DOSE:

1 hit

smoked

Salvia divinorum

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

I was planning on being a sitter for my roommate and not doing any myself. I wanted to see how she reacted to it before I did it, just in case it was really bad for her. We were sitting in our living room, she in a chair and me on the couch, and there was no music or tv on. We were just sitting there, with nothing to stimulate us.

She smoked the reccomended dose on the package out of a bong and felt nothing, so she smoked the reccomended dose again. Then she said like she felt she was being pulled sideways and said she felt 'weird.' We waited for about fifteen minutes and she said nothing much happened and she felt disappointed.

I asked if she'd mind if I tried it, and she said to go ahead. So I took about a dose and a half. Immediately I felt as if I were being pulled backward and I laughed at how it felt. Then immediately all these thoughts came to mind: I'm so ugly that everyone who sees me feels sorry for me, that when people look at my shoes they cringe because they would hate to be the ones wearing them, that when my nose runs people become uncomfortable because they can vividly imagine what it would be like to be inside my body, and they realize how horrible it would be to be so ugly. I knew I was spinning out and I was sweating, especially my feet and hands, and I felt like crying. If I closed my eyes the thoughts were worse so I kept them open. After about ten minutes all the effects wore off and I felt back to normal.

I used to be able to smoke weed and just have a good time (listen to music, feel a weird sense of time passing, laugh a lot, etc) but after a year or so of smoking it a couple times a week I started to become really paranoid and shaky each time I did it. I finally had to stop because it made me suicidally depressed and shake and stay awake all night. I didn't think the Salvia experience would be the same because I had read accounts online before of it being a mystical and positive experience, and this was what I had in mind when I tried it. I was going to try mushrooms but now I don't think I will because it seems like I convert every drug experience into a paranoid panic attack where I project all kinds of elaborate ideas about being ugly onto the world around me. I don't think like this when I'm 'sober' or not on drugs...I don't think about my looks at all, actually, and I'm pretty happy most of the time.

I was very disappointed in the experience of taking Salvia but I don't think it's the drug, I think there's just some reason that I obsess over being ugly every time I try drugs in the past year. I wish I knew what it was!

PS This Salvia was legal and bought at a pipe store in San Francisco over the counter.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56044
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 10, 2019	Views: 557
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)