DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.3333 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:00	0.3333 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 2:00	0.3333 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 2:30	0.5 g	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

I'm 21 years old and had never done any other illicit drug other than marijuana until yesterday. None, not mushrooms, not salvia, none of the common drugs associated with youth-experimentation. I am a regular marijuana user, I do it with friends, I do it alone, daily. I never smoke before going out or going to work, it's something I am only comfortable doing knowing I have no responsibilities to worry about for the remainder of that day. This is important because it's something I took into account preparing my first ecstasy experience.

Two months ago I moved to a new city. This is my second time living on my own. The first time was a move from one side of my hometown to another side, also, it was into an apartment I'd been living in with my father for quite sometime, the rent was payed by him during my time there, and I really had very few financial responsibilities or burdens.

The second move was from Ontario, Canada, to Alberta, Canada. A bit more drastic. I moved alone, I knew two people in Calgary, one of whom helped me settle in for my first two weeks there, after which we got in an argument upon me moving out on my own. We no longer speak, nor do I speak to the other person I know here through associate and distaste via the first person mentioned. That episode isn't important regarding my emotional state at the time, I hold no regrets in ending ties with the person mentioned. I only mention it because by the time of my experience I was very bored and getting lonely. I had also decided to move back home. At the time of the experience I had four days left in Calgary. I was anxious to get home but also extremely comfortable with my decision to go back, and the ease with which I was preparing my departure.

During my first three or four weeks in Calgary I was unable to find marijuana, refusing to purchase off of street-dealers. Finally a new girl at work showed up, my age, a beacon of light. The topic of weed came up as it inevitably does among youth, I explained my frustration in trying to find some, she told me she could hook me up. Success. We set everything up and one Sunday I went to her place to pick-up. The guy wouldn't answer his phone, so we tried someone else they knew but had never picked up from. He arrived very late and I was very anxious to leave, everyone there was stoned and wreckless except for me. I payed, gave my co-workers a little bitty for their troubles, and left. The quarter seemed small, plus it was all one huge bud so I knew there was half a gram of stem in there if not more. That lasted a couple weeks and then was gone, so I called the dealer up again, arranging to meet at the same person's house again. I told him I wasn't happy with the count from the first purchase and would appreciate something extra, he told me he knew he had cut me short and fully intended on tossing me something more. I expected an extra gram of weed.

When I showed up at the place, the dealer had already left and my co-worker had payed for the weed with money I'd given her ahead of time. When I walked in she said to me 'Ummm, the guy gave you a tab of E'. I was shocked, I am rarely even in the presence of 'strong' drugs, and now I was in possession of some. I admitted to my friend that I was curious about it, then I rolled them a joint for their troubles and left. When I got home I began investigating the drug online, which led me to the tested pills library, I found the brand I'd acquired and was pleased to see the test had found it to be pure MDMA, but of course I knew these things weren't fool-proof and the pill could be fake or something.

It seems important to mention that I'm a very solitary and private person. In the past people have had trouble even getting me to leave my home, it's not that I am a depressed individual, I just prefer my own company and my own thoughts over interaction with others for the most part. Recently I have become much more ambitious and active, but I still felt that as a comfort-security, I should do the pill alone, at home.

I anxiously awaited a day where I had two consecutive days off work, which ultimately ended up being the day when my restaurant closed for the month of August. So, the day after my last day of work I went to the grocery-store and purchased some orange-juice, some Gatorade, some soft candy munchies (licorice, gum, etc.) and some oranges. I purchased these items in an assumption of what to expect gathered from experience reports and from what I'd heard from people I know regarding the E-xperience. I came home and tidied up, and made sure the place was well lit. My preparations were in vain, I wasn't nervous at all, until I cut the pill into thirds and stared at one third on my table for a few moments. It had crumbled when I cut it, so I swallowed my reservations and licked the broken pill off the (clean) table.

I waited, half an hour past and I felt a great desire to smoke, I smoked a cigarette, and then I smoked one more immediately after the first. I was sitting in front of my computer and felt restless so I moved to a comfy-chair and stared at the TV for awhile. It didn't entertain me and I noticed an hour had past and the only effect I'd noticed was a great desire to smoke. So I swallowed another third of the pill and did just that. I went outside and walked around and smoked non-stop. I looked for visual differences in my surroundings. I noticed a sign looked more vibrant and 3-dimensional against the clear blue sky than it normally would, but I assumed I was just trying to trick myself into believing something was happening. I'm not sure which is the case, but regardless, anything I was experiencing was almost undetectable.

