Citation: Raghuffinglunatic. "A True Disassociative: An Experience with Ether (exp55333)". Erowid.org. Mar 2, 2009. erowid.org/exp/55333
Soon after I had begun my adventures into the realm of psychoactives, I stumbled upon one of the most unlikely and powerful highs I have experienced yet. One night my friend (let's call him 'B') and I were looking for something to get messed up on, and in my garage- we were hoping to find freon, being the morons we were- we ran across a bottle of diesel engine starter, which is basically diethyl ether. After looking this unfamiliar substance up (I was a beginner when it came to drugs, and I am still no expert), we were eager to try it.
I will skim through the less important experiences and try to focus on the more impactful ones. All my first experiences consisted of was getting really messed up, as the term 'messed up' explains the experience well enough. I felt a fairly intense high, which was felt very similar to that of nitrous, except more intense. My motor skills were definately impared, but I was surprised to find I could walk around if needed, I was just not capable of doing so in a straight line, to say the least. I was completely numb, and I remember punching myself to see if I could feel anything, only to find out that I could not. Trying to communicate became very difficult, as the ability to talk was definately impared. This high would arrive within 10-30 seconds of huffing and would continue for about 5-10 minutes (which seemed much longer than that) before fading away.
My latter experiences with this substance would prove to be much more intense. I do not know why there was such a different in my experiences, it might've been the level of concentration of ether within the diesel engine starter, or it might've been due to the way I was huffing. Anyway... a month or two after my first experiences with ether, my friend obtained another container of diesel engine starter. Once again we headed off to my bathroom (to keep my room from smelling like a gas station, although I bet it did anyways). We would huff for what seemed to be hours (although it probably amounted to 15-30 minutes, which is still quite long).
Unlike my previous experiences, where I would just have a warm, fuzzy, and completely numb euphoria, there was something different. Now I would drift off into worlds deep inside my mind. It seemed like this ether was the key to untouched realities and alien worlds I had never even come close to imagining before in my life. No, this was not like your ordinary psychedelic where you have intense visual hallucinations, these were all in my head. This 3D reality would simply melt away, as I would disappear into a disassociative state of continuing circular thought patterns and other realities I could not possibly comprehend. All I know is that I would leave this world completely and end up somewhere else, only to return 30 minutes later.
One time after B and I huffed I came up with the name 'Jesus Rain,' as it seemed like God had given this substance to man in order to reach the heavens. Huffing with B was quite hilarious because I could sometimes watch myself move back and forth uncontrollably as my body was numbed completely. In essance, I was completely removed from my physical form.
The most intense experience I have had with ether (and probably the most intense experience I have ever had on a drug) was one of my last experiences with the substance. My friend and I went to my bathroom to huff once more, and after a while he decided to stop because he had had enough. But I did not. This time I was going to push the envelope... and I did. I must've been in that bathroom huffing for 30 minutes or more before I stumbled out of the bathroom and fell on the floor next to where B was laying down laughing uncontrollably (or at least that is what I am told). What I experienced was something that probably every serious psychonaut experiences at least once: confrentation with death.
After a while of huffing I had returned to the magical plateau that I was becoming very familiar with, until I reached a new plateau. This was much more intense than ever before, as I was TOTALLY detached from my body and was beyond any realm I had experienced before. This was total disassociation. At this point I knew I had two choices: put the rag down and stop huffing or leave my physical form for good (death). But it was too late. I felt I was dying, and I began to drift into the tunnel of light that is said to be the gateway to heaven by those who have near-death experiences. I remember accepting my death, as I felt I was returning to my long-lost home. It was a feeling of unmeasurable joy. Little did I know that I am opening my bathroom door when I feel like I am entering 'heaven,' and it is only when I fall to the floor when I realize I am not dying. I start laughing uncontrollably, and for no reason. I don't know whether that was a valid near-death experience, but it was surely an impactful experience that I will not soon forget.
I tried Ether with Marijuana a few times, and I would not recommend combining the two drugs for two reasons: (1) it could prove to be dangerous, and (2) it made the experience just a bit too intense. To explain why it could be a dangerous combo, huffing ether inside is dangerous in itself because it is so flammable (I have read that even electrical devices in your room could ignite ether), and huffing ether and then going out for a smoke is obviously NOT a good idea (if you don't wait a while you could basically explode!!). And ether and pot is just too powerful of a combination, it was just too intense.
Overall, I find ether is a very powerful substance. And after all my experiences with ether, I can safely say that it is in fact a true disassociative, instead of just being an extremely powerful inhalent. Ether completely rips my mind from my body and sends me to another dimension. I wouldn't consider it to be an introspective tool, as it leaves me too confused and stupified for that, and the uncontrollable and never-ending circular thought patterns (which is a big part of the experience) is enough to confuse anyone.
Although I had a lot of good times with ether, and a few very powerful experiences, I would not recommend trying ether. It is as dangerous as it is potent. Not only am I risking blowing my hole house up by huffing it, it does a lot of damage to my brain and nervous system. I felt after-effects for a period of three to four months after stopping ether, which consisted of circular thought patterns and fairly insane ideas that would creep into my mind for a small period of time (oddly enough this would persist at nearly the same time every day for those 3-4 months), and I only tried ether about 8-10 times. I have heard of much more terrifying after effect of those who have used ether much more than I did. So I am cautioning those who are interested in ether to look somewhere else for an ultimate euphoria or a disassociative experience.
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