Citation: Jtstin. "Life in the Third Person: An Experience with Ecstasy, Cannabis & Caffeine (exp5413)". Erowid.org. Mar 1, 2001. erowid.org/exp/5413
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:00
| T+ 4:00
||(pill / tablet)
My whole week was shitty and i had been in this depressed state for about three weeks because of the job i lost, and my girlfriend dying in a car accident three months before. Life couldnt have gotten much worse. a close friend of mine suggested that we go to a rave, and try to forget a little of the bad, and experience the good.
We left christina's house at about 9:30. In a caravan of three cars, all three loaded to the brim with the closest of friends, we embarked for baltimore. Rumor had it that there was supposed to be a phat rave in an old warehouse and that the same people promoting this one had organized tempest, a rave last year that was nothing short of divinity
So 1 hour later we arrive at the warehouse, and i immediately snort 115 mg of MDMA that i had previously crushed up. the effects were close to instantaneous, and the dosage was very high for me, especially because i have a low tolerance to most enactogens. immediately i could feel the 'roll' coming on and it was intense, my friend colin, an experience user, placed his fingers at the base of my skull and did this massaging motion and moved up and down my spine. every sensation felt like an orgasm, every time the beat hit my ears it felt like some goddess was whispering to me. The roll was extremely intense, but unfortunately, the insufflation had caused it to be very abrupt, and about 30 minutes later i had returned to just about baseline
Then came the northern lights.
For those of you who dont know, northern lights is an extremely potent strain of marijuana and sells for about 60-85 dollars a gram. It is about 21-27% THC, depending on the harvesting methods, and is very easy to smoke.
We had been asking around, looking for anyone that could possibly have any good weed and be willing to sell. A security guard came up to us about 35 minutes into this endeavor and said that he was trying to get rid of 1.5 gms of northern lights because he was flagged by the police, and he would sell it to us for 50 dollars. I immediately took him up on it, and he even let us borrow his pipe to use. Chrstina and Colin split .5 grams, while i, the more experienced toker, used the one gram. we sat in a circle, holding hands unless toking, and basically just enjoying the general vibe of paul oakenfold on the speaker and the trails of smoke sliding through everything. 30 minutes later, we had finished everything, and i got up to go return the bowl. This is when everything hit me head on with the intensity of a thousand suns. my whole body felt like i was on the moon. i stood up, and instead of moving forward, my eyes kept moving up. sounds swirled in and out of my head, like a painter adding colors to a painting. my vision began to blur in and out, and everytime i moved, my brain told me that i had made a mistake, and i should have been in the same spot. I quickly made my best attempt to move away from the chill area and go to the dance floor. these quick motions, combined with the THC, for some reason caused a relapse with the MDMA. I had made it to the dance floor, just to listen to the music in a light i had never experienced before, i was able to contemplate every single note as if each note had a story behind it, the pulsating black lights, combined with the MDMA relapse made me feel as if the black lights were massaging my body, and pushing me away at the same time. I met up with christina, who must have been experiencing something similar, because she immediately kissed me, and we started to dance.
at about t+1:45 from insufflating the MDMA, i was nearing the plateau of the synergism. my eyes molded everything as a collage of paintings, the lights had dimension and mass, like colored poles flying through the air. with christina at my side, we moved away from the dance floor, and over to the lounge. we decided that it was in our best interest to meditate and light some incense. As we sat down and closed our eyes, i began to feel this inner calm, as if my mind was telling me to be ok. I visioned my girlfriends funeral, the utter pain i had experienced, the ensuing depression. And as i felt like i was about to cry, it went away just as fast. Like a giant weight being lifted from me, i began to accept her fate, and for that i cried out of sheer happiness. I was able to reflect on all aspects of my life, as if they were chapters in a book. i could bring myself back to childhood memories, and relive them in the third person. i saw myself running around the neighborhood with my best friend Colin, who no doubt had decided to drop acid by now. I was in a movie theatre, a row behind me and my first girlfriend, 7th grade. I saw my first kiss. I opened my eyes, and i was back at the rave. and christina was in my arms, we were both weeping, so happy to be alive. we got up and began talking to people near by, introducing ourselves and trying to convey our happiness to them. a few understood, most laughed.
At T+3:30 i felt like the plateau was wearing off, the MDMA had worn off, and the THC was beginning to take on its male characteristics. I sat back, drenched in sweat from dancing, and just observed everything. reflected on society, government, lifestyles, oppression, racism, politics, you name it. For some reason, everything just seemed so futile. It seemed as if people get consumed in living their daily lives, and really forget to LIVE. I was glad that i could realize this, because this kicked my depression about losing my job. I glanced at my watch to see what time it was, like i cared. It was 4:30 am. reaching into my bag, i popped a caffeine pill, and went to the dj, and handed him a cd, asking him to play it if possible. he said of course, and popped it in for playback. The cd, shri durga, by DJ Cheb i Sabbah, is the ultimate trance cd, and i have always used it to acheive a sense of inner calm. the remaining fifty people or so on the dance floor loved it, just chilling to the ettheral beats.
we left at t+5:30, driving to the nearest deli, and enjoying the july sunrise.
In retrospect, i can understand why drugs like MDMA, and marijuana are illegal. I definitely do not agree with it, but drugs like these and LSD, peyote, etc. are mind expanding drugs, they free your mind to let you observe the bullshit our society puts its people through, the futility of capitalism, the corruption of government. drugs like these are illegal because the authorities are afraid of what could happen to their oppressive system if enough people actually understood the nature of american government and market capitalism. I have gained a new understanding from this experience, one that will never leave me.
'It is every mans moral obligation to break unjust laws' -
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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