Citation: Meta. "Black Hole: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp57160)". Erowid.org. Jun 30, 2009. erowid.org/exp/57160
Salvia: My Experience November 4, 2006
Yesterday morning I decided I would like to try some Salvia again. I had tried it before with little to no effect. So, I went down to the local smoke shop and purchased some 10x to try. Early in the day I tried a little mixed with a small amount of marijuana in my vaporizer. The effects were mild, but better than what I had tried before. As before, my legs felt heavy. Decided to lie down to enjoy the experience. Colors and designs would dance before my closed eyes, and some strange body sensations that were not at all disturbing. In short, it was a nice, yet short lived experience.
Later the same day I decided to try a little more. My wife wants nothing to do with it so I took it outside to my shed to try it. I am by myself and thought that all the hype about having a “sitter” was just overkill. To appreciate what happened I think it is important to understand my setting. The shed I was in is eight feet by eight feet, and is divided exactly in half by a wall and sliding door. The half I was seated in has a workbench that takes up almost half of the remaining space, with only enough room to open the door. There is just enough room for me to sit on a small stool. It is not really cramped, but just enough room for one person to sit comfortably, similar to the amount of room you might have in the passengers seat of a car.
So I tried to follow the recommendations given from various websites on how to use it. I got a torch lighter and filled it. It was already dark, except for one light that was mostly blocked off from black plastic hanging down. I didn’t have a sitter, didn’t think I would need one. I carefully arranged everything for easy access and use. Put my little wooden stool in front of the door and got myself comfortably seated with my back leaning against the door, then proceeded to fill the water pipe with salvia. I didn’t use very much, maybe less than 1/10th of a gram. I remember sitting there watching the flame ignite the salvia and thinking I have to get it good and hot. After inhaling deeply and finishing a decent pull on the water pipe, I watched the bowl of hot embers move away from my face more less on it’s own, and thinking, “I still have enough for one or two more pulls.”
I “came to” sort of, lying on the floor of the shed. Except I was not on the floor of the shed. It was dark, extremely dark, and I had no idea where I was, or what was going on. I tried moving, but felt as if I were being restrained by a blanket or something. Being claustrophobic, this added to my rapidly accelerating fear and confusion. I also felt as if I were being pulled down further into this darkness. At first it seemed like the darkness itself was doing pulling. Then I started hearing voices. The voices were muffled at first and I could only make out a word here and there. As the voices continued, they became more and more clear. As the voices became more clear so did the force of darkness pulling me down. The darkness began to form into arms and hands that were pulling my legs into this darkness. My mind was racing to figure out what was going on. In the midst of this struggle that I felt was a struggle for either my life or my soul, I was still able to conduct rational thought.
Though initially after “waking” I was 100% lost. Not knowing where I was, what was going on, and who was doing it. As cognition returned, I was able to recall some of what had just happened. I knew I had just smoked salvia, I knew where I was, or at least where I was supposed to be, and this did not look like the place. As cognition returned, the confusion increased as well. I now saw some light. I was still struggling with not getting pulled down into that darkness by those dark hands and arms. With one arm looped around the heavy 4x4 post that was the leg of the workbench, I reached out with the other arm towards the light. When I did that, it felt as if I were being jerked even harder and that THEY were trying all the harder. Their voices were getting more and more clear now as well. I could hear clearly what they were saying. Things like, “Don’t let him get away.” “He is slipping.” , and “Grab hold”. Whatever these things were, they meant business. It was strange too because I could not feel the lower half of my body except for those black foggy arms pulling on me.
When I finally was able to get into a position to hold on and reach for that light again, I pulled back what looked like a door to reveal a blinding white light. Then I saw, what looked like some small black berry bushes about one foot tall. How could this be? I am struggling to be released from this darkness, and above me plants are growing. Yet I know I am in this shed, and everything has changed. The more I tried to convince myself everything was okay….really okay, the more confused I got. I was just sitting on my stool, how the hell did I get here, and where in the hell is HERE?? And, why the hell are these assholes trying to take me away. The struggle to get away from these beings became more intense, and their resolve and determination to suck me into their abyss was becoming more and more desperate. It is weird that as my awareness of where I was returned, the intensity and realism of these beings also increased.
I am not a cowardly person, but I considered just letting them take me, to see where it was they wanted to take me. And maybe these were good people that were actually trying to help me. The thought occurred to me that if I let them take me, I would never return and determined then to not let them take me. As soon as I thought that, things started changing. First, instead of being pulled through the floor, now I was being pulled through the walls of the shed. The wooden walls had turned to a sort of flexible sheet that would bend and tear and mend itself. A couple of times they had me in as deep as my chest, but somehow I was able get out again. Then I was under my bed at home, and it was my mother, father, and wife who were trying to pull me out. I have watched enough horror flicks to have the sense to not go with these impersonators. Where they were trying to take me was not a place I had ever been, and they meant me no good. In the effort to pull me out from under that bed, I felt no pain, but at times felt as if my body were being doubled in two. During this whole struggle, I kept looking back at the light. The light was my only hope.
During the fight I was able to reach toward that light several times. In doing so I had grasped the “edge of my world”. I knew if I could reach that and hang on, I could at least last till someone could help me. In my mind, I had somehow rationalized the whole shed was getting pulled underground and that light was outside the shed. After more struggle that seemed to last 20-30 minutes, I was able to work my face up close to the light. I saw what I thought were blackberry bushes about 18” from my face. I struggled from a prone on my back position to a sitting position. At this point rationality began to return. I was still in the shed. Blackberries were actually some other plants I had growing in there under lights. And the light was exactly that, the light for the plants.
I am not sure what was real and what was not. This much I am convinced of. I believe in people and I believe in spirits, i.e., ghosts, demons, angels and such. Just like there are good and bad people, there are good and bad spirits. If it is true that this plant can lead you into the spirit world, then it is also true that bad things can happen there. I am not going to say I will never do that again, but if I do, I will do it a lot differently next time. The whole experience could not have lasted more than 5 minutes, though it seemed like forever. When I went back inside the house after about ten minutes, no one had a clue as to what I had just done.
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