reality. The green swirl was my living room. I was running backwards and forwards between them as my reality was being sucked away. I didnít remember smoking the herb. I didnít remember what reality is or was as it was being pulled from beneath me.

This was almost complete ego loss and I was terrified. I mean, seriously, I had The Fear. I new that to bring reality back I had to be in the right room, but every time I Ďreachedí one, I had to Ďgo back to the other wayí (the phrase kept repeating in my head) as the correct room had swapped again. I didnít want to be pulled along the twisting spiral and I tried to pull myself back by grabbing the banister of my stairs and pulling myself along. I could just do this, but it was more effort than I could ever explain. Also I should explain that I had no body and was using Ďthe hands of my mind.í

I am aware of the wooden porch my parents had when I was a child. I am also aware of how cross my mother is with me for being so stupid Ė screwing up my brain with this nightmare because I was a bit bored (I think the image/knowledge of my mother may represent the salvia itself Ė lady salvia, hey?). I try to say my name in my head but I canít finish it because a) I canít remember it all, b) it sounds ridiculous to me at the time, and c) language doesnít make sense. I try to say the name of where I live but I canít make language at all now.

Iím standing in my bedroom. Iím confused and hot. I know Iím in my room but I donít understand what the things in it are. Is this reality or somewhere else? Should I be here? Am I in someone elseís house? I decide to find out if I really was running around the house. The door is unlocked. This confuses me, as I donít think I would have had the mental capacity to unlock a door. I creep down the hall and peek in the living room. The hall and the living room seem strange and disturbing I donít recognise them and I donít think Iíve been here, although the scuffed carpet confuses me. I decide I definitely want to be in my bedroom. Iím now just starting to get a handle on things. I change my T-shirt (Iím really sweating). If I concentrate on something for a long time I know what it is, but if I concentrate too long I forget what everything else is, and I donít want reality to slip away again.

I should mention that I still seriously had The Fear. Just remembering what happened in this much detail is still making me uncomfortable now. I want my girlfriend to come back and make it better (remember Ė no sitter = big problem) but I was scared she would be cross with me like my mum is/was. I also at some point around now spilt all the water out of my bong in attempt to put it away, because that might make it stop. I decide that acting normally will make me get better quickly, but TV seems so superficial and I canít concentrate on it. Plus as I said, when I concentrate I forget where I am. Also the TV program had an antique doll whoís head had three different faces on it (this is true not a hallucination) which I didnít want to look at all Ė sill wouldnít. Adverts were OK.

I spent the next hour/hour fifteen wandering between my bedroom and living room until my girlfriend came back. I instantly felt a bit better. I told her I was feeling confused by everything and she made everything seem better Ė God bless her.

In retrospect Lady Salvia is not benevolent, not malevolent either. I went straight to ĎIí (level 5) on the S-A-L-V-I-A scale, and I donít want to be there again. I had nightmares about that complete ego and reality loss that night. Sometimes I look at how ridiculous the world is and I worry that Iím not back in reality proper. This is just over two weeks later. Initially I swore off salvia completely, but I noticed I havenít thrown away what Iíve got. It was a profound experience and I may try (MUCH less) salvia again. I would, however, recommend it to no one. But I am glad Iíve done it, even if it was the single most terrifying experience of my life. No one should have to feel what itís like to be pulled from reality and forget who they are and where they come from Ė this last one worried me most ĎHow do I know if Iím back if I donít know where Iím from?í

I needed to get this off my chest as Iíve only just managed to integrate what happened. Incidentally, my housemate was upstairs the whole time and said that I was definitely NOT running around the house, so I donít know what was going on there.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 52820
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 24, 2008Views: 4,510
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Salvia divinorum (44) : First Times (2), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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