DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

Before I tried MDMA, I read a lot about it, apart from getting as much information as I could on it, I read numerous trip reports. Every time I read a trip report, all I read was ‘I felt really good’ or ‘I felt really happy’, the feeling was never explained, so I wasn’t expecting the drug to have much effect, maybe slight happiness, things feeling better than normal (enhanced senses) etc.

The week coming up to my ecstasy trip, I tried to eat a lot more fruit and vegies than normal, I ate really healthy for the week beforehand. I also took antioxidant pills and omega-3 pills before hand, in attempt to avoid any neurotoxicity. Before I tried MDMA I had smoked pot twice and been drunk very few times. I had attempted to try LSD, but we got ripped off with bunk tabs.

The day of my roll, I ate a meal at 12pm and then didn’t eat anything else for the rest of the day. At 8pm I met friend A at the mall, we waited until about 8.20 when friend B arrived with the goods. He gave us two pills, and then explained the best way to take it, and made sure we knew what we were doing. As soon as we finished talking to him, we ran to the bathroom and chewed up the pills, then swallowed the powder down with water. I only took one pill, and one pill was surely enough. It tasted really bad chewing them up, and the taste stayed in my mouth for about 10 minutes after. Friend B, said if we chewed the pills, it would hit us in about 40 minutes. In my excitement to eat the pill, I forgot to check what picture was on it, Friend B said they were red dragons or something like that. After this we went and bought some gum, and started chewing it.

Friend A and I walked around the mall waiting for the effects until finally we sat down on a seat outside the movie theatre. I checked my watch and saw it had been EXACTLY 40 minutes since we digested the pills. I told A and thought to myself, I really hope these aren’t fakes, remembering my last attempt at trying LSD.

As soon as I had told A it had been 40 minutes, I started to feel something, it felt as if my body was slowly rising off the chair, I felt really light headed, except the feeling was all around my body , I started laughing and laughing for a long time, and the feeling just got stronger. I asked A if he was feeling it yet but he wasn’t. I continued to laugh and laugh until I finally stood up and felt really light, sort of dizzy, but not dizzy, I could balance perfectly. It was a strange yet awesome feeling.

A got up and said ‘what, what is it?’ I told him I was definitely feeling it, as soon as I said that I saw his face change, he was feeling it as well. I HUGE grin spread across my face, which I kept for the whole night. We went for another walk to the toilets, I was getting crazy jaw clenches, I told A he just said KEEP CHEWING! But I could barely open my mouth, I was speaking really weird cause my teeth were glued together but I loved it. We went to the toilets and checked our pupils, they were HUGE, we thought it was pretty cool!

We both felt an amazing amount of energy, like we could do anything we wanted, I still felt light bodied, I felt light bodied the whole night. I drank 250mL and then checked my watch, knowing I should start sipping again in an hour. We went for another walk around the mall, and this is when the amazing euphoria hit me. I just felt unbelievably amazingly awesome. When I walked I felt like I was floating, and I was amazingly happy, except it was much much much stronger than just happy by 100x, a higher state of mind than happy, euphoria is the closest I can come to describing it, I just felt AMAZING. I told A but he was still feeling energy and the euphoria hadn’t hit him yet. I kept telling him, I feel so fucking good, this is amazing! Then 5 minutes later it hit him, we both kept telling each other, I feel fucking amazingly fucking awesome, this is sooooooo good! A started rubbing his face and shirt and told me to do it too. So I did, wow, my shirt felt like velvet or silk or something, and my face felt like smooth ice or something, just amazingly awesome to rub. We got back to the front of the movies and lay down on a grass patch, we just admired these feelings, and how amazing we felt. We were sitting there grinning ear to ear, laughing at everything, just feeling so amazing. People walked passed and gave us really weird looks, but I just smiled at them and felt awesome. Normally I would be annoyed at people giving me a weird look, but tonight I loved anyone, no matter what they did. Then friend A and B came into my mind, I was so happy A was with me and doing this, I was so glad we could both experience this and share it with each other, I wad disappointed at all the people who never got to feel this, how unlucky they were, deprived of this feeling. I loved B so much for driving out here and giving us the pills. He didn’t even make a profit on them (although I gave him an extra 5, even though he didn‘t ask for it, for driving out here), and he drove out to the mall from his house to give them to us.

I sat up on the grass and looked over at A. Somehow, I sensed his feelings, he was worried, paranoid about something. I could just read him like a book. I asked him what’s wrong, he said nothing, but I knew he was lying. I don’t know how, it felt like our emotions were connected, because as soon as I saw him worried, I felt worried and really bad . I kept asking what was wrong, I wanted him to be happy again so we could both have an awesome time, but he wouldn’t tell me so he just kept on being worried. He sat up on a concrete bench and just sat there with a grim look on his face. I told him my feelings were connected with his and I was feeling really worried as well, and he needs to feel happy, so we can keep enjoying this awesome experience. He eventually told me he needed to be home at 11pm, and the MDMA would not have worn off by then, so he was worried his mum would find out. We worked out an excuse that my dad had to work late, so he couldn’t get home at 11, and I wouldn’t ring my Dad to pick us up, till the MDMA had fully worn off. Immediately, we both went back to feeling awesome again. That was an amazing experience in itself, because it felt like A and I, had emotions of the same, like our emotions were connected, A and I both pondered on how cool that was.

