DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	MDMA
T+ 1:00	100 mg	insufflated	DPT
T+ 9:00	1 bowl	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

This was it! The first attempt at seriously going beyond the pale. I had no idea what I was in for. Previous to this I had only experienced two small dose Mushroom trips and numerous ecstasy trips. They were interesting but were not the experience I had been hoping for. I was raised in a very Fundamentalist Christian tradition and had been recently introduced to Gnosticism. This was my attempt to attain a direct experience of God. I have admit that I was extremely nervous of this endeavor, but knew that I had to attain the Gnosis that was calling to me.

Two of my best friends and I had decided to take this Journey. Soma and Silence I will call them. Soma, being the hardened veteran of the psychoactive realm, was our designated leader for this expedition. All of us being outdoors type of people we decided to retreat to the relatively quiet realm of the national park nearby. A pretty famous park at that. Joshua Tree! Gotta love that place! A camp site was decided upon, well into the netherlands of the park, 6 or so miles from the parking lot. This was Silence's first ever experiment (and last for that matter). Soma had tried DPT on 3 previous occasions and other psychoactive plants and chemicals in plethora. He decided that we ought to add a little EX to try and help with the difficult ride to the top that DPT is famous for. We had arrived at a point that was roughly 2 miles from our destination when we swallowed our pill cocktails. Vit. C, E, B12, and copious amounts of 5-HTP along with our double stacked E pills (Sorry, cannot for the life of me remember the name of the E pill).

30 minutes or so later we arrived at our designated camp spot. Soma and I began unpacking and arranging the camp spot while Silence went to go sit up on a rock and watch the sun set. All preparations set, Soma began measuring out the DPT on his electronic scale that he had brought. Soma and I were beginning to feel the first slight effects of the E. Silence did not seem to notice the E at all at that point. Not that it ended up mattering. That DPT doesn't seem to like competition. Soma has decided that a dosage of 100mg for myself and 40mg for Silence will be sufficient for what we want. Soma doles out 150mg for himself. As he would say 'NOT RECOMMENDED BY THE FDA THATS FOR SURE!'.

Shortly after sunset, 6:00 pm or so, we insuffalated our medicine. I was first up to bat with Soma being second and Silence last. Never having insuffalated anything before I was unprepared for the burning and bitterness. I was also unable to get the whole dose on the first try and had to switch nostrils and get the rest of it. I went to my lawn chair to await the apocalypse. I didn't have to wait long. 10 minutes or so. I began to complain of not feeling right. LOL! No shit sherlock! I felt completely drained as if I was in desperate need of sleep. Slumping into my chair with my eyelids drooping I contemplated the feeling that I was in the path of eminent doom. Soma noticing my state of mind came over, took me by the shoulders, and shook me. 'Wake up man! You can't let it beat you this quick! If that happens you are done for!' So rousing myself up out of the chair I took a deep breath and WHAMO! nausea and intense vibrations pulsated through my body. The earth started undulating all around me. 'I don't know what to do.' I said pathetically. 'Go meditate' suggested Soma. Fumbling with my CD player I put on some Celtic music that I was taken with at the time I walked over to a soft sandy spot near the camp site and rested myself in the kneeling position.

Looking out to the west at the dieing sunlight I noticed that the landscape was becoming more and more unstable. The hill just off to my right was suddenly on my left and the cactus on my right was suddenly on my left. Things would become startlingly close then infinatly far. In fact as time progressed I couldn't count on anything in the outside world to stay where it was supposed to. I found the experience to be most uncomfortable so I decided that perhaps closing my eyes would be a better option. Upon closing my eyes my whole field of vision came alive with swirling metallic rainbow colors that finally took shape of that of the real landscape outside of me. The phenomena of 360* vision was also present. The hill was where it was supposed to be. The cactus was where it was supposed to be. The undulations of the ground were just like the 'real' one on the outside. They were all made up of this rainbow metallic colors that I can't give justice too. In fact they were like tiny cords of this light that made up my field of vision. The only thing that was not present were my friends and our various implements of humanity.

At this point my breathing became very heavy and deep. My body felt like it was on fire. That is the best description I can make of the feeling anyway. More like a burning from the inside out as opposed to the outside in you normally think of when contemplating being on fire. My nausea was also becoming worse at this point. Breathing became my whole existence. This is where things start getting really interesting. As I breathed the tiny cords that made up the landscape started pulsating in time with my breathing. Energy from this landscape pulsed in from all around directly towards me and into me. As the energy entered me it came against resistance. Strangely enough it was at the location of the 1st Chakra. The feeling of being on fire was intensified in that area. I kept breathing heavily and deeply. The energy kept pulsating into me and further up me bit by bit with each breath. It was always met with resistance but progress up the conduits of energy within my body was definitely noticeable. The feeling of fire followed upwards as well until at last we reached the location of the 6th Chakra.

