Citation: Tye. "Once Was Enough: An Experience with Crack (exp57447)". Erowid.org. Apr 5, 2007. erowid.org/exp/57447
The first time I tried crack was this year in around august. I never thought I would try crack and had definatly decided that if I ever did it it would be the last drug I ever did. I had done coke many times before and had grown to like to feeling quite a bit. Coke had become my favorite drug and had been doing it about once every two weeks, I always regulate my drug use so its never to close together, and judging by how I was able to sustain my usage at this level for around a year with coke I decided to try crack, knowing my chances of addiction and after much research.
One afternoon my Coke dealer had come over and dropped off around a gram of coke, he did a big rail with me and told me about how he used to do crack and what it felt like and what it did, what to expect and how to cook it. After I told him I didnt think I was able to do it on my own he offered to help if I promised it was the only time I would ever touch the drug in crack form. Hes a great guy and a outstanding drug dealer, which is definatly tough to come by and he knew I was going to find a way to get the drug and do it that day anyway and felt better it be when hes around and has cooked it into a reasonable amount not to much not to little. The guy cooked me up some crack wearily and unsure of letting me have it he finally gave in after making me promise once more that I would never do it again, he said he had made quite a big rock for a first timer and made me a pipe out of a old beer can.
Not sure what to expect I took a small hoot at first then as soon as I exhailed I felt the effects hit. They hit quick and instantly. I felt all the days stress relieve itself from my mind and just felt completely relaxed for the first time in months. I quickly finished off the rock after being reassured it was not enough to do any damage to anyone, no matter how much of a lightweight.
I sat on the couch and compared experiences with the dealer for about 10 min until all the effects wore off. I sat there during those 10 min though with Complete euphoria, didnít have a care in the world and didnít have a stress within my whole body. Completely relaxed, the opposite of the uptight stressful feeling of anxiety I often got from doing to much coke in powder form. They were complete opposites, polar opposites, at the same time I did not receive any of the unpleasant after effects I get from powder cocaine either. I only later received the familiar withdrawal symptoms after the powder cocaine had worn off from the first line I had done that night. When the crack wore off I felt just as though I was baseline again, or baseline for after doing that first line of the night. I was expecting the shakes or something totally freaky to happen but nothing did.
I didnít become hooked, havenít done it since and never will. I did it my one time and its over and done with. I wouldnít recommend doing it to anyone prone to addiction or anyone who has ever had a problem with powder cocaine. The feeling was so much more intense and much more pleasant and so easy to see why the substance is so addictive and takes so many lives.
I still do cocaine now and again in its powder form and am actually on about 2 grams of that right now. I donít use even powder cocaine nearly as often anymore, and me and my dealer have become better friends because of this experience. In-fact he has become one of my best friends lately.
Apparently I did look like a junky while on the crack with the telltale movements of someone on crack, my arms were moving a lot although I remember it being a very calming experience. But I was told later that it defiantly looked like I had done some crack, was also told that it may have just been the amount I had done on the first time I had done it. Brought me closer together with a good friend and gave me a new experience to add to the list of almost everything I had ever wanted to do. Always said Never Heroin or Crystal Meth, and have defiantly kept to those promises and will continue too, cocaine is the extreme on my continuum and will always be.
Have tried almost every type of drug out there every class, hallucinogens, pot, stimulants, depressants, benzo's, more pharmaceuticals, and Crack was by far the most intense out of all of them, more intense then acid in feelings wise, but less intense in experience and trip wise, even when It comes to the comedown. I have worse comedowns from Acid than I did from crack, mostly because itís so drawn out on acid. With Crack the comedown was there and you slowly felt more normal from the moment you exhaled the first breath until you are completely baseline again. It may have helped I had been on benzoís that day as anticipating the comedown from the coke and had taken early measures with lorazapam and chlonazapam.
I truly believe that thanks to not having any intense comedown from the drug I expected the worst comedown ever from, I did not resort back to the drug again later that day or even the next day. I believe that if I had experienced a harsh comedown from the drug that day I would have defiantly cooked the rest of my cocaine I had purchased (around 2 grams) into rock as soon as my friend was out of sight. I would have waited and withdrawn while he was with me however unpleasant in order to do it again later that night.
I suffer from a bi polar disorder in which my regular moods are considered depressed for anyone else and my downs include suicidal thoughts and even an attempt here or there. I realize most people could do this drug without any addiction, and most people who try this drug will not become addicted, but itís the first drug I have ever done where I have had to tell myself not to do it again because it scared me that much the first time. Just because of the feeling that overcame me so quickly and only lasted such a short time, but I will always remember those 10 min of my life. Which is more than I can say for most drugs.
I am now a 21 year old individual still going to university to finish off a business degree, who does drugs occasionally on the side, never been hooked on anything, never had any drug problems or do I ever plan on it. Now that I know I have conquered Crack and have nothing else to try except Ketamine left in my list of things I am ever willing to do, I know I am safe for life.
It has changed me in a lot of ways, I feel as though it ended my drug years, I barely use any drugs anymore, except cocaine about once every 2 months now, which is not much considering my choice of friends. I stopped having the urge to try new drugs and experience new life changing effects. As I had for many years before, this was the feeling that made me want to try acid or mush, and change in perception and the thoughtless tough world around me. It did change my life like doing any drug does, but this one had a positive effect on me. Working and school is a lot better without always thinking about doing a drug, or what I was going to do this week to change the world for a little while to give my brain a quick little break from reality.
I guess it was my final step into growing up and ushered me into adulthood quickly. Itís always a personal choice to do a drug or not, but this guy who has been there says itís not one to mess with, only you know yourself and your limits. Hope this has been helpful.
Submitted Nov 2006
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