Citation: Sonya. "My Life as a Twist Tie: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp54492)". Erowid.org. Apr 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/54492
I have tried virtually every illegal drug known to man, and have never felt more out of control or uncomfortable as I felt on Salvia. I have always been partial to psychedelics so when I heard that Salvia divinorum gave a powerful and unique trip, I was excited to give it a try, especially since it is still legal and readily available on-line. Before ordering I did research on Erowid and other websites, as well as talking to people to hear first-hand accounts. From what I learned I decided to order the most potent extract that I could find, the 20x extract leaves. This was against the advise of the distributer, who labeled it as 'for experienced users only.' I figured my experience with other drugs would translate. I knew that there are various levels of tripping, and I decided that if I were going to experience it I wanted the full effect. I am 30 years old and have been recreationally using drugs since I was 15. Marijuana is the only drug I use consistently. I take a multivitamin every day, but nothing else was in my system. I had dinner about 2 hours before I smoked.
I'll back up for a moment and say that when I first got the bag I tried a very small amount as a trial run. I packed a one-hitter with half good marijuana and half Salvia. It made me feel that gravity had shifted and gave me a major case of the giggles that lasted about 10 minutes, but nothing beyond that. I decided to go for the full experience and smoke a lot of it.
I was hanging with my best friend at her place. It was a lovely evening, full moon in Capricorn. I told her I wanted to give it a try, so we went to setting up the living room to be most comfortable. Dim lighting, soft good music. I sat at her alter for a moment to ground and center myself. I prayed for protection, a fun experience, and for lessons from my guides. I decided to use the bong since the smoke tastes disgusting and is also very hot. I put about 1/4 of the 1 gram bag of 20x Salvia into the bowl. With my best friend sitting beside me, I pulled the smoke into the chamber slowly then shotgunned the smoke in all at once. They say to use a butane lighter but I used a regular one.
The next thing I knew I felt incredibly hot and crowded. I was very, very unhappy. I also became aware that I was part of a larger whole. The larger whole that I was a part of was a twist tie. In particular I made up part of the edge of the twist tie, which was used to hold closed a bag of white hamburger buns, which were in a clear bag with yellow, blue and red writing on a white background. I was terribly unhappy, hot and uncomfortable, and terrified. No one told me that I was part of a twist tie, it was something that I just knew, and it was miserable. There was a family of three near me, and we were at a picnic table. There was a mom, dad, and little girl, and I was filled with resentment for being left to sit out in the sun knowing that eventually I would be picked up, handled roughly, and discarded. Again, no one told me these things, I just knew that it was what was to happen. I started going crazy when the dad picked me up and started to twist me, it felt like I was being ripped in half, from the face down. I was angry, and wanting desperately to escape, to launch myself from the mass that was the rest of the twist tie. At this point I suppose I started to come down a little bit, because I recognized that my best friend was near by, and I called out for her to please help me. I spent the next 5 minutes begging and pleading for help, but knowing in my heart that there was no way out, that this was my new reality, and that there was no going back to whatever there was before the twist tie. I had no idea where I was, and I didn't like it at all.
When I finally came to enough to realize where I was, I thought I had lost my mind. For one thing I could sense everyone who had ever lived in that apartment, with the more recent occupants having a stronger signature that the ones from further back. I got up and told my friend that it was too hot, and I had to go outside, I couldn't breathe. It was like the worst claustrophobia I could imagine. Putting on flip-flops was a huge ordeal at this point. Somehow I managed, and lunged outside and down the two flights of stairs to the front stoop. It was then, about 10 minutes after I smoked, that I started to feel human again.
I looked over at my best friend, who looked a little afraid of me, and chilly in the night air. I was hot, covered in sweat, and wanted a cigarette like there was no tomorrow. I used to smoke so occasionally I will still get cravings, but in this particular instance I would say it had more to do with the properties of tobacco. Tobacco is said to be grounding, and I wanted desperately to come down, and I think that a cigarette would have been marvelous right then.
When we came back inside I took a long, cool shower. While in the shower I thought, how can I open the bottle of shampoo without hurting the cells that make up the lid? It may sound crazy but I had an epiphany of the animate versus the inanimate. Truly we are all parts of this universe, so I prayed to understand the lesson here. As I stood in the shower I started thinking about gratitude, about recognizing that we are all part of the fabric of the universe, and small or large we all play a part. I started thanking the water droplets for touching my face and cooling me down, I thanked the bathtub, I thanked the shampoo and the bottle it came in, I thanked my legs for standing me upright. I went deep inside my heart and saw it fill with gratitude which I then pushed out in all directions.
When I laid down to go to sleep my mind was still active. It really did wipe me out for the remainder of the evening. Did I really just experience what it was like to make up part of a twist tie? Did that really make me have a new understanding of living my life filled with gratitude? It was not fun by any means. The lessons were powerful and interesting, but I can honestly say that I will never, ever smoke Salvia divinorum again, and I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Upon reflection it was interesting, and I did enjoy the mind trip about gratitude, but I have never felt so unhappy in this life as I did in those 10 minutes that I lost all grasp on reality. For anyone curious to give this a try, I would advise other options. Mushrooms also give lessons and vision quests, and in a much more pleasant and lovely way.
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