Citation: Chris. "A Trip Through a Nightmare: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (15x extract) (exp61214)". Erowid.org. Oct 27, 2009. erowid.org/exp/61214
A couple months have passed since I took my first and last trip on Salvia (I guess that’s already a hint at my experience). I did thorough research on others experiences, and even after reading negative review after negative review, it still didn’t sink in how incredibly negative my experience might be. When others relay an experience of going through a type of Hell, it is usually not meant to be taken in a representational sense. They truly perceived the ordeal of seeing or experiencing Hell. I did not realize this at first as I read them, and took all of these negative reviews very lightly, even laughing in anticipation as if I wanted to experience those same things. I ordered a few grams of Salvia Divinorum 15x extract online and found the packaging amusing when it arrived. “This is incense. Not for human consumption.” I suppose it’s the only way to legally sell the stuff online.
As an occasional, but experienced pot smoker, I looked forward to trying Salvia with the thought of a “trip” being nothing more than the effects from really good weed. I settled into my friend Andrew’s apartment with my other friend Caleb. We all began completely sober and did not mix anything with the Salvia. As we packed the first bowl, we agreed to trip one at a time, knowing that the total experience should only last 5-10 minutes. Caleb, who is a less experienced smoker, took his first hit. Surprisingly, nothing happened. This was strange since Salvia’s effects take place almost immediately (usually on the exhale). I prompted him to take another. Again nothing. I assumed that quite possibly the stuff I purchased was bad or fake. Just as I was about to flip on the lights and call off our Salvia night, he said, “Wait a minute.” What happened for the next 15-20 minutes was a series of giggles as he explored the room and talked to things that were not there. This was not uncommon though for Caleb as he typically and strangely does this while drunk or high. He described his experience later as being no more intense than really good weed. This is exactly what I wanted to hear, and was anxious to take my hit.
I sat down and packed a fresh bowl of the extract. Lighting it up with a torch flame, I took two huge hits which completely cleared the bowl. That was my biggest mistake. I have this thing in my brain that sometimes tells me “more is better”. Well, more is not always better, especially with Salvia. I was anxious to experience what other people feel in those first few seconds. What could be so amazing that leaves most people virtually speechless after the first hit?
After my second exhale, I began to feel a very low frequency intense vibration around my head and in the room. My leaning back into the chair felt more like me falling into myself. I could still see my friends, but they seemed more distant. Caleb, eager to know what weird and amazing things I was feeling, kept asking me, “Do you feel anything?” accompanied by a huge grin. I tried to explain, but all that came out was, “This is really fucked up.” He kept repeating the question, and it soon became very annoying and provocative to me. I was no longer having fun. I realized at that moment that I am a person who loves to be in control with a firm grip on reality. On weed, I can explore my reality in fun and unique ways without ever leaving reality. Now, it was like I was strapped into a rollercoaster that I no longer wanted to be on, and it was too late. My last words to my best friend before I was swept away were, “Shut the fuck up!”
It’s hard to logically explain what happened next. I was thrust into another dimension that looked so unlike the one I am familiar with. However, I can somewhat explain how I felt. One moment I was in the room with my friends. Slowly, it was like the room, my friends, and my whole world were revealed to me to be fake. It was as if some cosmic being who I could not see, was showing me that everything I new to be true, never really existed. This realization was intense and very real to me. Not only was I experiencing this mental state, but I was also experiencing an incredible force controlling my physical body. My only burning desire was to return to my world. I wanted this to all be a horrible nightmare, but I knew for a fact that it wasn’t a dream. It was 100% real.
At this point, I had completely forgotten that I had smoked a substance. My eyes were open throughout this whole ordeal, but I was not seeing the room my physical body was in. The things I saw did not take shape like earthly objects. It was as if I was in some dream-like videogame where every object was a metaphor or representation of something else. I saw something that looked like the wheel of fortune spinner. It was missing one of the pieces. Much like a puzzle that represented my reality, I knew my life was that missing piece and now that it was removed, would never be able to fit again. I was essentially dead with my soul forced to dwell in this hellish realm. My life on earth was a farce all along. My family, friends and ambitions were all just a dream. THIS was my real life. There was no one to cry out to for help. I was alone in infinity.
After about 5 minutes and what seemed like hours, I began to come down. I suddenly saw the room again and some people (who I did not recognize at first) standing and watching me. This made me very uncomfortable. Suddenly everything made sense again. I had smoked Salvia and these are my friends, but where was I? I stood up and tried to explain to my friends that I knew what was going on (as if they needed to know). I was just so excited to have my life back that I wanted to tell them that I knew I would be OK. I’m sure this actually just made me look more messed up. Seeing them standing made me feel as if they were waiting on me to go with them somewhere and it confused the hell out of me, so I ordered them to sit. I fell back onto the couch and tried to sleep off the rest of the high, but my mind and body would have none of that. Although I was back in my reality, I felt what I can only explain to be a disharmony between my soul and body. Where normally the two parts rest on the same frequency (so to speak), my soul and body were on different frequencies trying to tune into each other again. This left me with a severe internal discomfort which slowly faded over the next 20 minutes.
The blessing of this drug is that it only lasted 20 minutes. I could not imagine that same experience stretched over 10 hours! In a strange way, I don’t regret trying Salvia. It has given me a broader understanding of the vast capabilities of the human mind and consciousness, as well as offered me a taste of what a psychotropic trip is like. I consider myself lucky to have experimented with this first, rather than jumping into acid or LSD. I will be happy sticking with weed!
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