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The Entire Multiverse Is Imploding!
Ketamine & 2C-I
by lazyvegan
Citation:   lazyvegan. "The Entire Multiverse Is Imploding!: An Experience with Ketamine & 2C-I (exp57648)". Erowid.org. Mar 16, 2018. erowid.org/exp/57648

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
18 mg oral 2C-I (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:00 50 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 50 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 50 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)
  T+ 1:30 100 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 100 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb


[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

Both C. And I are very experienced with psychedelics, and have tried pretty much 'everything'. My personal experience goes back over 16 years. In that time I have had only 3 certified 'bad trips', with the other two having easily explained reasons like sleep deprivation and accidental overdose. I have taken 2C-I many times, and it is one of my favorite all-around 'social' psychedelics. I am a 'very' experienced ketamine user, and have never had a bad trip on ketamine in the 500+ times I have used it. This was a first. After much retrospection, I do not blame ketamine for this 'trip'. It was likely both the 2c-I and the emotional state we both were in at the time that were the deciding factors for the direction this trip took, as is explained in the 'Afterthoughts' section of this report.

My interest in ketamine was first peaked with the release of D.M. Turners book in 1994. I was equally intrigued by his descriptions of the 2c-b/ketamine combo. It wasn't until 1998 I would have the oppurtunity to try ketamine, and still a few years later until I encountered 2C-B. In the years in between then and now, the one never seemed to be around when the other was. A few days ago, my long time tripping partner C and I had finally aquired some k after nearly a 2 year drought. We decided to try it with 2C-I to see if the synergy might be similar to the k/2C-B combo. 2C-I and 2C-B are very closely chemically related, with, I feel, 2C-I being only somewhat less visual, more speedy, and longer lasting.

We started the evening by ingesting 18 mg. Of 2C-I. While waiting for the effects to manifest, we I'm'd a few 50 mg shots of k, and then at perhaps +1.5 hours, a 100 mg shot. By the time we had returned from an average, enjoyable k-trip, the full effects of the 2C-I had manifested themselves. I was REALLY high! The 2c-I was really giving me energy, as it normally does, and I was liking this new dimension the k was bringing to it, even if I was kinda overwhelmed by it all. I was pacing around the room with tons of energy, enjoying the trip, playing music, ect. I was perfectly content in the space I was in, and really didn't feel the need to do more k. But against my better judgement, I was enticed to do another 100 mg. Shot. We were laying together in my comfy bed, had the groovy lighting going on, and some chill downtempo playing to guide the trip. This is how we do things, like we had done a million times before. But something would be different this time. The following events came in flashes, and are written in the best order I can remember them.

Suddenly I was lying on the ground, screaming, and C was there too. Then I remember becoming fully aware and awake, and here's where things went strange. Both C and I recall it was as if our consciousness' were caught up in each others, except in a very bad way. We were standing up, stuck together, mentally warbling around trying to work things out. It didn't feel good.
We were standing up, stuck together, mentally warbling around trying to work things out. It didn't feel good.
We felt something seriously wrong had happened and we were stuck together in a rather uncomfortable kinda way. The entire trip had been turned upside down and it was going very badly. Everything was taking an 'opposite' turn for the worse. Something was going on! And then FLASH!

Suddenly we were standing around talking (for the first time EVER after I'm'ing a full dose of k). We both felt REALLY, REALLY BAD, both physically and mentally, and we both agreed something was definitely wrong. We were awake when we shouldn't be. We felt as if time was dissolving, going backwards or something. From here on out I will be relating my own experience, however C and I have come to the conclusion that there were very many similarities (yet some differences) between each of our trips .

