Nothing and Everything ...
Citation: Joseph. "Nothing and Everything ...: An Experience with 2C-B (exp63613)". Erowid.org. Dec 15, 2008. erowid.org/exp/63613
| T+ 1:00
I will begin with my experience with drugs so far. Over my days i have smoked alot of marijuana, tried DXM a handful of times, smoked salvia two or three times, tried BZP a few times, tried E once and nitrous oxide once. With this experience i thought i was ready for some nice psychedelic experiences, something i could use to help me find some meaning to life. Then not long after, a friend told me he could get me some 2C-B, i knew nothing of this drug so bought two 20mg doses and stashed them in my room for a
suitable day and time. Did a little research on it, then got some mates down here for us to try it on a Friday night after i finished work at 1am.
1am - Start taking some bong hits
1.45am - We are all very nice and high after doing stupid amounts of bong hits and a couple of very unsuccessful buckets.
2am - Me and one mate decide we will take the 2C-B, we take the 2C-B and smoke a little bit more weed, i then made everyone some nice sandwiches (mayonnaise and bread) which everyone admits to them being the best sandwiches they have ever eaten, one of my friends even say it was better than the McDonald's he had for dinner. Me and my friend who took the 2C-B choose not to eat so we don't affect the 2C-B in any way. Time goes by as we are all talking about stupid stuff and we wrote down:
'I cant eat this food fast enough for the amount that I like it.'
(apparently perfect explanation for the munchies)
'its like spelling acients, like learning han'
(don't know what this one was about)
(apparently perfect explanation to being too high)
Because we were sure they were of some greater meaning. So far everything just seems normal like we are all high.
2.45am - I decide i need to go to the toilet, get to the toilet and while I'm doing my business i look at the toilet and realize that there are patterns twisting around inside the toilet bowl, i take note that i think i have just experienced the first effects of the 2C-B, i then look at the wall and realize that everything is actually producing patterns and nice mild but the most visual effects i have got from any drug i have tried. I run up and tell my mate about the visuals I'm having and try get him to go to the toilet to try see them, he walks down and walks back looking disappointed saying 'what am i looking for?', he then sits down and i insist he focuses on a picture on the wall he does, and then he also notices and tells me.
3-4am - We spend a lot of time telling our friends about the visual effects and just watching them for a while. The visual effects keep growing and growing and things were starting to get intense. All the pictures in my room, especially this big one with trees on it, the trees were growing and the flowers were blossoming it was very intense. I spent a good amount of time just watching the visuals, i had sort have lost track of time and was just having fun looking at random things. Then things started to get scary... I realized that the patterns were actually nothing, and were just part of existence, and if it wasn't for everything and nothing, there would be no way for us to even see them. Then it hit me and my mate, we both had been put in the same place. In a state where our humanly senses were no longer blocking the 'truth'.
We looked at life, and it hit me that life is literally nothing, and nothing is everything. And in reality there is no darkness yet no light and all we are is a part of nothingness on a path that cant be changed. I was sitting about to say something and knew saying anything wouldn't mean anything and my mate was doing the same thing. We laughed about how obvious it is, and how stupid it is that sober humans cannot see it. I kept getting deeper into the state of how life is nothing and everything is nothing and everything and nothing is happening in all directions, where time doesn't exist but will keep happening for eternity and what is put in front of us is nothing, there is no way to understand it properly if you haven't experienced it.
I then nearly lost my stomach (not because of nausea, but because of what i had realized), nearly throwing up and then breaking a tear of sadness about how pointless human life is. After a while of talking to my mate saying 'we are just on 2C-B', and 'but it doesn't matter because....' (that sentence was never finished off because we both knew, no matter what was said it wouldn't change the path of nothingness). After what seemed like hours of going in and out of that horrible state of absolute hell, my mate stood up and said 'I'm a lot more sober than you think', he then woke up all our sleeping friends (i didn't notice any of them fall asleep) and told them its time to go home, so he drove 3 of them home and left one asleep on my couch. I'm sitting thinking to myself why is he sober and I'm still tripping balls as bad as ever? I got scared and thought i would just sleep it off. [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
4-8 am - I lay in bed closed my eyes and was welcomed with billions of patterns and visuals that i couldn't stand. So i opened my eyes and tried no to focus on anything but no matter where i looked or didn't look there was still some kind of scary visual that led to the whole reason for life. I lay for about 2 hours, still tripping hard with bad thoughts running through my head, i then thought i would just be stuck in this state forever because i knew the 'truth' (well what seemed to be the truth at the time) i just lay awake all night praying to get out of this state, not caring if i was dead or alive because i would still be a part of nothingness and everything, thinking i knew exactly how the universe functions i thought no matter what, life would be dull. I slowly slowly slooowly started floating back into my humanly self. Then at 8am my mother woke up, and i managed to say good morning, and i got up to have a cup of tea.
8am - Feeling pretty much away from all the effects of the drug i felt normal, except extremely changed, i felt like life would never be the same and there is no way I'm going to be able just to enjoy life anymore.
The rest of the day i still felt crap, had 2 hours sleep from 2pm-4pm, then had work from 6pm - 1am which didn't help, life still felt crap and i was insanely depressed but could act happy and pretend i was fine. The next day was also quite bad but a tiny bit better. Its like if someone told you something you know for sure is the truth, and you trying to dismiss it as a lie, thats how it felt for me trying to get over my bad experience.
It is now two days after my experience and I'm finally getting a grip of my sanity that i felt like it could just be lost if i thought bad thoughts or about my trip too deeply. I am never again going to mess with Psychedelic drugs. Marijuana and E for me only. If you plan on taking drugs to find a reason or meaning to life, i suggest you change your plan and don't. I don't think we are supposed to know...
If hell feels like anything, i would say it is like being permanently stuck in that state. Not just the state but stuck in that experience, if it was real there is no way to die, no way to live, and I am just a part of nothing and everything.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.