DOSE:

repeated

Heroin

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

The 15 Year Old Heroin Fiend.

I don't know what got me addicted to heroin so easily. Probably because of my disorders, I have bipolor disorder and borderline skitzoprenia. I've been on every single medication known to man, and none of them helped me except for heroin. My First real boyfriend gave me heroin last summer when I was 15. I had a bump and I was crashed. I felt like I was in heaven. All my problems went away, everything intrested me and I finally felt the way I have been searching to feel for my entire life.

My boyfriend and I became serious, and we became kinda like 'the junky couple' the couple thats always messed up on heroin. I felt uncomfortable about it because the fact I was so young..but when your crashed on heroin you dont seem to notice things like that. We sniffed the shit, and promised never to inject. We'd inject behind each others backs though, as long as the other didnt know it was fine. We copped everyday in queens. It was hard finding the money for the heroin, the gas, and making our way to queens EVERYDAY. I felt like my life is was going down the tubes. My family hated me. I was a school drop out. I felt miserable. This went on for about 5 months. My life was revolved around heroin and everyone knew. I was pushing about 2 bundles a day and sniffing all my profit. By the time I knew it, I had 0 dollers and I was dope sick. I went to detoxs two times. Both unsuccesfull. I would get high of methadone then put a sheet over the sink and smoke ciggarettes under it. Then I'd come home and get heroin. We call heroin 'homeboy' here. Homeboy was pretty much my only friend.

I gave my boyfriend money to cop for me in queens. I couldnt come because there wasnt enough from in the car. He never came back. When your boyfriend goes and cops for you and never comes back, you kinda think the worst things in your mind. He was set up and arrested with 3 felonys. Attempt to sell. Possesion. And fondling with evidence. He was caught with 26 e pills and 20 bags of heroin (2 bundles). He got a felony for putting the heroin in his mouth to try to swallow it so the cops wouldnt find it. He didnt have enough time. That was pretty much the main time of my addiction. Everyone was tellin me he'd be in jail for 3 years. I stuck to heroin, my only friend. I was pretty much in my own fantasy world the whole time he was in jail. There wasnt one seconed where I wasnt on heroin and I always made sure I'd have it in advance and that I'd never ever run out. It was at a point where I'd do a bundle and I wouldnt even get high... And I'm a small young girl! All the money I wasted....it was rediculous. When he came out of jail he was going to break up with me if I didnt stop. I lied to him many times because the stuff is so addicting. I had all my friends convinced I'd stopped but I still had a bundle a day habit. IDK how I pulled that one off. I recently cut down, and found myself sick again. Everyday is a never ending battle and I wonder if one day I will not be addicted anymore. Suboxone didnt help..nothing help. I think I may have an addiction for the rest of my life. I regret it, and I dont know if I will every stop. Heroin is a very evil drug and once I was addicted to it it never really ends and I feel like I will always have that craving for the rest of my life.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 55297
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 20, 2018	Views: 1,921
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Heroin (27) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Addiction & Habituation (10), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11)