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Compulsive
Cocaine
Citation:   chemluv. "Compulsive: An Experience with Cocaine (exp60152)". Erowid.org. Aug 17, 2020. erowid.org/exp/60152

 
DOSE:
  repeated insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)
I had my first experiance with coke about 2 years ago, and I can't even begin to describe it. I was on top of the world! I loved it. I started buying about 1 gram every two weeks. Not a big deal, I'd save it for a night and somtimes wouldn't even use it all! In fact, after a few months I stopped buying it completely.

One day, after somthing pretty upsetting had happened to me, I got a really strong craving out of nowhere. I called some people and had a lot of trouble finding some. Eventually I did, and it was a new person I had never gone through. I blew (no pun intended) $200 and bought an 8 ball. When it was handed to me, I was told to be careful as this was 'some strong shit.' I drove home shaking in anticipation.

The new stuff was AMAZING. The 8-ball lasted me 2 days. I had gotten paid the day after I bought it, so I cashed my check and went running back to Dude. Dude looked at me a little skeptically, but hey who is he to turn down $200? This became a regular thing, and I was twacked out all day during school. People definetly could notice, and I lost a lot of weight really fast. At work, my boss would make comments like 'you sure have a lot of energy, what happened?'

Then something weird started happening. When I looked at walls they appeared to be 'breathing.' I attributed this to my lack of sleep and ignored it. But as the weeks wore on I got to the point where I couldn't turn off the lights. If I was in the dark, I would see shadows moving. I could swear there were people in the room with me. I slept with the lights on, watched movies with the lights on..it was ridiculous.

Then there was the issue of the nosebleeds. My nose felt fine, which makes sense since coke is a local anesthetic. But if I went for more than 6 hours without any blow it would burn like all hell. I now get nose bleeds every night, I get them at school, and I get them at work. I got one at dinner with my family and luckily it is winter, so I said it's just too dry out. I have now been using cocaine quite heavily (an 8-ball anywhere from every two days to once a week) for a long time now, and my nose is always bleeding. I am always twacked out and people are confronting me and I've lost a few friends. Their concern and anger hasn't affected me though. Honestly, I don't see myself without it right now. I don't know what I'd do without it. I love it and I have no desire to stop. I recognize the negative parts but it's really not that bad. I'm going away for college next year and I'm leaving the state..the funny thing is that pretty much the only concern I have is the fact that I won't know anyone there and I'll have trouble finding a hook up. Knowing me, though, I'll find it within the first few days.

I wrote this for people wondering about doing it for the first time. I don't really think cocaine is physically addicting (other than extreme fatigue, headaches...etc) but the problem is its a compulsive drug. There have been so many times where I've been sitting around, deciding to do a shitload of coke but not all of it, and once I'm high I can't stop myself. Once I did an entire 8-ball over the course of 7 hours. I ended up puking, shaking, had a horrible headache, couldn't walk but couldn't sleep, was not very coherant and..it was a horrible feeling. Although I say I don't really care, I spend ALL of my money...and it's definetly taken a toll on my health.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 60152
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 17, 2020Views: 884
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Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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