Citation: Prosperity. "Newfound Nirvana: An Experience with Cannabis (exp56319)". Erowid.org. Feb 11, 2007. erowid.org/exp/56319
This happened to me yesterday and I strongly believe I tripped but some people are telling me that I didn't. After you finish reading, form your own opinion. Before I get into the actual trip, let me give you a little background information. I got caught with weed six months ago after having been smoking heavily for about eight months and have been getting randomly drug tested since. I decided to risk getting caught this time because my dad was out of town and my mom was busy with work so she probably wouldn't notice. I had only smoked tobacco a few times and gotten drunk twice since I got caught.
I had been craving a weed high everyday since I had gotten caught. All of my friends were still smoking everyday like I used to and life just seemed dull to me. On this day the circustances were perfect and the risk of getting caught was minimal because I had gotten drug tested a few weeks ago and I was doing good in school. So, I decided to do it.
I met my friend H about an hour before school started. He had brung his bong just for me and I was anxious to get started. I had meditated the night before to rid all of the fears of getting caught out of my body. I wanted to enjoy this high without fear or distractions. So we started walking towards an alley near campus. We wanted to stay relatively close to campus so that we could spend as much time smoking before we had to go back to school. After about five minutes we found a decent spot and sat down. He had a little bit of weed left in his bowl so he finished that off and began packing another one. The weed was very compressed so it took him a while to break it apart. Finally he had a bowl packed into the bong stem and he let me hit the greens.
I had never hit out of a bong before so I asked him how. He said to put my mouth on it, suck in, let the water bubble for a few seconds, blow whatever little bit of smoke I had in my mouth out, pull out the stem, and clear it. So I did what he had instructed but ended up having to clear a hit in two hits. They were pretty big hits considering his bong was about two feet tall.
After we finished the bowl, I was starting to feel a little buzz. I was feeling relaxed and I felt my eyelids swelling and rolling over my eyes as they had in the past. I figured that this was it, that I was high and that soon I would be at school laughing and showing all my smoking pals how high I was. H began to pack another one but we were feeling a little paranoid beacuse we had heard a car pull out of a drive way. I told him this was a bad spot and H said that he didn't like this spot either so we proceeded to the alley across the street where I used to smoke everyday before classes.
It was obvious that H was high because as we crossed the street, he did nothing to conceal his pink two-foot bong. He just had it in his hand and as cars passed by, he just waved and said, 'Hows it goin?' He had smoked a few bowls of the bong by himself already at his house before he came so it didn't suprise me.
After moving to a couple diffrent places we found the perfect spot. It was shady and concealed and I felt comfortable. There were also many trees around. So we sat and began to finish the bowl. H was tryig to help me with my hitting technique, according to him I was barely even hiting it. As I took another 'weak-ass hit', I noticed that everything was changing. The tree that was directly in front of me began to look diffrent and all the leaves look identical. The tree looked like something out on a video game with excellent grapics viewed on an High Definition television. All the leaves were perfectly simmetrical and were a vibrantly beautiful shade of green.
Somewhere between the second an third bowl, I had this profound thought. I was no longer my old self. My new 'true self' was looking at my 'old self' and what I had become. I was disgusted. I saw myself as this confused kid who had decided to do drugs for no apparent reason and had quickly become an addict. After he was caught, he spent everyday of his life dwelling on the fact that he couldn't get high and he spent every free thought thinking about ways to be able to get high.
As I watched this experience (my experience) from the start of my journey with drugs up until five minutes ago when I took that first hit in the alley, I felt incredible sorrow for this poor kid. When I realized it was me, a wave of depression swept over me. I was disgusted with what I had become and where life was taking me. When I say that I was watching this, I mean that I acutually saw it happen. Suddenly, I heard H's voice and returned to the present time.
H had loaded up the bong with smoke and covered the top. 'Here, take all this smoke in one h it. I loaded it up for you,' he said. 'Hold on, let me finish.' 'Finish what?' he asked. 'This thought,' I said calmly. So, I finished my thought, and when I was back to the present time, I realized that I had actually traveled through time and watched what I used to be, what I am now, and what I will become. I felt very sad at this point and was completely immersed in my thoughts, I had no idea what was going on around me in the 'real world', so when H asked me to clear the bong, I just opened mouth down and inhaled.
I took a huge suck and cleared all the smoke out. 'Thats a hit,' said H as he chuckled. As I inhaled all the smoke that was in the bong into my lungs, a strange feeling came over me. It felt like the smoke was going into different levels of my body. I felt as though this hit had reached a lower portion of my body which hadn't been accesed before. It was very strange. I also heard a shrill buzzing noise that persisted until all of the smoke was out. I assume that this was my bodys way of telling me that my lungs were full of smoke and that it hurt, but I was fried and pain was a figment of my imagination.
