Citation: Abbie. "The Most Regrettable Feeling I Have Ever Felt: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) & Alcohol (exp55544)". Erowid.org. Mar 9, 2009. erowid.org/exp/55544
I want to start off by saying that this experience as I think back to it was the worst feeling and most terrifying experience that I have ever had in my life.
It was late and I was drunk at a small cabin party when I went outside to get a smoke from some friends who were sitting in a small 2 door car so for some reason I went in the car and they asked me if I would like to smoke some Salvia so only thinking that it would fuck me up for 1 minute or so I said 'sure, whynot?'. I had smoked Salvia earlier that year but I hadn't been drinking and it was only 10x. My past experiences had been short and amusing so I figured that this one would just be a little more intense, but I had NO idea what I was in for.
They handed me back the pipe and held the torch for me and I inhaled until it was no longer possible a numerous amount of times.
Then right away it hit me, this crazy feeling.
A terrifying feeling of being trapped
in this other world forever.
I tried to get out of the car but it was locked and they wouldn't let me leave. They were no longer my friends but evil bastards who were trying to capture me and take me into there world forever. Finally after only God knows how long I escaped to the great outdoors still feeling completly fucked. I needed to use the washroom so I walked up to the outhouse and then suddenly I got this feeling of not being in my body as if I could see me but I could not think like me. And at that moment I KNEW that I would never be the same again. My whole perception on life had changed and I had felt like I no longer existed. I watched my body walk to the washroom and back again. THen I went to my bestfriend searching for love and reassurance that I would once again return to my normal and loving self but unstead he told me that I was stupid for doing it. After that I felt absolutly completely detached from not just myself but everybody. The only thing that I could think that could possibly help was if I layed down in a quiet room for a while and hopefully the feeling would wear off. I don't exactly know how long it took but the just of it finally wore off and I was back in my body.
I went to my friends at about 5 in the morning still quite drunk and I went to sleep. I woke up the next day and felt like a new person but still sort of detached from everything but enough that I could handle. I am so glad that my out of body experience didn't last like I knew it would before forever, I love my life!
It has been months from this experience and still things remind me of it and take me back to that terrible night. And still everytime I see that couple who offered me the Saliva I think of how evil they are and how they are trying to take me to their world.
Please know that what I have just written is just some of how I felt that night and the other stuff that I felt in the car was way too messed up to even try and write down, but I can say from past experiences of shrooms and other drugs that Salvia was definitely the most terrifying most detached feeling that I will ever feel and I definitely never want to feel like that again.
If that feeling did last then I would probably not be here right now, well actually that is what the feeling was like, just not living anymore and knowing that I would never be able to connect with anyone ever again.
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