There's a pond nearby, I decided to go check it out. There weren't too many people around, the ones that were present didn't bother me. I walked past a young-man with a dog, his dog had been swimming in the pool and was wet and smelly, but I didn't care and tried to pet him. The man called the dog, as they walked away the man struck his dog swiftly across the face as it leapt on him and licked him. I wasn't bothered by that, I thought about how unfortunate it was that some people see violence as a means of solving a dispute or means of teaching, but I wasn't bothered by the pain of the dog and experienced no sympathy, after all, the dog still seemed dumb and happy after being struck. I was sitting on a rock by the pond-side now, still wondering if I was experiencing it. Things seemed surreal but I think people have a tendency to convince themselves that things aren't quite the way they should be when they're not sure if they're experiencing a mind-altering state or not.

I stared at the water, the sun was unbearable, it was so strong and it reflected off the water, I couldn't look up, I couldn't look down. I shielded my eyes with my hand and noticed that the reflections playing off of it were just barely in my field of view. I thought about how bizarre that was, as if I was viewing my surroundings in widescreen. I noticed how clear the water was, it occurred to me that it was very likely that I was underwater and that underwater was above ground, only because of how clearly I could see everything under the water. I disregarded this notion quickly and decided that my thought-process was definitely altered, but that I wasn't experiencing anything incredible.

I smoked a lot of cigarettes, so much so that I had to go to the store to buy another pack. I'd brought the last third of the pill with me, and upon returning from the store I downed it. I went home because I felt that my pants were overwhelmed, my pockets were too full. I emptied them and rolled a pinner and left again. Being inside was unbearable, I would come home, chat on Messenger for 2 minutes, then leave again. As I went out for the second time I headed straight for a large soccer-field/playground across the street from the park with the pond, I smoked the pinner very fast and was incredibly high by the time I finished it. It was unlike the marijuana high I was used to. I generally feel lethargic, relaxed and creative when I'm stoned, the common traits. Now I felt a vibrant sense of belittled sobriety, as if I was sober, but had just woken up and was dazed, but not confused, I was quite alert and quite focused.

I decided immediately to go back to the pond as some change was now coming on. I think it was nearing 7pm at this point, I'd made the initial drop at 3:30pm and the two following drops one hour after another. I got to the pond and although I remember the euphoria I experienced, it's more like a distant and fogged memory than a clear one, of something that happened yesterday night. I remember sitting atop the stream which flowed down into the pond, I sat on a rock at the top of it right where the water left the ground, hit the rocks, and flowed down. It seemed loud, and the water was very rhythmic. I thought about how music should be more etheral, and then it seemed natural to me to start playing the piano over the rhythm of the water, in my head. I did that and it made me happy. I decided music was where my life was heading, succeed or fail, I wouldn't be happy doing anything else. Then I decided it would be smart to pursue an education in something while I wrote music. I decided cooking was the only other thing I enjoyed expressing myself creatively through. I sat there and smoked a lot of cigarettes.

I tried experimenting with touch as it's common-knowledge that ecstasy emphasizes the sense of touch, I felt a wide blade of grass. I rubbed my fingers down it and thought about how coarse it was, then I ran my fingers up it and thought about how soft it was. Nothing was bizarre or sensual about this, it seemed new to me, but not mindblowing. At this point I was stoned off the weed and it distorted the deliberation I was having over whether or not I was experiencing the ecstasy at all.

Eventually I went home. I had a great desire to do more ecstasy at that very moment since I was quite unsure if I'd fully experienced it or not. Nothing unusual occurred the rest of the evening. I stayed at home and lounged around, munching and smoking. The euphoria I experienced at the pond seemed to have lasted about an hour, at which point I came home and was stricken with a mild sense of boredom and depression, and then nothing.

I woke up this morning feeling groggy, as if I'd been drinking the night before but not in excess. The rest of the day has been very similar to the pattern of a mild hangover. Woke up exhausted and lethargic, no appetite, no real desire to do anything at all. Followed several hours later by a great sense of relaxation as the passing hours of the day wake me up and my alertness comes back. I experienced some loss of balance, I found myself not so much bumping into things a lot, but completely forgetting that things were where they are. I would simply walk into a chair, forgetting that it's always there. It's 2pm now, I awoke at 9:30am, and I now feel fine, better than usual almost. Great sense of relaxation.

I plan on trying ecstasy again, I've been told by one person that doing the pill in several small-doses diminishes it's effects. Next time I will try the same dose but do it all at once, and marijuana was definitely a nice seasoning for this drug so I'll probably try that combination again.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 55188
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 7, 2007	Views: 8,941
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Alone (16)