As the energy cleansed the 6th Chakra I threw up. Interesting to note that at exactly the same moment Soma vomited as well. Also as a side note I noticed when I opened my eyes to vomit that the three of us were all kneeling in the shape of a triangle, but shortly after this Soma had to get up and walk around. He was most definitely NOT having a good time. He interacted with quite a few unpleasant entities that night.

After closing my eyes again post vomit I took an especially deep breath and the energy followed suit but this time there was no impediments to the energy coursing thru me. The landscape melted away and those metallic rainbow colors became more intense and vivid. All sense of time was lost. All sense of body was lost. No thoughts were to be had. I did not even notice if I was breathing. I would say that I was going up and up and up. Higher and higher into this timeless place, but that would not be quite right. It seemed more as if it were going round and round. Unutterable peace, love, goodness and light was all that I was able to understand. Blissfully I remained in that state for I don't know how long. It could not have been more than an hour and a half though. Eventually the light took on a very vague shape. In fact I would have to say that if a vaginal canal could be made of light this was it. Noticing this I pushed forward into that light. I thought that there must be something more just thru that 'hole' right there in the middle, but it was not to be. As I tried to delve further a 'voice', not really an audible voice as such, said something to the effect, 'sorry, not for you to go there right now, your friends need you...' And just like that I was out of it.

Opening my eyes I found that the landscape still would not stay put. Not even the stars would stay put. They would come flying down out of the sky and right into my eyes in a flash of blinding light. This left me feeling very disoriented and my body was also not responding very well to my thoughts of walking and whatnot. That had to be worked through though for upon coming back I found Soma in a state of terror and panic. He kept muttering something to the effect that there was far too many evil entities around. I took him by the shoulders and said, 'Buddy! look at me. Just look at me. Tell me whats going on.' He began describing what he was seeing to me.

'I am in the middle of a coliseum, there are a couple demons right by me and in the stands there are thousands and thousands of demons looking on. They are CRUCIFYING ME!' exclaimed Soma. 'Well fuck that!' I said. I asked Silence to come join us as he was still sitting there in the sand. GROUP HUG! I prayed that my friends may be able to go to that place of love and light with me. I closed my eyes again and there I was though not quite as intensely as before. There was no talking or moving on any of our parts for about 15 minutes as we rested in the light.

I was completely content to stay in that light, but Soma finally said, 'Ok, thats enough! If we stay there too long we'll never come back. That'll be it for us!' I did not feel the same, but as he was the one having a hard time I did not argue. He was noticeably calmer and more sure that he was going to pull through. So at least we got accomplished what I had hoped to accomplish. Soma said he needed to go be alone and off he went. I turned to Silence and asked him what had just happened to him as I was curious if my prayer had been answered. He responded, 'That was completely peaceful'. We made our way to our chairs and sat down. I was feeling so excited that something that GOOD actually existed that I just kept saying over and over how good everything was. Silence commented that he felt as though he was at a cross-road so to speak and that while he watched me ascend and Soma descend he was unable to go either way. He was frightened of both paths. The time at this point was roughly 10 p.m. We spent the rest of the night, Silence and I, talking about the nature of God and where life would take us from here. Slowly the landscape had started maintaining its normal form and glimpses up at the stars was incredible. They were still moving but more in a way of just being excited to be alive. Eventually Soma came back from his solitude and announced that he needed a bath. Silence was pretty much back to normal at that point so he began packing up our stuff. Once all our stuff was put away we broke out the weed pipe and passed it around. It was roughly 2 a.m. We arrived back at the car at roughly 4 a.m. I was feeling pretty cracked out by that time. More than likely the E pill finally making it's presence known. The weed seemed to help with that feeling. Silence drove back as Soma and I were still feeling too weird to drive.

Summary:

This was a true transcendent experience for me. I have felt more alive ever since this experience. The most major change that I noticed in my psyche post trip was no longer fearing death since I understood what truly awaits me on the other end. I don't think I could have asked for a better gift of freedom.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 62746
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 22, 2007	Views: 20,892
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Meditation (128), DPT (21), MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2)