DOSE:

repeated

Methamphetamine

I no longer use Meth, and now that I've stepped away from the drug, I can see it from a whole different perspective. Comparing the reality I had as a meth user, compared to the one I had before using meth, and it's truly a shocking difference. So how could a person be so changed by a drug? I'm not sure, but the drug itself could have a huge thing to do about it. When I was on it, I felt fast, strong, in control. It destroyed all my self-concious thoughts and replaced them with pure confidence. That's when the whole lot of Tweaker kids came down the street, we all had the craziest of clothes on, we didn't care that it looked totally ridiculous, we just like the way we looked no matter what, that our creative stimulus could not be hindered. It was like having all the shackles I put on myself, and that are put on me by others, just be diminish into strands of yarn, to be so easily broken away.

And now that I look at myself in the mirror, and can't see my ribs anymore, and can't see tons of little bumps where picked zits had been, I see a person who knows themself more deeply then he ever had before.

When I am on this drug, and I am thrown into situations a normal me would have never been in, I truly learn my capabilities and disadvantages. I learn what I'll act like when nearly psychotic, and I learn what I'll act like when I am in total control. It makes me hyperactive in my interactions with the world, but in a cool, calm, collected manner. Good dope, atleast.

So why step away from it? Because it only lasts so long before one starts Chasing the Dragon. Trying to get the next jump, that next super high that makes life a mortal nirvana, or I just don't want to go to sleep, for slumber would be like a horrid death to my twenty-waking-day marathon. And as I sink deeper into usage, a weekend thing becomes my daily existance, I slowly start to become terrified by the thing I am becoming. It's not that it's bad...it's just changing at way to far of a pace. The mind growers slower when I am sober, I feel confusion come more quickly when engaged in normal thought, and the emotions change to erratic, sometimes mentally unhealthy proportions.

It's not that people lose control of the drug, it's that the drug learns how to control them. It's like a possesion that rips away at the mind unlike any other drug I've experianced, and I've tried a fair lot of them.

I would use Meth again, but only if it were offered to me, and I felt totally comfortable about the envirorment I was in. And I would make doubly sure I did not use again for a good long time. But therein lies the problem...a good long time can become shorter and shorter every time on uses. I will try, as any man can, to keep to a very simple, but all so ass-kickingly true: Don't...be...stupid.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 54213
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 23, 2018	Views: 1,026
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Retrospective / Summary (11)