So things started to get worse. I felt my entire body, mind, and soul was starting to dissolve into nothingness. Only not in some 'cool k-trip' kinda way, but the REAL FUCKING DEAL!! The entire physical world was falling apart around me. Anything that once represented love or good in the world was gone. Only horrible things were within my realm of vision.
The entire physical world was falling apart around me. Anything that once represented love or good in the world was gone. Only horrible things were within my realm of vision.
There was (and still is) blood ALL over the floor, all my plants were overturned, and my living room was in shambles. What was happening? I could not see or feel goodness anywhere no matter how hard I tried. I was in a state of terrible physical torture. I could feel I was dying, literally! I cannot explain this enough! THIS WAS HAPPENING!!!. I WAS DYING! I COULD FEEL IT! PHYSICALLY!!! I COULD FEEL THE PAIN! With every essence of my being! It was the the most horrible feeling I have ever had. I honestly thought the entire planet was under some kind of attack by an alien race that was attempting to exterminate us by using some sort of poison that was all around us. It was slowly killing us. This was how REAL this feeling of impending death was. The ONLY other explanation was that the entire universe was slowly collasping, as if all things were slowly disappearing, time itself was reversing, and I was dying with it. I was in SERIOUS, excrutiating pain. My mind, body, and soul were dissolving, my memories were dissolving, and my physical self was dying. Both of us were. Something bad was definitely happening, and we held each other for comfort. I was sure this was the end. It was unexplainable. It was the the most terrible mental and physical pain I have ever felt. It was a horrible way to die, much more so that starving to death, but this would be my fate apparently. This was the multiverse collapsing! All time, matter, and space and everything it ever represented was imploding, for what reason, we would never know. It was beyond our control. But the end of existence for this universe was upon us, and I said goodbye to C.

I had accepted this was the end, but the pain was just too horrible to bear. I did not want to die in such misery. Who knows how long it would take? It hurt so bad, and I didn't want to wait. I wanted was a gun. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die quickly and painlessly. I yelled for one. I started looking for one frantically! If there had been one around at the moment, there is no doubt in my mind I would have used it, and I wouldn't be here right now to write this report. That is the scary part. That is the part that that scares me to this day (2 days later), especially since I have recently considered buying one for sport and self-defense. But that is the truth. And that is just how REAL this all felt, and how bad the pain was at the moment. I would have killed myself. Luckily, I had no gun. This part of the night lasted for perhaps 20-30 minutes. Then I blacked out.

The next thing I remember, I was lying on the ground unable to open my eyes. I didn't know what was happening, and for the first time ever I felt I had truly lost my mind. I felt as if I was in some psychiatric ward somewhere after having flipped my lip, yet unable to regain consciousness. I could hear C's voice yelling my name, but I could not regain consciousness or open my eyes no matter how hard I tried. And believe me, I tried HARD! With ALL my might! I felt I had 'really done it this time', that I had had a psychotic break, and I was gone forever. This is how I would experience the rest of my life. Trapped inside my head, unable to move, inside some horrible trip, unable to regain awareness, yet able to hear my surroundings. This was scary. This is where C remembers having to hold me down and cover my mouth to keep me from screaming, all the while herself freaking out. Then I black out again.

The next time I came to, I looked around to see C laying across my coffee table. The table was not where it used to be be, and the glass center was out of place (but in my eyes completely shattered). The room around me was completely torn apart, blood still all over the floor. I looked down at her again, and was sure she was dead. This was no joke! The rest of the night's memories streamed back into me, and I looked down at C. What had happened? Was she dead? Had I killed her? I was FREAKING OUT!.
I looked down at C. What had happened? Was she dead? Had I killed her? I was FREAKING OUT!.
I grabbed her and screamed her name! She was NOT waking up!! What?? It was only after the longest minute of my life, of constant shaking and screaming, that she finally came to. I was SOOOOO happy she was alive. I had been truly convinced she was dead, that perhaps I had killed her, and that would not have been good...at all.

The next half hour or so was kinda sketchy, flowing in and out, but the k finally started to wear off. I started to clean up the crime scene, completely in shock, slowly trying to process what the fuck ever had just happened. I eventually enticed C (who had been lying on the floor of my computer room in shock for awhile) back into the living room to discuss what had happened. She was just as freaked out as me. We tried to talk, to make some sort of sense of the events that had just taken place. It was like opposite day. Everything that should have happened, didn't. And everything that shouldn't have happened, did. We had been fully aware and awake after I'm'ing a full dose of K, having the worst trip either of us had ever had, when we should have been fully unconcious, lost in some beautiful realm of disembodied bliss. What the fuck had happened?

