Citation: elle. "The Hallucinations Were Very Real: An Experience with MDMA (exp57208)". Erowid.org. Aug 17, 2018. erowid.org/exp/57208
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 3:00
||(powder / crystals)
MDMA & Hallucinations?
My sister and I are not regular users but we like to take ecstasy and MDMA occasionally if attending a big gig. We went to Daft Punk this Summer 06 and made efforts to source some of either of the above for the big event - however, there was a shortage of traditional pills and MDMA powder and our supplier gave us MDMA which was in crystal rock form. It was broken up, dusty pale brown colour, some of the pieces were quite big. It had the distinctive taste of MDMA (which reassured us as we had not seen it like that before).
On the night, we didn't take any until we got to the concert. We started taking it at about 8.10pm with a view to being high for DP at 9ish. Our initial attempts were awkward as it was difficult to get many of the crystals on our fingers. We eventually managed to consume about 1/4 gram each over a period of about 20mins. We experienced an amazing high and the concert was great. I won’t describe it in detail as it seemed at the time fairly standard. Feeling great, lot of dancing etc.
it seemed at the time fairly standard. Feeling great, lot of dancing etc.
It is not really the point of this narrative however.
Afterwards, we went into town and at about 11.30pm took the rest of the MDMA - another 1/4 gram or so each.
I should mention, my sister is a good deal slighter than I at about 8st and she did not experience the side effects that I did. I am also older at 32 to her 27.
I first noticed the hallucinations (though I did not realise that is what they were at the time) at about 1am – I was alone, feeling generally good. I had come down from the peak and was tired. I was waiting for my sister to come back from the ladies. There were pictures being shown on the big screen in the club and I was watching those while leaning against a wall. I suddenly noticed a pipe of some kind on the ceiling and what I thought was a spinning wheel on the pipe which I thought was flashing the pictures on the screen. Was not disturbed as had a rational explanation for what I saw. I am a type that likes to know how things work. When my sister returned I went to show it to her but it was gone. There was clearly nothing there but a pipe. I was puzzled but not unduly concerned.
As the night went on, I became increasingly aware that I was somehow out of kilter with my surroundings. I should mention that I did not realise for a long time what was actually happening. I have never taken acid as the thought of hallucinations does not appeal to me at all. From other people, I thought hallucinations were kind of cartoonish and surreal. What I was experiencing was not like that but looked absolutely real. I was slow to tell my sister as I did not want her to think I was not coping however, I was getting more and more uneasy and puzzled. I was increasingly afraid I was going to have a panic attack.
It gradually got worse. We were in territory that is very familiar to us, however, as we were going home (hazy on time now, think it was about 2.30 as club was not over), we went round a corner, very near my workplace, which I am completely familiar with, and I did a double take. There was a booth, lit up and glowing blue in the middle of the traffic intersection which was an elaborate ATM. I had never seen it before. I exclaimed loudly and pointed it out to my sister – she was of course baffled – I looked again it was gone. I still did not say to her what was happening. However, on the journey home in the taxi it was becoming apparent to her as I constantly questioned where we were and was difficult to reassure. When we got home, she took off her shoes and I saw that underneath her converse boots she had even more elaborate converse boots in a herringbone pattern, blue and red. Of course I asked her where she got them. It was at that point that we realised I was actually seeing things. Once I knew that was what was going on it was easier to cope.
we realised I was actually seeing things. Once I knew that was what was going on it was easier to cope.
The hallucinations were very real. They didn’t go away when I looked closer at them but seemed to grow only more real. They usually disappeared if I looked away. They were also quite organic. My sister has freckles, and as we talked they would get darker and darker until it looked like her face was heavily stained with ink spots. Her hair, head and nose also kept changing shape as I talked her. At one point she had glasses. At one point there was also a man sitting in the room with us. He was threatening, just very real.
My sister stayed up with me as I tried to sit it out. I was difficult to talk to as I kept losing track of the conversation what with watching for the hallucinations and looking at them. I was edgy and twitchy. I thought if I was alert enough they would stop. But it nearly always took me a few seconds to realise each new hallucination was just that, a hallucination. It was very tiring. Eventually they seemed to subside, were smaller and less frequent. The realistic people/items were gone and replace by a small red haze, it looked like a haze of red droplets. At that point we went to bed. It was about 4.30am.
The major hallucinations were gone the next day, however, I have experienced afterwards an uncertainty about what I see. I have occasionally seen something that is not there. I am not sure if this is a residue of the drug or simply my now being aware that my eyes are not always reliable and that there are other possibilities for shapes that I see everyday. It is very disconcerting. I last experienced such a moment about 3wks ago when I saw a boy who had a green hat on, a maroon t-shirt and a green long sleeve t-shirt underneath and thought I was seeing the incredible hulk. These moments are very fleeting but they make me uneasy and I tend to worry over them in my mind.
My sister and I are very careful with our drug use and are not really part of a big group with whom we can discuss my experience. I hope my experience informs others. I am just glad it does not appear to be long lasting.
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