Citation: Guttix. "Soaking the Fibres of Existence: An Experience with Ketamine & Cannabis (exp61718)". Erowid.org. Aug 26, 2009. erowid.org/exp/61718
So, I've been experimenting with different substances, namely psychedelics for about 9 months now. I only started after being convinced by my long hours of research on each substance I have decided to try. I had tried weed years ago but I never really liked it and I only use it to power up other substances. I've tried DXM, Ketamine, LSD, and others... But the one I've had the most experiences on is, by far, Ketamine.
I've done Ketamine countless times now and I sometimes am aware of how habit forming it can be. This is being written with a strong decision on my mind to quit the substance very soon.* My purpose, however, is to tell about a very strong experience I had a couple days ago at a friends house.
Setting: My friend's apartment. 21 stories up, with a fantastic view of our city. It's four of us, very close friends. We've tried everything together and it's always worked very well. Before doing our thing we all had some noodles. I thought it would be ok since I wasn't going to move while on K.
Mindset: Joy... our favorite band was playing at our city the next day and we decided to give this a try the night before. We were waking up at 4 am to go and get a place in the line for the concert.
We bought some very good quality weed and got to the bedroom where we would take off. I prepared 90mg shots for everybody and got one of the joints ready. We planned on injecting first, then smoking quickly before the K kicked in. I helped one of the guys with the injection while the others injected their own. The guys lit the joint up and started smoking while I shot my own dose. I saw two of them roll their eyes up while moaning a little. They just lay down staring into space. After injecting, I took about 7 long puffs of the weed... In two minutes, the K was rushing up and time was already fragmenting. I thought it was going to be a K trip with little weird visuals... I'm good with psychedelics. I control my mind fairly well. But this... I wasn't ready for what was to come.
I lay down beside one of the guys while all of us blabbered about how strong this thing was. After what seemed like half an hour (and probably was only a couple minutes). I automatically stretched my hand and turned the lamp off. Only the light from the city 21 stories below came in. After travelling through dark spaces lit up with small distant lights, I came back to myself and realized I was on K. I couldn't believe this was the effect... I had been absolutely drawn out of my body and I realized the dark space I had been travelling through was the dark sky and small lights were the city lights. As fast as I swung close to consciousness, I swung back into the depths of a pot-filled k-hole.
The experience lasted what I would call mental years. I had a life inside my mind. Somewhat like in a dream, but really thinking I was absolutely awake. I was having lunch with my mother (not my mother in real life) and suddenly a frame froze in front of my eyes. The frozen frame drew away from me and became a leaf on a plant full of possible lives. I remembered my state once again. I felt thrilled and scared at the same time about how strong this trip was being. Normally, the k-hole will take me far away... but this was a very psychedelic far away land. Once again I came back to myself (all these visions were had with open eyes) and I heard my three friends still blabbering about their own travels. Each of us was very gone from this place. However, this time I tried to move my arms...
Now this was new. I felt I was two selves at the same time. I felt I was a puppet being controlled by a puppetmaster: myself. My bigger self was a very complex being, existing in more than our usual three dimensions. The MIND behind the mind. My smaller self is the person writing this report right now. The normal human being, merely aware of our three dimensional world. I found out afterwards I wasn't the only one who had that experience.
After realizing this I swung back into the psycho-hole, full of patterns and kaleidoscopic visuals comparable to those of closed eye LSD visuals. This experience, however, has beat any LSD trip I've had.
At a point, I thought every single poster hanging from the walls was a window. The next moment, though I didn't really know what the concept of window was. Ketaminous thinking.
After what seemed like a good year, I realized only an hour had passed. I was feeling strong nausea and I also realized I had a very strong urge to throw up. I looked around and saw a big square of light which my mind recognized as the window. I got up suddenly and stumbled over to the window which looked more like an impressionist painting. I stuck my head out and into a world that felt more like clay. It felt like actually putting my head into a bowl of clay. I could hear every single noise in the city. I could hear people talking, cars, everything. However, it didn't feel like air. I started gagging and finally puked till there was nothing left. Instant relief struck me all over and I got back in. It's amazing how just a few inches make the difference between two different ways of feeling the existence. I let myself fall down onto a matress on the floor.
To this point some of us were now coming back from the huge trip. The visuals were still nuts, though. I stared into space with disbelief as everything looked like I had a translucid film with a comic strip drawn on it. 'I'm seeing everything through a comic'. My friends didn't really pay attention to my comment. I looked at a Sex Pistols poster on the wall. Somehow I saw some creature's snout chomping on the Pistols' logo. It looked awesome... just like watching a cartoon.
After a while I knew I had to give my mind some sleep and I just closed my eyes and relaxed. I fell asleep and woke up on time the next day, only with a mild dizziness left. I was still shocked, though, as I remembered the night I had before.
All in all, it was an amazing experience that brought new thoughts into my mind. Yet it was too strong and I don't really feel like doing it again.
*I've decided to quit using Ketamine as I find it has changed my way of seeing life in an uncomfortable way. LSD has given me some awesome new perspectives but K is way different. Ketamine has made me question every single feeling I have. 'Why do I like this girl? Why is this music good? Why? Why? What is this whole thing?' It's just a pain to be questioned like that...
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