Citation: Tyler S. "A Journey to the Other Side: An Experience with Clonazepam, Diazepam, Zolpidem & Diphenhydramine (exp57709)". Erowid.org. Jan 30, 2007. erowid.org/exp/57709
It was a particularly...auspicious night. My girlfriend and I of 2 and a half years notoriety had broken up perhaps 2 weeks before I inhaled my fathers medicine cabinet. A frequent and experienced drug user, i have (since this night) read both PiHKAL and TiHKAL, and explored the more intelligent side of drug abuse.
I began the night reading The Way of the Shaman, and my mind, already twisted with grief, turned to the idea of the OSC, of altered states of consciousness.
Having engaged in spiritual exploration via 5 MeO DMT, Shrooms, LSD, Salvia, etc ad nauseum, i was familiar with this state, and seemingly comfortable in my drug awareness, though I had not yet experienced my 4+.
So, whilst my parents were away at a play (i was at this time living in the back guest house at my folks house), i stumbled into my parents bathroom. Staring at my haggard reflection, something slipped upstairs, and i flung open the cabinet door. My father, who is already chronically depressed and recently gotten over a severe car wreck, had a veritable cornucopia of pharmaceutical candies.
I started on 4 Clonazepam and Diazepam, knowing one of the two (diazepam?) to be a drug Snipers took in the field to steady their aim, so i figured it would do something. 45 minutes later i was still at baseline, and depression was setting in, so back up to the cabinet of dreams to see what else could be found...
...4 pills each of Clonazepam and Ambien and two hours later i'm lying on my bed with Butcher blasting in my headphones 'writing' in my journal. Looking back at what I penned that night scares the living shit (can i say that?) out of me. A mirror image of the darkside of myself, something i never want to see again. I don't truly recall much else except chewing approx. 14 benadryl tabs in the midst of my angst filled night...
Feels as though some part of me simply did not want to make it through that night.
Keep in mind, i'm not a suicidal person - I have studied martial arts for 16 years, read more books and attended more Ashraams and meditation centers I care to mention, yet all the same these drugs pulled this side from me, something perhaps hidden for too long.
The following morning, still tripping, i called my father to ask him why time was subjective only to me...when he got home to take me to the hospital, I was talking to a woman in a red shirt (this is all I remember of her) next to my pool pump. My father, understandably distressed, took me to the ER, where it was discovered that I had an allergic reaction to Diphenhydramine, the active ingredient in Benadryll.
A horribly life changing experience, I would hope this to serve as a warning: The world of drugs is a wonderful one, with worlds of potential not perceived by the masses, just be sure to read your warning labels.
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