We were both on the cement bench now and I checked my watch, expecting it to be way past an hour and I should of started drinking my water again. IT HAD ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES! I was amazed, it felt like at least an hour, if not more, I told A and he was amazed also, it had felt like a few hours had passed since we’d been in the toilets, he couldn’t believe me, he had to check my watch. The whole night was like this, 10 minutes felt like hours, I never heard of altered time perception on E, but it was surely happening now! I started rubbing the concrete bench to see how it would feel and it felt like I was rubbing my hands over smooth ice. My hands slid along it, it felt amazingly smooth, and awesome. A and I then continued to just talk, non-stop for 2 hours straight, without a break in the conversation. I am normally a bad conversationalist and can’t keep a conversation going longer than 2 minutes, but not tonight, A and I talked without a break for 2 hours straight. We talked about so many things, it was really good.

Around 12am, the effects had worn off enough so that we could act sober so I called my dad. Our pupils were still massive, so we were just making sure we stayed in the dark. When we waited for him, we were still talking non-stop, I still felt complete euphoria, and light-bodied. My dad arrived and we hopped into the car, and I started talking to my dad about everything, this is extremely unusual for me to do, and I realized after about 5 minutes of doing so and shut my mouth. We dropped A of home, and then I got home and went straight to bed, not wanting to spend time in the light with my dad as my pupils were still huge. I got to bed, and still had a massive grin on my face, my cheek bones still hurt from smiling so much, I tried to wipe the grin, but I couldn’t, I just felt so damn good. and I was still feeling awesome. I turned my iPod on and started listening to music. The screen of my iPod looked amazing, it was so crisp, and clear. The music was amazing, it was also extremely crisp and clear, it sounded like speakers were playing all around my head, the songs sounded different, almost like listening to them for the first time, and I started hearing all these things I hadn’t heard before. I reminisced over the night, and kept laughing at how amazing everything was. I was so thankful A came with me, and was willing to share this experience, and willing to experiment with drugs with me. It felt great to have him as a friend. I felt perfect with life, nothing annoyed me, everything was beautiful, normal things which annoyed me (sounds outside, needing to get up and piss all the time) were now awesome things, I was lucky to experience. At around 3am I knew the feelings of euphoria were all gone, except I wasn’t disappointed, I was still really happy, and felt awesome I got to experience such a thing.

During my roll, when I talked with A and lay in bed, I examined many elements in my life, any problems I had, I felt happy about, lucky to even have a problem to deal with, lucky to even be alive. It showed me how awesome life is, no matter what happens. I talked with A about everything in my life, I talked with A about anything I wanted, not holding any thoughts in.

I think MDMA is an amazing drug, and could be used for many medical purposes, especially in psychiatry.

Two days after (today), and I still feel awesome, the day after I felt really, really, really tired, but still extremely happy, I don’t know if this is an afterglow or what, but I feel so lucky to have my life, my friends have taken on a whole new meaning, I feel so close to them now, so lucky to have them as my friends. I don’t plan to do it again, well this year, because I don’t want to risk harming my brain. I rang friend B up and thanked him so much for what he did. This is an amazing drug. WOW.


ADDENDUM - TEN YEARS LATER (2018)

I have chosen to write a follow up to this report as I do not feel it accurately represents the entire spectrum of my experience with MDMA. First of all I would like to say that this being one of my first experiences, and as such was and is one experience that led me down a horrible path of both mental illness (I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 6 years later) and drug addiction. Whilst the report seems a glowing representation of MDMA, it does not show the repercussions or consequences that such an experience had on me.

In hindsight I wish I had never used these drugs at all, I can see drug usage at that age was like opening a switch in my brain. The experience most certainly led to a one-month hospital stay for psychosis that came two or three years afterwards, and the euphoria left its mark for drug seeking behaviour later in life to recreate that first euphoric feeling.

On top of that my psychosis was untreated for up to ten years. This went hand in hand with drug abuse (using LSD and mushrooms continually for weeks, and also codeine and marijuana used everyday for months on end, onand on and off for years). This led to disrupting my family life to the point of almost being disowned and spending a year homeless until I came to my senses.

Today, with medication I'm stable and can live a good life, but I only started long-term medication last year, so I have a ways to go. I have developed a spiritual awareness through meditation which to me is the most important part of my life. And it came through meditation. I think psychedelics break the veil, which again without protection can be dangerous again. I have pain issues, which seems to be from past opiate use. I still struggle with cravings and this impacts my life. I'm actually on suboxone for it.

While I do think there may be some therapeutic value under the correct therapeutic conditions, I personally believe meditation, while not as immediately rewarding, can create the same if not better and more healthy feelings as MDMA, with long-term practice. I hope what I have said has some impact on the mind of those who want to use this substance as in hindsight not all was as it seemed.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 60283
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Jun 27, 2018	Views: 868
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MDMA (3) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Relationships (44), Post Trip Problems (8), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)