We both felt a really BAD, dark energy pulsing through our bodies. The first realization we had was that this was not 'her' fault. We both knew we still had total faith in lady k, as she was our longtime friend. It was not her that had let us down. She would actually make things better. And she did. After an hour or so, we eventually started doing some 50 mg. Shots of k to try to feel better. This worked, to an extent. After a few hours of talking and recovering, we both came to some conclusions that are explained in the next section of the report. We eventually got up the nerve to take another full 100 mg dose of k, even though we still felt the dark energy within us. My courage to do so came only from my certainty that it woud be downright impossible for the multiverse to implode twice in one night, right? So yeah, I was cool with it.

And that trip went fine. As the did the all the following trips that night. We finished off the 4 grams we had over the course of the next 20 hours or so. We made dinner and talked some more. We then made a few cups of poppy tea to mellow us out, and this eliminated all traces of the dark energy that had been, nearly 24 hours later, still pulsing within us. We were again, finally, in a happy state of mind and body. We came down, and talked some more about the experience. It is here we truly started to figure out what just 'might' have happened, and that is the the subject of the next section.


Afterthoughts:

This was honestly one of the most horrifying experiences of my life. But after a couple days of thinking and discussing the matter with C, this is the best explanation I can come up with:

As I mentioned before, I have had two other REALLY bad trips in my lifetime, but neither of them even come close to this when considering the 'reality of the situation'. But that, to an extent, I do blame on the ketamine. I do believe ketamine puts me in a very suggestive state of mind, so I feel she played a part, if only a supporting role. She is not capable of giving me this kind of trip alone.

I think the 2C-I was the main factor. I was looking to explore the positive experiences I have read about regarding the 2cB/Ketamine combo, but 2C-I is alot more 'speedy' than 2C-B. I knew this, and as I explained, I was pacing around the room, full of energy before this all happened. I think as much as ketamine can easily knock me out with a full 100 mg I'm dose, somehow the energy I got from the 2ci was enough to occasionally bring me back into awareness, which led to a kind of tug of war. This tug of war between the two drugs in my mind led to me standing up, walking around, falling down, and going in and out of consciousness, hence the blacking in and out. This could also explain the feelings and thoughts of the universe, myself, and everything, being 'dissolved' to an extent, but it really doesn't explain why we were both in such such horrible physical and mental pain, or why this feeling lasted at least a full 20 minutes. Both of these drugs normally make me feel physically and mentally 'awesome', so I see no reason why, together, they would add up to the worst experience of my life. That is something I can't explain just yet, and perhaps never will. Maybe there is some really bad synergy with these two drugs, but I doubt it. Our k-trips taken soon after the one bad experience were fine, even if I still felt the negative energy in my veins. I will still, however, most likely never try this combo again...

We also came to the conclusion that the emotional state we both were in probably played a role in the overall experience. C and I have been lovers for the last 9 years, and have recently been having some rather serious personal problems. We hadn't spoken in a while, and the only reason we were even together that night was because she had recently found a ketamine hook up. She called me only for that reason, as we are both k-fiends and haven't seen it in a long time. That is what brought us together that night, and we basically just started doing drugs before we even had a chance to sit down and discuss the issues that had been plaguing us. We both feel there was some built up emotional stress between us that might have effected the trip. We have since, at the very least, talked things over. But we both definitely feel this played a factor, if only a minor one, in the overall direction of the trip. My own physical and emotional well being may have also been a factor, as I was at the time, rather depressed, and food and sleep deprived for a few weeks leading up to this experience. And in case your wondering, I found some broken glassware on my kitchen floor, and multiple cuts on my feet, so that was likely the reason for the blood all over the living room floor.

Conclusion:

All in all not a very good day, but things are better now. This was DEFINITELY the worst trip of my life, even if it only lasted an hour or so. The other two were pretty damn soul-shatteringly awful, lasted a 'whole' lot longer, and I though I would surely die one of those times too, but still. The realism here was WAY beyond belief. The certainty you and me and everything that ever was were going to die was unreal. I am just glad we are all here today and I hope it stays that way. I am glad I had the previous bad experiences which allowed me to both work through this trip as it was happening, and analyze it afterwards. I am satisfied with my conclusion for now, even if it's not the full story. It works for me. I will definitely still use 2C-I and K in the future, only not together, and under different circumstances. They both still have alot to offer. Just watch your back!

Lazyvegan

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 57648
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 16, 2018Views: 2,159
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2C-I (172), Ketamine (31) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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