Citation: Kaltoon. "A Pleasant Relief: An Experience with Heroin (exp55170)". Erowid.org. Feb 6, 2007. erowid.org/exp/55170
||(powder / crystals)
Some background on me before I begin. I am a simple dock worker. The labor I do is all physical, I stand around for about 14 hours a day lifting, bending, pushing, pulling. I work six days a week and the one day I have for rest is not enough to relax.
I took heroin not knowing its effects, looking for an escape from the extreme muscle soreness and pain that I suffer daily. I do not take anything like medication, herbs, supplements, vitamins or minerals. The only thing entering my body is food and water.
For some reason in the weeks leading up to me taking heroin, the pain in my body had reached a new level. It was far more intense, longer lasting and no amount of rest seemed to dismiss it. I had complained to a buddy of mine at the dock and he asked me if I wanted to try heroin.
At first I was taken aback, that seemed incredibly extreme to me. Why not just offer me some muscle relaxants or advise me to a doctor? Deep down I knew at the moment he asked I would end up trying it. I had an adventurous youth, occasionally smoking pot, trying a little cocaine, but this had been 15 to 20 years prior.
A few days went by and I finally caved in and told him I wanted some heroin. I stressed no needles and that I didn't want to smoke either, he laughed and told me he would bring a little powder in a bag, just enough for one line. The next day I received it and promptly took it home after work to try it.
My mindset at the time was preoccupied with the constant dull pain throughout my body. I was mentally stressed from that, physically taxed from the job and overall exhausted. I live alone in a small apartment with well insulated walls so unless I'm listening to music (which I wasn't) it is almost completely silent in my apartment. I laid the line on the table, my heart started to beat faster from anxiousness, and I rolled up a dollar bill and quickly snorted the line.
T-8:53 pm Good God! If I had been concerned with the pain in my body that was quickly replaced with the pain in my nose. My eyes became a little watery and the only thing I can compare the feeling to was when I used to get chlorinated pool water in my nose when I would swim. The pain was so far beyond that though that the comparison is hardly accurate.
T-8:55 pm All of a sudden the pain disappeared. I started to feel good. The feeling became very intense, really a whole body orgasm. I just wanted to lay down and I did. As soon as my body came to rest on the floor the bones in my spine, knees, and hips simultaneously popped, as if being relieved from extreme pressure.
The different muscles in my back spasmed at different times for seemingly the next minute. Then a warmth fell over me. My body relaxed completely. Every muscle, even my eyelids felt to give up the concern and the care they had carried for so long. I lay there and could not think of anything, no thoughts, no ideas, no concerns, nothing. It was as if someone had disconnected my brain from my entire body and then physically massaged it. I've not had that feeling ever, not before, not since.
My eyes closed but I was awake, as awake as I could be given my current position. I remember looking slowly at the clock one last time between my eyes being able to open and then falling completely asleep for the night and it read 10:49 pm. Apparently I had just been laying there for almost two hours. It felt as if only minutes had passed.
I then went into a kind of black hole of existence, I guess what it would be like to die and then have the soul go into eternal sleep. I did not dream, I did not wake up. That was the soundest sleep I had since my working life began. The next day I woke up around noon, completely missed worked.
I felt slightly sick to my stomach, kind of like after a night of heavy drinking but it went away after a few hours. My muscles were like silly putty, not the usual hard, tense muscles I normally knew but eventually they returned as the heroin completely left my system.
After a night like that I can see why this stuff is so addicting but it is not something I'm likely to do again. It was nice to have a temporary relief from the concerns of this life, a lot like living in this world but having no idea or care about how it works, not needing food, or a job, or a place to live or to ever go to the bathroom but still functioning. Yeah, for me heroin was exactly like that and a nice escape.
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