Citation: cRUNk4L1f3. "No Fun: An Experience with Bupropion (Wellbutrin) (exp53551)". Erowid.org. Oct 30, 2008. erowid.org/exp/53551
Ladies and gentlemen, never try to recreate the following story about a dumb eighteen year old and his anti depressants. This wellbutrin trip is one the of the scariest ordeals I've ever gone through, hallucinations, seizures, and the anxiety/paranoia were just a few of the side effects. The following takes place in a cold dark basement.
So itís another boring Thursday night and I just got done working an eleven hour shift. I would usually go for some weed, but I wonít get my paycheck till tomorrow. Wondering about I can do for the next few hours it hit me like a brick, I remembered someone saying you can trip off Wellbutrin like itís an amphetamine if you take enough. I had just got bumped up to 300mg a day for my chronic depression, but still had some 150mg pills left. Excellent, I can have a fun night after all!
Walking downstairs, I remember to grab some bottled water and Pepsi from the fridge. If Iím going to do this I better be safe and drink some water. I had already taken 450mg at lunch that day and couldnít feel a thing. So I haste-fully grabbed the bottle and dumped it all out onto the table. In one smooth motion guzzled down 5 pills with a cool Pepsi. I contently leaned back on the couch, turned on the television, and waited.
About half hour later I stand up and am greeted with a head rush like no other. I feel great! The high was quite euphoric, almost like I was floating around on a cloud. Deciding playing video games would be fun, I pop in F.E.A.R and get onto a multiplayer server. The high was getting better every minute, the sounds from the game were so clear! Everything was more intense, I could hear a pin drop from a mile away. Everything moved in slow motion like I was underwater.
After awhile I got restless and started chatting to everyone online. I told of the wellbutrin I had ingested and mentioned the fact that I had six more pills I was going to take.
ďBuddy you took too much you need to go to the hospital!Ē said one player.
ďNah mayne Iíve been on this for a month I can handle it.Ē I replied. A few guys try to talk me out of it, but itís only egging me on further. ďNo one tells Jim what he can and canít do!Ē With that in mind I was feeling more invincible than titanium plated diamond. I flipped four more pills into my mouth and chugged them down. I was confident that I would have a good night. Seeing that I only had two pills left now, I grabbed them. Damn, I finished my Pepsi. I slammed the empty can on the table. The clang of the aluminum against the wood was loud, like a gunshot went off in my ear. I pondered going upstairs for some more Pepsi, but my parents would see me and think I was on coke or something.
After about twenty minutes I stood up from my computer chair and almost fell down. Wow Iím fucked up! I crawled back on the computer. My stomach was feeling very queasy and didnít feel too hot. I decided to check online about the effects and correct dosage right quick, better safe then sorry. The monitor seemed to float in front of me. The lines were bright and hard to read. This dude here did 750 mg and was messed up, this other guy sniffed up 150mg and suffered from some side affects. I get that feeling you get when youíre at the top of a rollercoaster and your stomach drops as you anticipate your descent downhill.
After reading a couple more experiences I realized I had overdosed. Letís see, I had 3 earlier today, and then 5 pills, then 4 pills, x150mg each. All my thinking, cognitive functions, and memory became cloudy like I was in a dark fog. I knew there was no chance in hell that mental math was going to work. Entering the numbers into the computers calculator it came out with 1800mg. Yeah, remember that feeling I was talking about earlier, imagine that times sensation times 10. At this point I realized that I had severely overdosed and was going to have one hell of a night.
Ok, hereís where things get really weird and scary. Itís been about an hour and a half since I took the first batch of pills. Nothing is like I remember it being, at this point Iím only slightly coherent. At first the trip started out as an extremely bad panic attack. I have no idea what Iím in for and Iím thinking about what I can do to stop this trip. I try to run upstairs to grab some bread and more water. I was on the second step when I felt my legs give out. Crashing to the floor I panic. ďOh my god, are my parents going to wake up?Ē ďI know they heard me fall!Ē ĒWhat if they come in my room?!Ē
I walked like a retard, the best way to describe would be that I was a drunken zombie. I make it into the bathroom and turn on the light immediately. At this point the light is my friend. I donít know what could be lurking in the shadows of my basement. ďWhoís that!Ē I thought while falling backwards. Iím looking at my reflection in the mirror. My face was distorted, and frankly I was scared of myself. I would stare down my reflection in the eyes like he was a real person, but it is a real person, itís me. I amused myself for awhile by playing the donít blink game with my second half. Every game we played would wind up being a tie, so I decided to let him go. I looked into the mirror again, my pupils were the size of nickels. My chest was beating so hard I could hear it.
All Iím trying to do is survive this ordeal without hospitalization or waking my parents. I was convinced I would die. I chug 4 bottles of water and lay down on my bed to try and sleep it off. Big mistake, I lie down and close my eyes, I hear this thumping noise. It sounds like its coming from inside my head, and it gets louder and louder. My eardrums were just about to burst when I miraculously will it away. Mind over matter I kept repeating as I opened my eyes. Looking around my room I have some sick tunnel vision. It seems like my eyes are 10 feet long and all the edges swirl together. I started to look at my hallucinations. Objects seemed to bleed air, it looked like a giant heat wave was covering my room. I can barely breathe and I become aware that I was not going to get any sleep anytime soon.
I get back on my computer and try to listen to some music and calm down. My desktop screensaver was a big blown up picture of Tupac Shakur. I stared him down right in his eyes. All of the sudden his eyes moved, he was looking at me! Then he started to talk and say things, but it sounded nothing like Tupac. I started to form all these theories like Tupac was sent from god, all these things are racing through my head a mile a minute. I look around and jump up into my chair in the fetal position. I was seeing mice running all around in my room. Now I knew I was hallucinating, but at the same time I thought it was real. It was like my brain would think one thing and my body would think another.
The rest of the night was a blur of emotions, puking, seeing ghosts, and generally freaking out all night thinking tupac was Jesus reincarnated. I close my eyes to sleep and It feels like thereís Jell-O in my brain. I start to feel electrical shocks all through my body. I was about as far as you can get from reality, like walking around in a huge nightmare. I was just kind of floating around, I could see my spirit run around the basement, thereís ghosts flying around and the loudest ringing noise in my ear like the one earlier. Itís like a constant fire alarm going off in my dome.
At one point I went in REM (rapid eye movement) with my eyes blinking uncontrollably. It was as close to sleeping as I could get. Then I started to have a seizure. Looking down at my legs they were sporadically moving around like I was a rag doll. After a few minutes this slows down and I only have tremors. I lie on the floor and somehow manage to pass out. I wake up an hour later covered in sweat. It was only 5 A.M. The trip was still intense and I spent the rest of the morning fighting off the spiders and the ringing noise. I smoked cigarette after cigarette. My speech is slurred so I avoided my parents till they left the house.
The rest of the day was uneventful and very unpleasant. I am writing this the day after this happened. My eyes still are dilated and I still hear things louder and see random spots that jump out at me. I had to call in sick for work, and I left a voicemail. For some reason I couldnít really say what I wanted to say. I didnít even complete some of my sentences, at one point I just kind of froze while going ďUhhhhhhhhhĒ till I hung up. I donít care, Iím alive. It feels like its been weeks since it happened. I feel disassociated with reality, and time seems to go by SO SLOW. When I listen to a rap song I hear every single word in full pronunciation. Iím scared to go to sleep for fear of my dreams. Iíve since decided to quit all drugs besides MJ and stop smoking cigarettes.
So all in all I came out relatively unscathed and morally stronger. Sometimes it takes fighting off the devil himself to make it out on top.
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