It Makes Me Feel Like Me
Clonazepam
Citation:   Brooke. "It Makes Me Feel Like Me: An Experience with Clonazepam (exp61936)". Erowid.org. Dec 9, 2020. erowid.org/exp/61936

 
DOSE:
2 mg oral Pharms - Clonazepam (daily)
BODY WEIGHT: 220 lb
After Ativan There Is Klonopin

I have suffered from clinical depression for about 6 or 7 years. Prior to the depression, I was always a relatively 'happy go lucky' type of young woman. Then, life dealt me some rather devastating blows. Up until 2 years ago, I was self-employed and had no health insurance. I was prescribed Zoloft and at that time, the generic form was not yet available. The zoloft helped, but I couldn't always afford $100 bucks a month and so I would take it on and off for several years....Getting to the point, during these past 6 years I have also suffered from moderate to severe insomnia. So I have also taken Ambien. (works like magic for insomnia).

Less than a year ago, I began to feel anxious a lot. When I would leave my apt. to go to work, when I would walk my dog, sometimes I would just get short of breath and dizzy in the middle of a conversation with someone. So I talked to my GP at the time and she started me off on I think .25mg ativan as needed for anxiety. They worked at first, but I am a big girl and after about a week, I was taking 2-3 of the ativan just to stop the damn anxiety. When I wouldn't take it for a couple of days, I would be on edge like you wouldn't believe. Finally, my dose of ativan was upped to 1mg as needed. But only on a month to month basis. It was sooooo frustrating to have to go back to the doc every single month and pay my co-pay to tell her that, yes, I still need the ativan.

Fast forward to about 3 months ago. A nice lady friend and I began talking about our anxiety and she said that she takes Klonopin. I was out of my Ativan and the doc's office had dropped my insurance and I was freaking out to say the least. She had a lot of .5mg generic klonopin and she took pity on me and gave me a whole bottle of 30. From the first dose that I took of these little yellow pills, I was feeling so much more like 'Me' again. So I found a psychiatrist and told him how well klonopin worked for me vs. the ativan and he was more than happy to prescribe me whatever dosage and quantity I needed. He also did 3 refills so I don't have to feel like some type of fiend and call in every 29 days.

When I take them as directed, they always work. I have experimented with klonopin though, hopeful that if I took a higher dosage I would get a Xanax bar type of buzz. (I have used Xanax recreationally in the past). But I have never gotten a 'buzz' from my klonopin no matter how many I take. The only thing that happens when I take the higher dosages and maybe mix with a drink or two, is I get so exhausted, I simply have no choice but to go to sleep. However, on a side note, 1-2 mg of Klonopin mixed with a few vicodin (which I can rarely get my hands on), is a GREAT BUZZ. Hell, opiates in general are the best buzz to me, hands down. I would rather take hydrocodone, percocet, oxycontin anyday than to ever drink, smoke weed, snort coke, etc... But again, I digress, I will end this report on a very positive note: Klonopin has helped me tremendously with my panic/anxiety and insomnia. I don't care if I take it for the rest of my life. I am ok with that. The only negative I will say is that klonopin does screw with your memory. If I take more than directed, I sometimes forget where I parked my car the next morning or I may forget what I said to someone in a conversation until I am reminded... a couple of times, I have been in such a fog, I have to really focus to remember what day it is. But if I take it as directed, I usually avoid the negatives. Anyway, hope this helps someone....

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 61936
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 9, 2020Views: 1,690
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Pharms - Clonazepam (125) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Medical Use (47), Hangover / Days After (46), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Not Applicable (38)

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