Fullfillment?
Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora)
Citation: Emcee frosty-frost. "Fullfillment?: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) (exp56749)". Erowid.org. Jan 23, 2007. erowid.org/exp/56749
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
1 glass | oral | Ayahuasca | (liquid) |
T+ 1:40 | 0.5 glasses | oral | Alcohol - Beer/Wine | (liquid) |
T+ 2:00 | smoked | Cannabis | (plant material) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 145 lb |
[time is measured in minutes]
T=0: I swallow the tea in two large gulps, it tastes very bitter so I mask it by sucking a lemon. I am in a dark room with my brother, who is much more experienced than I am with the drug, he sips it over the course of a half hour.
T=10: As always when I take the drug my stomach becomes immediately queasy. For some reason I am convinced I will not trip.
T=20: To soothe the come-up I get the guitar out and begin to play music, almost immediately the notes become 3-dimensional and immerse me. I become the music, my brother becomes the music.
T=30: My brother has finished his dose and is beginning to feel it, rather, I am beginning to feel as though he can feel it. I play the guitar more, singing my favorite songs to play (Karma Police, Styrofoam Boots, Third Planet, and Float On. Yeah, lots of Modest Mouse). I feel like the music could be so much more if my brother would sing along and as soon as the thought crosses my mind he begins singing.
T=45: The body feeling is peaking, I know the purge will come soon so I leave my brother in the room and walk downstairs. Sitting on the sofa I begin to feel awful, my hands begin to swell, my nose begins to run and my mouth starts watering: I am about to purge myself so I move to the toilet. I sit there, knowing that soon it will be over and this horrible pain across my whole body will disappear and the world will be new once again. I wait, but nothing comes. The pain is excruciating and I am sweating and sobbing, wishing for it to leave but it won't yet.
T=60: My muscles, joints, eyes, everything I feel with utmost detail, however, it is all pain. No matter what I do I cannot force the purge. I am beginning to think that this is death, that my body is dying and that my spirit is going to force its way out and into the ethereal world, leaving me like this forever. Then it comes: it is forgiving. As vomit wrenches my body I am literally thrown forward as every last bit of substance from my stomach is purged. My sinuses unclog and mucus runs out of my mouth and nose and eyes. I still feel horrible. I cry more and feel old uncried tears finally escape. I am finished with this part, now it is time for the rest.
I begin to clean up and evacuate my bladder and bowels. I have been given the ability to move muscles I didnt know I could and am positive that all the waste in my body is gone. I feel absolutely pure and as I clean the residual vomit and mucus from my face I am embraced by the world. All of a sudden the experience has changed from the most horrible sickness of my life to the most peaceful feeling I have ever had. I walk outside and can do nothing but look up at the night sky and cry with joy.
T=100: Two of my friends have joined me and I am being unusually positive. I decide that it is ok to drink one beer as it just feels right. After halfway I feel the alcohol and am done drinking (which is very odd on account of I usually drink 5 beers to feel the alcohol). I think to myself that I would like to smoke some herb and as soon as I have the thought my brother comes down and says 'It's in my jacket pocket'.
T=120: The marijuana taste so good, it feels like I am inhaling healing smoke into my lungs and I don't feel so much 'stoned' as pleasant and more comfortable.
The rest of the experience was uneventful and irritating. As with the other ayahuasca experiences I have done the pleasantness fades and I start having internal dialogues which become VERY irritating after awhile because it turns from conversation to thoughts like 'Now I am wishing that I wasn't thinking about everything I'm doing' and shortly thereafter 'Oh I did it again, I wish I would stop' and so on until I am so fed up with myself that I just want to sleep, which I did.
In retrospect it was positive overall, but will be my last experience as I cannot handle the internal dialogue anymore. I honestly wanted to drill into my skull to make my brain shut up.
A warning to those of you considering ayahuasca: IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU DO RECREATIONALLY, I cannot express this enough. Literally everything that happened to me that month came forward in my experience. I had planned for it weeks in advance and still don't think I was fully prepared.
With that I will let you go!!
good luck and safe trips
Exp Year: 2006 | ExpID: 56749 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jan 23, 2007 | Views: 19,565 |
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Huasca Combo (269), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Syrian Rue (45) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), Health Benefits (32), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1) |
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