Citation: Sangye. "An Eagle, Soaring Through Space: An Experience with DXM (exp63413)". Erowid.org. Jul 19, 2009. erowid.org/exp/63413
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Yesterday I had my first DXM trip which was really quite an interesting experience, it's inspired me to research the drug, and to share the details of my [probably quite mundane] trip. First off, I'm 230lbs (~105 kg), and took a 3-part dose for a total of 1062mg -- approximately 9.65 mg / kg, putting me right in the middle of 3rd plateau doses. My experiences are consistent with what Dextroverse has down for this plateau:
'3rd Plateau: 7.5-15 mg/kg - This level has strong intoxications and hallucinations. Things can become very confusing as your thinking processes are disturbed. You can sometimes daze-off into your own world, and get lost in your own mind. Trips in this plateau can sometimes be unpleasant.'
What follows is the basic chronology of my experience, which I'll discuss more in-depth afterwards.
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4:10pm - Took 6 fl. oz of Robitussin Maximum Strength (15mg DXM / 5ml), or 531mg of DXM.
4:15pm - Dry mouth with a lingering unpleasant taste.
4:20pm - Noted 'tingling' in extremities, with numb fingertips (psychosomatic?).
4:30pm - Vision increasingly sluggish, especially when moving head around. Light-headedness and slight nausea noted.
5:10pm - Strong light-headedness, pronounced tunnel vision, euphoria.
5:20pm - Finished 8 fl. oz 15mg DXM / 5ml bottle (an additional 177mg), for a combined total of 708mg of DXM.
5:25pm - I blame this on the already present neurological effects, but at this point I took another 4 fl. oz of 15mg DXM / 5ml (an additional 354mg), for a final total of 1062mg of DXM. In hindsight I see taking this large of a dose on my first trip as irresponsible, and would advise against it to others.
5:45pm - Feeling increasingly euphoric, everything around me seems more pronounced visually and I decide to take a walk in the afternoon park. As I stand up I promptly collapse back into my chair, realizing that I won't be able to walk, I'm extremely dizzy and my vision seems to be lagging behind by a lot. I instead open iTunes and start an Andain / Buddha Bar / Enya / Hooverphonic / Moby / Shpongle / Tristania playlist.
6:00pm - Everything around me is gradually becoming distorted, straight lines are becoming wavy, and I keep tilting my head from side to side as such subtle changes result in a radically different perception of the 3d world around me. It also seems though as my two eyes are no longer synchronized. I don't quite know how to describe this, but I experienced vision differently for the following few hours -- almost as though my two eyes reported stimuli individually, and the reports of these stimuli were never merged into a single image. It wasn't like double vision, in which two sets of visual stimuli are merged but are offset, I was literally experiencing vision through both eyes seperately.
6:10pm - I feel as though I'm melding into my chair, I become somewhat unaware of my body, as my thoughts float in no particular direction. I can't fully recall the specific details of my trip from here until a few hours later, but I do recall a growing appreciation for the music that I had been listening to. I had earlier read that DXM users report this effect, so I may have been expecting it with the possibility of a psychosomatic confirmation bias, but I definitely enjoyed the effects that the music at least seemed to have on me. At this point I also noticed that my face was entirely numb.
6:15pm (?) - I began hallucinating at this point. My first hallucination was closed-eye and exceedingly abstract. I saw myself from a 3rd-person-perspective as an eagle flying above an abstract, geometric background. It was very cartoonish (reminded me of 'The Wall'), and I melded into what appeared to be the 3rd Reich eagle. I had been unconsciously spreading my arms outward, which apparently disturbed my roommate next to me who was cooking dinner (I hadn't told him that I would be taking DXM), and a remark brought me back to this world as I opened my eyes. As I looked at him, I stared blankly and had no idea what this foreign intruder wanted. I was subconsciously trying to 'snap out of it', but I continued to stare with my arms spread out, at which point he must have turned back to his Ramen, as I don't remember anything else about interacting with him.
6:20pm - I noticed the powerful effect that moving my arms around me had, and put myself back into my previous hallucination by spreading my arms outwards again and closing my eyes. This time it was less abstract and more vivid, and I believe it was either in the first-person or not from any specific perspective at all, I seemed to simply experience it, without a necessarily distinguishable point of view. I am in space, soaring between celestial bodies and through clouds of stellar dust, totally seperated from any previous notions of 'self'. I'm overcome by an incredible feeling of well-being, and am unaware of my own physical manifestation for a good deal of time. Every beat of the music was like a pang of orgasmic perfection, and my hallucination synchronized itself eerily with what I was listening to. A desk fan was blowing in my face the whole time, which felt immensely pleasurable.
