Citation: Spike. "Down the Rabbit Hole: An Experience with LSD, Cannabis & Alprazolam (exp62449)". Erowid.org. Dec 10, 2007. erowid.org/exp/62449
Alright, now through the past couple years I've been smoking pot, occasionally something else, just once or twice, never really stuck with anything else. About a week ago I had the chance to go to my first festival. I was excited. It had been a very long time since I'd had a vacation and this seemed perfect. When I packed I left my cell phone at home specifically for the reason that when I would wake up with my pants on my head imitating the majestic rabbit I would not have discovered that I smashed my phone for the evils of technology. I had some pretty high expectations.
I only had about two hours sleep when the day began because I had to work the night before and then was too excited to go to sleep. Then my friend called me, woke me up, helped me get my stuff into the car and we headed off to pick up the rest of our friends. I’ll call these three people Jim, Tony, and Andrea, though those aren’t their real names. It took us about two more hours before we finally set out because we waited for them to get ready which started when we got there, and then we realized how much we forgot to pack. It was about another three hours till we got to the festival. And maybe another half hour or hour before we had everything set up.
At this point I figure it was somewhere around 4, maybe 5 pm. Time will be completely guesswork in this as I had no watch and there were no clocks. After we set up the tent we set up my hookah and realized we had no water. It was all frozen (never thawed over the entire weekend by the way). We found some guy who had water and invited him back to smoke with us. He left after the bowl was done and then we stayed there smoking until shortly before the sun went down. I was pretty nervous because I’m used to being in a small town where most people would narc, but I tried to push beyond that knowing I was safe there. After all the smoking we walked out to go listen to the bands, and ran into a guy who offered us some more weed. We didn’t buy any of that because our whole group wasn’t together. After we checked out the bands we headed back to get the rest of our people and then back to where we met the guy. Instead we ran into another guy selling dosers. I didn’t know what that meant at first, but Jim told me and then we all decided to get some. We bought two ten-strip gel tabs, one for each pair of us. Then we went back to our tent and now it was time for me to try something new.
It was my first time doing acid and I was kinda nervous. Especially considering they kept telling me “don’t be scared” not in a calming, everything-will-be-alright way, but in an extremely warning way. Jim told me I’d be fine, just take one hit and things would be pretty good, so I did. They told me to just suck on it for a while and not to swallow it, but after a couple minutes I accidentally swallowed it and then got more worried. They said it was fine though, that I just had to suck the acid off and after that much time I did and it didn’t matter if I swallowed it.
We smoked another bowl and I was waiting for the trip to start. I’d heard stories of people I know doing acid and then talking to deer sitting in the back of their cars for an hour. I read Marilyn Manson’s biography and the chapter about his acid trip where the ground turned to frogs. I was really psyched up for some freaky stuff. We busted out some glowsticks and things were cool. They asked if I saw traces of it in the air and I didn’t know what to say, because I did a little but I didn’t know if I was supposed to see that normally and this just made it better or if I wasn’t supposed to see it at all normally. I still didn’t know really if I was tripping or not. Then I looked at the tent wall and saw fluorescent lights moving in a paperclip pattern. When I saw this I thought, that’s kinda cool, but this is vacation, it needs to be huge. So I asked Jim for the rest of my half of the acid.
When we split it up we realized we had an extra two hits so we saved those for the next day and took the rest putting us each at five hits. A couple minutes later we were both staring at one corner of the tent talking about how it seemed to stretch on for about fifty feet. Then I noticed that the glowsticks were the only things in the tent in color. All of our faces, bodies, everything we had in the tent, was all in black and white. I asked the others if it really was, because I didn’t know if that was part of my trip or an effect of the glowsticks. They said it was so I dismissed it, but they were on it too and I read some stuff about acid affecting colorblindness, which I realize is different, but I don’t know.
Also at some point during this time Tony gave me a Xanax. Anyways, after a while we made a trek to the porto-johns and everybody went but me. I had to go, I just didn’t remember that. Jim and I then headed back to the music. About halfway there I went blind. Well, it wasn’t that I couldn’t see, it was that my mind stopped recognizing anything. I could still see normally, but it was such a mystery that it might as well not have been there. I couldn’t identify anything except Jim and darkness. I stopped and he came back to me and said “Have you seen my friend Spike?” I thought he was joking, but later he told me he really lost me. Everything worked out fine and we continued on to the stage.
The music was amazing, I had never heard something that sounded so wonderful. I started dancing as best I could. I never dance, or sing, or shout, or anything, I’m very quiet and reserved because I’m very timid. Almost immediately after I started dancing people came up to me looking for cid. I guess I was kinda obvious, but I told them I didn’t have any. Then the band finished their song and everyone cheered. I felt it was something I had to join in on. I really felt the need to cheer. For a moment I thought maybe my cheering would suck, but I did it anyway. I just let loose. I looked at Jim. Half his face was gone. Like a cartoon character in a shadow. It was just completely black and mostly shapeless. I started laughing because I knew this was shaping up to be a hell of a vacation. The band was nearly done when I got nervous again. There were so many people I thought I might be lost. I turned to Jim and asked him if he was Jim and then we left. After later reviewing the band schedule I believe this was at about midnight. He said everything was ok and we headed back to the tent to smoke some more.
