Citation: MDMA. "Is Anybody Out There?: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis (exp63537)". Erowid.org. Jul 26, 2010. erowid.org/exp/63537
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About four months ago, I did ecstasy for my second time with my boyfriend. My experience was so far-fetched, I feel the need to share it with the public. This is the type of story that may as well be started from the beginning, so here it goes:
I was spending the night with my boyfriend, and we didn't really have anything to do, so we called up a friend of his to see if he could get the e for us. He agreed, and we met up with him about two hours later, payed him, and went back home. It was around 8:30 pm and this time, and we decided to take them as soon as we got in, even though his parents were merely a flight of stairs away. So after taking them, we filled a jug full of water and brought some glasses downstairs where we would spend the duration of our 'trip'.
About ten minutes after taking the first pill, I could already feel the effects of the drug taking over, though they were very mild and almost unnoticable. But while I was beginning to leave my normal state, my boyfriend started getting really sick. He was drooling everywhere, and became very scared. He asked me to roll him a joint to help ease the pain in his stomach. As soon as he asked me this, panic took over. I had never rolled a joint before, and I didn't know if I could do it, when I was slowly leaving reality. So I fished some papers out of his pocket and began cutting the weed. Just as I was doing this, his mom walked downstairs. I decided I would try to play it cool, and I gave her a little wave, and smiled, but on the inside my stomach was twisting, what if she knew what we were doing, what if she asked why her son was sick?
But thankfully, no questions were asked, she just took up a basket of laundry, and we were alone again. By this time, my boyfriend seemed to be feeling a whole lot better, and suddenly I felt a sense of extreme relief, I would no longer have to roll that joint. Just when my boyfriend takes the papers and weed from me, and I go to sit on the couch, his stepdad walks downstairs, saying there is something wrong with the washing machine. Even though his stepdad was standing there, talking to me, and asking how this machine worked, I felt an extreme sense of calm, as if it wouldn't matter if he found out, everything would always be okay. So after discussing the washing machine issue with him for about 10 minutes, he finally left, and my boyfriend, finally feeling better, came to sit with me.
By this time, it was around 9:30, and we could finally hear his parents going to bed, and I was finally starting to feel the effects I'd been craving for a long time. Euphoria started kicking in, as well as distorted images of his basement. We had the joint going in an ashtray, and I was very intrigued by the way the smoke looked as it circled about the room. But my happiness left as soon as it came when my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. I felt as though he was abandoning me, and I would never see him again. After several minutes of arguing, I finally let him go, and I sat by myself thinking about the events of the night to come.
As I sat there, I started thinking about my life. I was wondering what my brother and sisters were doing at home, and how they would feel if they knew I was sitting in this boy's basement on a drug I always swore I would never do. Thinking these thoughts started to make me sad, so I decided to focus on a painting of some trees that was hanging on the wall. Just as my mind was starting to ease back into a calmer state, I noticed a face in the painting. The face did not scare me, but it made me very uneasy. As if somehow someone would find out what I'm doing, and I would be in trouble. So I tried to focus away from the painting and I started feeling the different textures of the couch instead. This was really pleasing me, and I got so lost in feeling the couch, that I didn't even notice my boyfriend sitting beside me again.
When I noticed that he was there, I immediately said hi, gave him a big smile and kiss and told him how much I truly cared for him. When I said these things to him, it seemed to make the euphoria intensify, so I kept repeating 'I love you' in a low whisper. Then I realized that he was gone for a VERY long time. When I checked the clock to see how long he was actually gone for, I realized that it had only been five minutes, and the night was still very long. But no matter. My boyfriend just informed me that he needed to have a shower because he needed to be clean because he, like me, was on a very dirty drug. As soon as he said that, I started feeling dirty. It was as if the words took over and stuck in my head. As soon as I started feeling high, he made me very low again, I became upset. So to make me feel better he offered to have sex, which I accepted gladly. After the sex, I only started getting higher from there.
Soon we decided to smoke another joint. It was around 10:15 and I wanted to time how long it took to smoke it, but instead he told me to enjoy the joint to myself, as it would be much better. I was instructed to completely clear my head and just puff away on it. I did so, and completely lost track of time. By the time I realized what I was doing it was exactly 10:26. I thanked him for the amazing experience, and sat there happily for what seemed like hours. When I finally checked the time again, it was only 10:29. This upset me, as I kept misjudging everything.
I figured it was my boyfriends fault, so I took my attention elsewhere: to his cat, curled up in the middle of the floor. I started talking to her, and telling her everything about me. To my surprise, she was answering me, in a voice so low, that only I was able to hear. This suited me perfectly, as I didn't want my boyfriend to hear our conversation. An hour later I decided I should pay attention to my boyfriend again, but when I turned to face him he was crying. I asked him what was wrong, but got no answer, and he wouldn't look at me. I became very upset, and wondered what could possibly be wrong when I started hearing whispers. I quickly looked around, but no one was there. I asked if my boyfriend said anything and he said no.
After about ten more minutes of sitting there in silence, I heard 'what?!' and I looked and my boyfriend was looking at me. So I replied 'I didn't say anything'. So we sat there deep in thought when he asked who I was talking to earlier. I told him that his cat and I were having a nice conversation. He informed me that his cat wasn't there, and I was talking to myself, and that is why he was crying, he thought the drug had made me crazy. Instead of being upset about this, I hugged him, and told him everything would be alright, I was just 'feelin' really gooooood' and everything would be alright. And I truly felt this.
This is when things started to become very weird. It was now approximately 11, and I was at my peak and so was he. But when we started coming down, the room seemed to change. Everything seemed to be tinted purple, and we could see tumble weeds blowing by, as well as hearing a really loud wind. We figured it was time to take the rest of our pills, so we did so (one and a half each).
But instead of making things better, things only got worse. Every ten seconds I would hear whispering, but no one was talking. I also started becoming very paranoid that we were being watched, and that I really was going crazy. As well I kept shivering, and my eyes kept rolling back in my head. But the problems with my eyes and mouth were the least of my worries. I knew for a fact I was going crazy. My boyfriend was hearing voices as well, as he kept shouting 'WHAT?!' every ten minutes or so. Once we realized we were both hearing things, we got really scared, and just held each other for what seemed like days. When I checked the clock, I realized that we had been sitting like that for 3 hours (it was then 2 in the morning). So we decided to get up and walk over to the computer to smoke another joint.
By this time, alot of the high had worn off, and I was able to have a semi civil conversation with my boyfriend, and he could talk to me too. This made us feel a whole lot better. So we both sat there in what seemed like a trance for the next hour or so. During this time, I was feeling every last bit of the high as I possibly could. I was feeling how it felt to touch myself in different places (my hair, my skin, my fingerprints, my clothing, etc.). And my head was swimming, and I was very content with how things were going. So much in fact that I began drifting into a sleep.
Just as I started to doze off though, my boyfriend woke me up and told me I had been sitting there like that for an hour and a half, and I was scaring him. Seeing how worried he looked, I stopped, and told him that I thought we should go to bed. So he agreed, and we finished off the last of the jug of water (which we had been drinking throughout the course of the night, I just forgot to mention it along the way) and made our way upstairs. Once we got up there, we crawled into bed, still a little high (mostly from the weed though) told ourselves we loved each other, and drifted off to sleep. And this concludes a very strange and life altering experience for me. And while I am unsure whether I ever want to mess with drugs again, I will always remember this experience. I hope this helps anyone who has every had anything similar happen to them.
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