In retrospect, it was probably the biggest hit I had ever taken. Up until then, I had only smoked out of joints and pipes. After blowing all of the smoke out, in two breaths, I knew something strange was happening. The tree that I had been looking at before looked even more crisp and animated and everything appeared to be like a highly digitalized computer graphic. Think animated disney movies like 'Finding Nemo' or 'A Bug's Life'. I looked at H and his green eyes looked incredibly bright next to the electric blue sky. 'You look like a cartoon,' I said.
This did not frighten me or make me happy, but I knew that this was not normal. I also noticed that H had this aura about him that I had never noticed before. He looked like a completeley diffrent person and I saw him for who he really was, a low life drug addict. Mine and H's relationship is a strange one. I only had one class with him last year and before I knew that he smoked weed, I didn't like him at all. Through a mutual friend, I found out that he smoked and from then on until I got we were smoking partners. The only thing we have in common is drugs so that doesn't give us much to talk about seeing as how I don't smoke anymore. He smokes a lot more than I did when I was using heavily and is somewhat of an addict. He claims to have done all of the drugs that I can name off to him, which are quite a few. He says he does coke about twice a month and claims that he used to be a big coke fiend.
After seeing him in this new light, I felt as though I had no reason to be around such a person and I immediately stood up and said, 'I'm done.' H giggled and told me to chill out and that we still had twenty minutes until school started. I didn't care, all I knew is that something big was about to happen to me and that and that I needed to get out of there as soon as possible because it was not the right setting.
I was starting to feel slightly nauseous and a bit paranoid. As I looked to my right towards the street through which we had entered, I saw and heard a blue car revving its engine and flashing its headlites at us. It looked and sounded real and I pointed it out to H. He cried out in laughter and said 'Your tripping out dude!' I did not find this funny and proceeded to tell him that it was there and that we had to go before we got caught. I reached towards my backpack to grab the clean shirt I had brought and my cologne, and found this incredibly difficult. Everything was spinning and waving and my eyes felt like they were being split in half at the pupils. H told me later that it took me about ten minutes before I was ready to leave and that I was saying random shit the entire time.
So I finally got all cleaned up and we were ready to go. I'm not sure what H did with his bong. I think he might have put it in a duffel bag that he found in the alley or something. We were walking in the opposite direction from which we had come because it was faster to get to school that way. At the end of the alley there was a fence and I immediatley felt terror racing down my spine. I have had bad experiences with fences. Me and H had gotten drunk about a month ago and I was so plastered the I had fallen off of the fence, chest-first into the dirt and not felt anything. All I had the next day were some bruises so there was no real harm done but I had no intent of re-living that experience. H cleared the fence and made it look easy so I figured I could do it to. I jumped onto it and reached the top, then I looked down at the ground infront of me and it looked like I was 100 feet in the air. In retrospect, my depth perception must have been totally fucked because this fence is about five feet tall.
Anyway, it took a few tries, but with H's help, I got over the fence and we began our journey across the street and onto campus. The only thing I remember about this short walk, is that when the masses of high-schoolers congregating outside of school were within view, H said,'Damn dude, look at all those people.' I muttered somthing in reply, it was hard to talk because of the terrible cotton mouth, and he said 'I'm really high,' and let out a howl of laughter. This wasn't funny to me though, because I was no longer high, I was tripping and to me there is nothing funny about the peak of an intense trip like this one.
I don't quite remember how me and H got separated. I asked him later on and he told me that he stopped to talk to one of his friends and I had just kept walking. I was in somewhat of a trance and was so immersed in my thoughts that I had no idea were I was or what was happening around me. By this time, I was completely numb and my body felt as though it was emmersed in gelatin. I couldn't even tell if my mouth was open or not. Someone told me the next day that I kept opening and closing it.
I had to stop at the bathroom twice before I got to my class, why I don't know. I just felt as though, the first bathroom I was in wasn't right, so I had to go to another one. Each time I stopped, I tried to get into my backpack and get my eyedrops and was unsuccesful. H told me that he saw me coming out of the first bathroom and that I looked like a zombie. As I wandered through the halls, I noticed all of these ridculous fads that people were following and they seemed stupid. I can't really describe it, but I just noticed things that people did that were unnatural and were done simply for the sake of popularity.
Somehow, I found my way to class and sat down. As soon as I took my seat, the person sitting next to me began to laugh. He knew I was on something because I had came to school drunk the week before and told him what I was on. On this day however, he looked completely diffrent and I barely recognized him so when he asked me what was wrong, I said something like 'I stayed up studying for a test.' I guess he bought it because he didn't say anything else to me the entire class.
By this time, it was impossible to keep my eyes open because everything was spinning. Things had no longer lost their crispness and eveything was just spinning. This spinning made me very nauseous and although all I had eaten was a hotpocket, I knew I was going to throw up. If felt like my mind was on acid, my body was super stoned, and my eyes and my stomach felt like I was piss drunk. The kid sitting in the table across from me knew something was up with me too becuase he kept looking over me and laughing or making funny faces to trip me out. It seemed like he was reading my mind, becuase I would see one of the faces that he was about to make in my head and I would look up and he would be making it. I had my head down the whole time and was taking big deep breaths.
