Citation: j. "The Terribleness is Hard To Remember: An Experience with Cocaine (exp53631)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2018. erowid.org/exp/53631
Ok now let me first tell you that I have experimented with this substance multiple times and each time their are many regrets. All of which are present during the all to famous come down. I have been doing this substance at a rate of .4 grams for the last few days (I am not sure as to the exact period of time). Every time I do it I swear to my self it is the last time but mush to my dismay it never is. It is also interesting how the terrible low that is felt after the high, is never remembered in its fullest. Cocaine in my experience has forced me to lie to myself. Lies about addiction, lies about what it is I'm really doing to myself, anything to make me feel better. Luckily I am going to camp in 19 days where I will have 0 access to coke. This is one of those things I tell myself so the fear of dependency does not drown me alive. I am a religious pot smoker, multiple times a day, sometimes with out actually getting high. I realize my problem and fully except it into my life which could be a good thing or a bad one you decide. I have ingested multiple lines my latest being a couple of minutes ago and mainly it is scary that I am writing this considering I'm not actually conducting an experiment but taking up space on this website with my experience so that others may learn from it.
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