DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

I have used ecstasy many times in the past eighteen months, each time is different, absorbing, and magical. This particular night found me and my two best friends (T & C) alone together in our town, ready for anything. I remained sober for the beginning of our night while the other two drank quite a bit of alcohol. To this day I believe alcohol diminishes the effects of E, and wouldn’t recommend it at all. At 12.30am we all dropped together. The usual chemical taste settled on my tongue as I quickly downed a glass of water. We three girls always drop together in the same way ('one, two, three swallow') then we wait to come on.

I have a theory about coming on, the way I come on is the way I will stay, that is to say if I'm on the dance floor enjoying the moment I will stay there all night, if I'm sitting in conversation, then that too is where I will find myself at the end of the night. Both ways have there upsides, however when I’m out with these girls it is the dance floor where I want to be.

The first feeling I get is a kind of jittery, unemotional soulful beat that pounds from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I generally can be caught staring upward to the strobe light. My friend C equates coming on with a skinniness in her hands especially, “skinny fingers” is a fair sign that we’re in for a good roll. This night it took about 40 minutes to come on, and it came on strong. First thing I needed to do was move, and keep moving. Left, right, jump up, crouch down, two step, one step, pause, begin again. Its rhythmic, the essence of the music rolls over me, through my heart which beats in time, and to put it crassly I feel beautiful. More beautiful then I could ever normally feel. Like everything about me is perfect. My mouth is dry but I still talk about how good I feel. About how good the lighting is. I close my eyes, and my other senses take over. The way my shirt feels on my skin soft and flowing. The way the sweat and smoke and people smell sweet and damp, the way the chewy in my mouth is cold. Dance. Dance with strangers, dance with friends. Stand alone in the middle of the dance floor, completely still and marvel in the beauty, in the very creation of the people there.

These pills gave an amazing 5-6 hour roll. The whole time I'm loved up. This is not to be mistaken with feeling horny, it’s totally different. Just touching someone makes me feel so so connected to them. Kissing my friends is natural, it’s basic and primal. Hugging and tickling and holding hands. It all comes easily. Strangers become friends. And when at 5am the club closed we had a group of people coming home with us. As the sun cracked the darkened sky we sat up talking deeply about life. It all seems simple, all my problems could be fixed so easily, it was clear.

Me and C have been friends for a long time, and in the last 3 years we have both become equally as close to T, the three of us fit together. And when we are all rolling on E is when we are most free to express how we feel about each other. We tell each other we love each other. And more than anything we mean it. Its an event where I cant imagine life without them. And I know within myself I would do anything to keep them safe.

As for coming down the next day is a nothing day for me, not hungry, not sleepy, but my brain is in too much of a recovery mode for anything too strenuous. We generally spend the day together reliving the ride. Enjoying each other. The day after is usually a day that requires more strength to function, I fall deeply into a state of sadness. Tears flow because of stupid things. It is as if all the flaws that were gone whilst I was rolling become magnified by a hundred. But I wouldn’t trade this sadness for a night pinging of my guts, ever.

Enjoy the ride. Love your friends. Love strangers. But take care of yourselves, if things are looking bad for a friend get them medical attention. God bless.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 63614
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 12, 2018	Views: 938
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