7:10pm - I open my eyes and everything is still very distorted. My dry-mouth must have become a lot worse, although I didn't experience the sensations in my mouth in those terms. There was a bottle of water sitting next to me, but it seemed to be in a different reality. I was staring at it for what must have been quite some time, but I simply couldn't bring myself to reach out and grab it. I can't describe what was going on in my mind at that point other than that I felt disconnected from the reality around me, and that I couldn't affect the bottle in any way. I closed my eyes and must have continued to trip, although I don't recall any of it. I was aware of my arms moving though, usually either being held outward or clenched to the back of my head.
8:00pm - I lapsed out of whatever dream world I had been in at this point and went online to report my experiences thus far on some online web forums. I found typing coherently unusually difficult and time-consuming, and soon gave up out of frustration. I got up to relieve myself in the bathroom, which was difficult as I was still extremely dizzy with intense tunnel vision. Aware of the distorted-mirror-effect cliche of tripping, I took some time to stare at myself in the mirror. While I wasn't aware of any hallucinations, it was an emotionally powerful state, I was staring at myself and thinking about what my life was about, what my purpose on this earth was, and if thinking about it in terms of a 'purpose' was legitimate at all. Quite the science-worshipping nihilist when sober, I was surprised by the decidedly metaphysical and even theological framing that my mind applied to such trains of thought.
8:10pm - Back at my computer, I felt like experiencing similar hallucinations while listening to music to which I had strong emotional connotations, after seeing how deeply the music I had been listening to affected my state of mind. I loaded up a playlist of Bob Marley, The Byrds, CCR, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Dire Straits (with some of Mark Knopfler's solo work), The Eagles, and the Moody Blues.
8:15pm - I must have been past the peak effect at this point because I didn't experience any fully detached hallucinations like I had between 6 and 8 pm. I closed my eyes and saw various childhood memories being played out before me, all in an ecstatic yet tragically nostalgic haze, but I was aware of my own physical countenance for the duration. I was getting very emotional, and felt as though my life was a terrible waste. Aware of my previous history of depression, I was consciously changing where my trains of thought would lead during this time. This conscious involvement was frustrating, and I felt like all that I wanted in the world at that point was to simply 'let go'. If the DXM were still at its full effect, I think I would have.
8:55pm - After going through my whole childhood in a half-dreaming state of mind, I again lapsed out and felt a significantly diminishing effect of the DXM. I again tried to type out my experiences in the web forum to a similarly frustrating failure as the previous attempt, and resolved to carry on a more informal conversation with whoever might be on AOL Instant Messenger. My friend in whom I generally confide psychadelic experiences wasn't online, and after starting a conversation with another friend, I started to feel disconnected from the world again. I was aware of my state of mind being totally different from that exhibited by who I was talking with, and decided that I was wasting my time trying to interact with a world in which I wasn't truly 'present'.
9:45pm - After spending some more time browsing YouTube and listening to music with my eyes closed, enjoying what were by then nothing more than abstract and geometric closed-eye visuals, I resolved to lie down in bed. Again, I was extremely dizzy and actually stumbled into my roommate's chair who at this point must have realized that I was tripping. After criss-crossing my room I finally made it into bed. I felt very warm (feverish, even), and wasn't able to go to sleep for a while. I also had notable stomach discomfort again.
10:00 - 11:00pm - I spent a while enjoying closed-eye visuals, which were constantly morphing. The most notable of these began as a morphing 3-dimensional world that reminded me a lot of the print on the backs of Bicycle playing cards, it was interesting to see how more and more realized patterns emerged out of the simplest patterns, and I soon was seeing a collossal scarab beetle walking through this strange world like a gigantic machine. At some point I drifted off to some of the best sleep I've ever had.
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After-effects (next day):
I woke up the following morning feeling *extremely* good -- better than I have after waking up in several years. It was beyond being well-rested (which certainly was a factor, however, as I rarely sleep that much), everything seemed to radiate intense beauty and happiness, and I had an unusually positive outlook on the day.
At around 7pm in the evening I noted stomach discomfort, which was quickly followed by explosive diarrhea. I'm not quite sure what caused this as I never read anything about diarrhea in the many trip recollections that I had read.
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Overall, I definitely enjoyed my first DXM experience. It's an interesting drug that, in sufficient doses, can really take me to a different world. I'm also afraid of its toxicity and the potential for psychological dependence, however, and will err on the side of caution around it. The most powerful effect for me was the way that music was incorporated into my own reality. I need to stress the word 'reality', because I was truly in a different reality around the peak of my experience, everything that I had ever thought and been felt distant.
The intense feelings of well-being and general euphoria / happyness were also, needless to say, thoroughly enjoyable. I think it's an effective dissociative that'll both provide intriguingly distant perspectives, and a chance to leave the world entirely for a few hours.
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