This is where things got really intense. I wasn't able to open my eyes because my eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds and if I stopped taking huge breaths of air, I would throw up in my mouth. I could see all of these strange figures and colors in my eyelids/head and I could process thoughts with so much clarity. I kept hearing this strange voice in my head that was saying HIGHER HIGHER over and over again.
I thought about the meaning of life, love, friendship and everything seemed so clear. I could feel my heart rate rising and rising as I ventured deeper and deeper into my mind. During this period, I realized that there are many forms of existence. First, I was in this place that was just a swirl of colors but I could still think. Then I moved onto a place where it was still just colors but they made shapes and figures that were somewhat distinguishable. All this time I could still think.
When my heartrate got to a dangerous point or would get too nauseous, I would see my mothers face pop up and would instantly feel comforted. After the figures existence phase, I was in this tunnel and was speeding through it and just seeing squiggly things on either side of it. Finally, I came bak to this reality, still with my eyes closed, and I could see things much clearer. I wasn't in the present time though, I was having flashbacks of significant dreams that I had in my life.
This enitre time, that HIGHER HIGHER voice was still resounding and I had so much clarity in my thoughts. I was no longer afraid of death and I felt like I understood the meaning of life. I was sweating bullets and when I would breifly come out of these diffrent realities/dimensions, I had sweat dripping down my face. Occasionaly, I would throw up in my mouth without even realize it, and just swallow it thinking it was saliva. I think that the sweat and vomiting was caused by my body releasing all of these fears and misunderstandings I had about life from my body and concious.
The depression that I had felt earlier when I saw how pathetic I was for having a life that revolved around getting high, was replaced with a clear concious and I no longer felt that I needed to get high. I felt so relieved that I could get back to living life and I felt so enlightened for knowing that death was just another part of life and that humanity was just a short stop on out journey through exsitence.
While I was flying through these diffrent dimensions, a girl in my class who I barely knew walked by me and as she passed, she ran her hand down my spine and I could feel her breasts running across my neck. I'm not sure if I hallucinated it or if it really happened. Anyway, it felt amazing, like a full-body orgasm.
About an hour had passed since class started and the teacher was starting to notice that there was something wrong with me. By now, the english language seemed like a foreign form of communication so I barely recognized my name when she called to me, but I was able to raise my head and ask her what she wanted. She told me I looked pale and should go to the nurse. I complied, and said that I wasn't feeling very well. So I got up from my chair and walked towards the door. I must not have been walking very well becuase, after a few steps my teacher ask who would like to accompany me to the nurse. Immediately, the girl who had rubbed me earlier piped in and said she wanted to so me and her made our way to the nurses office. I came very close to vomiting on my way there but she was really attractive so I didn't want to embarress myself. We didn't talk, she just told me to try to walk in a straight line.
We got to the nurse and she asked what was wrong. I told her we had been doing an experiment involving gas during class and that the gas made me light headed. She bought it. So I made my way to the bed and layed down. I had a deep sleep for about fifteen minutes and when I woke up she was standing over me asking me how I felt. I said better. I had come down now and I just felt a normal high. She told me I looked pale and that she wanted to take my blood pressure and heart rate. I complied and when she was doen she said, 'Oh my.' 'What is it?' I responded. 'Your blood pressure and heart rate are extremely high. We need to get you to a hospital.' Oh shit, I thought. I asked her how high it was and she said that she had the right not to give me that infomation.
I began yelling WHY WHY WHY at her. She looked at me and told me not to be disrespectful and called the monitors in to scold me. They did and I apologized. She took my blood pressure again and I watched this time to see what it was. I saw 190 and I knew that was really high and I'm sure my heart rate was somewhere in the hundreds. She said it was going down a bit and asked me how I felt. I told her better and she said that she would call my mom and then take it one more time to make sure it was still going down. She went to the phone and dialed my cell phone number (lucky me). I was still high so I answered the phone and heard her ask for my dad. I figured she was a telemarketer for some reason and said 'please don't call here anymore' and hung up. It wasn't until later that I realized it was her who called. She came back, told me no one was answering, took my blood pressure and cut me loose.
The rest of my high was spent in the computer lab listening to music and watching the visuals on windows media player. This took me back into those strange existences and galaxies as before, but I came out of them becuase I felt as though I had learned enough for one day and didn't want to pass out again.
Thanks to this trip/high I no longer feel the need to acheive and altered state. I feel as though we have a lot of diffent types of existences and that since this one is the clearest one, I should spend as much time in it as possible. I am also not scared of death and have new religious beliefs. I don't plan on smoking weed anymore. I would like to do shrooms sometime later in life just to see how much further into my psyche I can get, but for now, I am perfectly satisfied with the newfound nirvana I have acheived thanks to the healing herb.
Peace and Prosperity
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