Rebirth & Union With My Guardian
Ketamine
Citation:   R3b!r7tI-I. "Rebirth & Union With My Guardian: An Experience with Ketamine (exp53205)". Erowid.org. Oct 16, 2010. erowid.org/exp/53205

 
DOSE:
200 mg insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
Recently I obtained 2 points, or 200mg of Ketamine. I did not originally intend on taking all 200mg's. Though for some dumb reasoning of mine I decided that it would be better to have all of it at once. So I waited till I was about to go to bed so that my dad would not see me on this stuff because I had been told that you are unable to move and speak properly etc. So after I said good night, I went into my bathroom and took out the K. It turned out to be alot more then it looked in the two small bags. About 2 and 1/2 fatty lines. Before I even get through snorting the lines I'm starting to feel the come on. This makes me panic a little, so I finish up and hurry and take my contacts out so I could go to bed. I rushed into my room, set up some music, and turned out the lights.

Bam! I'm swimming, swirling, and twisting through nothingness. I manage somehow to get into my bed and under the covers. It starts to get very cold and very dark, and I realize...I am dead, it was on purpose, but I am dead. Through the dark haze I realize that I died to cleanse myself. Something evil was inside me. This did not surprise me because I cam to the realization that I had been acting weird for several months. Not like myself at all.

I started shivering, it is very cold when you are dead. I started to panic, not knowing what to do next. Then I see a light. This mass of energy swirling and changing in light rainbow colors. This being communicated to me that I was about to be cleansed of this evil thing. The communication was not through speech, but rather through emotion. The swirling ball of energy I realized must be my guardian. Not a he nor she nor it, just....my guardian. As I am shivering I start to feel convulsions, first in my fingertips, up to my head and neck, then down to my toes. I realize that these convulsions were the cleansing of this evil 'spirit.'

Shortly after this happens I stop shivering. My guardian then communicates to me that it is time for the 'next stage' in this 'rebirth.' By this time I am nothing but a lifeforce... An energy without a body....a soul. I realize that now I am totally pure again, as I once was, when I was born the first time. My guardian communicates that this next step is regaining my old body. To do this I had to relearn how to use this body. This was because I was only a spirit, I had no memories of past life. I only knew what my faithful guardian told me.

I first relearn how to see. This is fascinating due to the mass amounts of hallucinations the K was causing. Next I learn how to breathe, which seemed to me quite a hard thing to grasp. Next came swallowing, blinking, hearing, tasting, feeling, moving my mouth, my head, my fingers, etc. etc. Till finally I have somewhat got used to this body. For awhile I play around with my body, because for all I knew at that point, I had never had one. After a little while a fascinating discovery of a 'body,' my guardian communicates to me that it is time for the final step. I need to regain all my old memories, and sense of 'self.'

All of a sudden I see a swirling vortex looking like a tornado in ever shifting shades of purple. I had a birds eye view of this vortex. I realize it is my whole 'life' not just what I had experienced up till now, but all of it. At least all of it till the peak of my most happy times. Why I say this is because at the top of the vortex I see a platform. At the end of the platform I see what looks like a white checkpoint like in some roleplaying game. I some how know that it is my goal in life. My perfect happiness. I expected it to be sometime around 20 or so. Anyway I realize that I myself am twirling through this vortex gowing higher and higher, and for some reason equipped with a grapple hook. I then know what I have to do. I sling my grapple as close to the 'portal' as possible. Trying with all my might to reach it. Though I fall short, and only reach about to the edge of the platform right above the top of the vortex which was threatening to suck me in. I come to the realization that 'yes.. I have done it,' I now am back in my body once more. I explore all these memories and my sense of 'self' for quite some time.

Then suddenly I see my guardian. Though not in the same way. I now see my guardian as a bird, still with the constantly swirling rainbow colors, yet not a mass of energy any longer. I come to realize that while in my body my mind can not comprehend the way my guardian looks in reality, so my mind has shifted my guardian into a more pleasing visual. As my guardian is slowly flying down to me I notice a key on a necklace hanging around my gaurdians neck. The key looks the same as my guardian, constantly shifting rainbow colors. As my guardian gives me the key, it is communicated to me that this key is the key to my spirit. My guardian also communicates that it can be used for pathways to other realms, etc etc. Kind of like the key Sora has in 'Kingdom Hearts' the game. My guardian then communicates to me that they (both my guardian and the key) will be waiting for me on the 'other side.' The other side meaning the spirit realm. It is also communicated to me that all I need to do to get to the spirit realm is to be in the right state of mind, and to ingest some sort of 'tool' whether it be Acid, K, Shrooms, or any other form of a psychedelic.

I now rest in peace knowing that when I die and leave this current body, that my guardian will be there to guide me peacefully to the next one. I feel it is important to say that I do not take psychedelics for fun, but rather for self and spiritual enlightenment.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 53205
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 16, 2010Views: 5,545
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Ketamine (31) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9)

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