Citation: enlightened. "To Exist...: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp55943)". Erowid.org. Oct 18, 2006. erowid.org/exp/55943
Itís been a few months now since I last left this universe. And though I readily advocate this experience too all whom I deem of able body and mind, I must admit there is an overwhelming tension that arises in me, about re-entering this realm. This is not however the familiar tension of the dentistís chair or the one from the morning of a final exam, but a humbling sort of tension, one that brings with it questions of worthiness: Am I ready? Can I handle it? What will I ask it when I am their?
When I decide to submit myself to this power I must be of calm mind and pure intention, otherwise I will be chewed up and rejected. Thrill seekers be warned, though intense and amazing, I can never use it for entertainment. I must bring with me a sober friend to act as my anchor to reality should I journey too deeply inward and leave the body completely. As my consciousness takes its field trip into the unknown, the electrical impulses left in the physical form can become the puppeteer to potential harm.
The door to unfathomable experience is a remarkably easy one to open, once in possession of the key. Even stepping in and shutting it behind me proves to be an all too easy procedure given the potential consequences. But the journey inward is something that can never be prepared for. At first I begin to feel an expanded awareness and excitement rush over my body. Then suddenly and inexplicably it all condenses into a single point. This point is the breakdown. The freight-train into the unknown. Itís the end of time, space and every other constraint brought about by our boxed in constructs of reality. Itís a squeegee to my cumulative knowledge of existence (experience), and the collapse of ego.
Imagine the experience of birth, in which every sensation is foreign I must learn again how to exist. I remain a conscious entity, though the distinction between 'I' and the universe is blurred. What once was the material world is has turned into a kaleidoscope of incomprehensible imagery. The experience of three dimensions is dissolved and I become part of a vast landscape of unimaginable existence. There is a being in this realm, or perhaps the being is this realm. Up to this point I have been completely paralyzed. But soon, I start learning to interact with this dimension. There is a sensation that what is happening is something that is beneficial. I soon learned to go with the flow of energy and take in all the things that it has to teach me.
Soon the imagery slows down and my brain starts regaining function. I remember who I am and how I got there. After stepping back to Earth, I have about 15 minutes to allow this power to leave you. 'I' am me again. But thereís something more. Perception of reality has been enhanced in a way words can not do justice. Within the hour all function is fully regained and the constraints of the classical world comeback, but not fully. For days after my first experience with the divinorum an over-glow of possibility encompassed my world view. I will use this journey again. It will always be something I carry with me as a spiritual ally.
To all who discover this ally for themselves I ask that you always treat it with respect. Its effects our inescapably personal, so be sure you're ready. In the wrong state of mind I could see this experience being perceived as negative, at worst, a psychotic break. Also our society is a long way from being able to accept practitioners of shamanism. Fear and dogma could destroy this cultigen in a second should it show up on their radar. So please share Sage of the Divine only with people of an open mind, never administer upon an unwitting or unready individual and keep its existence away from the ears of troughs who wish to schedule away our freedoms. Most importantly remember to enjoy lifeís journey and be safe.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.