On the way I was stopped by two teenage guys who came up to me and were like “Isn’t that tent amazing? It’s white. And just look at it.” or something like that. They were really into the tent. I admired it along with them. They asked me if I wanted to come back to their tent with them and I said sure. Within the two minutes or so between being lost and now I was completely laid back. I was up for anything. We started heading toward their tent and I heard one of them say something about picking my pocket so I walked back to Jim who was just standing there laughing at me. The other guys seemed kind of disappointed, but I didn’t want to get robbed. Before we got back to the tent I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. So we changed course for the porto-johns again. When we got there, I stopped. Jim assured me that we were at the bathroom, but I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t see the porto-johns anywhere. Giving up on that we finally made our way back to the tent.
Jim suggested going to bed, but I told him that I couldn’t figure out how pockets work, much less a tent. I was at the time trying to figure out if my hands were in my pockets or not. We decided to go to our hang out area instead and smoke a bowl which was the original plan. Tony and Andrea had disappeared but we knew we’d see them the next day. We didn’t really talk because it was hard to do at this point. We just warmed ourselves with the stove and sat there for a while before heading to the sleeping tent. Also I remember saying “I thought the exit was over there.” pointing to the opposite corner of the exit. I’m still fairly certain it was at one point.
We got inside, laid down and I couldn’t figure out how to use the covers. I had a sheet on me, laying on top of the sleeping bag instead of in it and I was so cold that I didn’t want to try harder and maybe lose that. We couldn’t sleep at all because we were tripping pretty hard. This was the first I really noticed the visuals since Jim’s face disappeared. There was a medusa on the wall, and a million images going through my head in seconds. We tried to talk, but it felt like our minds were moving too fast for our mouths to keep up, so after about three words we’d lose whatever we were saying. We did manage a few clear statements about how we needed heat and light from no source, how I felt connected to everyone there though I wasn’t sure if I’d actually even met any of them, and that neither of us was clear on whether we’d slept at all.
I kept thinking about Alaskan sled dogs, how when they’re running a race, they’ll sleep and keep running. I thought maybe it was working in reverse for me. I also thought that by laying down I was giving sleep to others there. It was the only explanation I felt made any sense for why I was so unclear on whether I myself had slept - that we were all contributing to the collective sleep of each other. At one point I remember asking what time it was, but Jim didn’t know so I said “I think it’s two.” for no reason other than it felt like two and we agreed on this. Mostly though, we just kept saying “What is anything?” and “Cold is unhappy.” until we finally got up to go back to the hang out area and warm ourselves with the stove.
Once there we also picked up the words “hydration” and “food.” Also there was sunlight so light was no longer important enough to mention. I felt very much like a caveman. We tried to make grilled cheese and hot dogs, but weren’t very successful. “Fuck sandwhich” became our new statement for a while as we ate cold hot dogs and plain bread. I was convinced the bread was actually a rabbit because it looked fluffy. When eating a hot dog (sitting in a different seat, though I don’t remember moving) I had to ask what I was eating because it felt like my fingers and I was worried that I would wake up with bloody finger stubs. We tried frying the water bottles so we had something to drink but it didn’t work very well, and before long we had drained the first propane tank for the stove, leaving only one for the next day and a half so we headed to the car for warmth instead. We took a bottle of water and it melted a little, enough for a few swallows. We were all toasty and warm, so we went back to the tent and finally fell asleep.
When the next day started I felt the most normal I’d ever felt in my life. I walked around the festival like it was my home. I considered all the people my neighbors. I went to a vendor and got some food then headed back to the hang out spot to smoke some more with my friends and take my last hit of acid. This trip was much less than the night before. About the only freaky thing was when the tent would sometimes get really bright and I would think I was in a government testing lab or an igloo. Jim left to do his own thing and I didn’t see him again until very late that night. Tony, Andrea, and I spent the whole day at that spot smoking pot and talking. Not a bad way to spend a day, just not as exciting as the day before.
We used up the rest of the propane and could have easily froze to death that night I think. I’m surprised we didn’t. At one point we took about six hookah charcoals and lit them in the center of us, but that didn’t really do anything. Jim came back and he and then said he was going to the car for warmth. I wanted to go along, but didn’t for a very long time. It reminded me of a health class video about a guy with hypothermia who thought he could keep himself warm with a lighter instead of fresh clothes or going to his car. It got colder and the rain never let up so eventually we left the area. Tony and Andrea headed back to their tent, and I headed for the car. It wasn’t that comfortable but I got sleep.
The next day we smoked a bowl, packed up to leave, smoked another bowl and headed home. We all fell asleep on the way, which could have been bad considering Jim was driving, but it worked out fine. I walked in my house and thought, “it’s warm, I have food, I can sleep all day, I wish I was back at the festival.”
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