Citation: DonVito. "To Hell and Back: An Experience with 2C-I (exp63843)". Erowid.org. Oct 23, 2007. erowid.org/exp/63843
||(powder / crystals)
This report was originaly posted on a Norwegian forum. And therefore, in Norwegian. Props to Shade for the translation!
I thought I could sum up my trip on 2C-I yet again. This time a bit more detailed. Since it's been 5 months since it happened by now, and I've gotten more information about it all, and as I've gotten back to a more normal life, I'm able to look back at situations like this without fucking my head up totally.
Amount: 270 mg
Method of consumption: intravenous injection
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
[Erowid Note: It is not clear how the writer concluded the chemical to be 2C-I, or the dose to be 270 mg. 270 mgs of 2C-I is considered an extremely high dos.
We were going to buy some 'speed' from an acquaintance about 3 o' clock, Saturday night Oct. 21st 2006 - that is, if I remember correctly. We arrived at the place, and the seller met me in the door, wearing a very distant look. Obviously, the person in question had taken a huge dose of MDMA, GHB and probably some relaxatives earlier in the night. In other words, the person looked pretty much stoned. He acted like he was, also.
After lots of hums and haws, he finally went to get me the two grams of 'speed'. The exchange was going to take place in the living room, where me and my mate were located, truly desperate to get our hands on some good stuff. We were handed two bags supposedly containing 'speed'. I picked one of them, and immediately started making two huge doses - one for me, and one for my mate.
After a couple of minutes, we walked into the bathroom to inject these long-awaited shots. Since my mate don't use hypodermics usually, he wanted me to shot him up. I did so.
Then, it was my turn.
I messed about in my arm to find a fit vein. It took a couple of seconds before I got a response from one of my 'chalk-propped' veins. I smiled a bit to myself, happy. As I was about to inject the stuff, I looked up at my mate. I'm met with an empty gaze. I ask quickly - 'Are you alright?'. I knew I'd given him a bigger dose than what he was used to, and I nearly expected such a reaction. He answered with bending over the toilet, spewing up whatever he had in his stomach. Since this is a normal reaction for a person not accustomed to using hypodermics, I didn't think much about it.
So, I bowed my head, and continued injecting. Deep inside of me, there was a voice saying 'That drug's got a wierd colour'. Nothing like what it usually is when I shop from him. It usually dissolves in the water, and turns transparent. Nah, this looked more like subutex or something. Far from being diaphanous. Almost like it was filled with chalk. Ah well, as the junkie I am (or, rather was :P) I didn't spare it another thought. I went ahead, and squeezed in the entire shit.
Time of injection: 04.15
Chill flies up my arm. A wierd feeling flows up to my shoulder. What the hell is this?! This is NOT speed. FUCK! And me, which gets such a total blast of paranoia in such situations. Bloody hell. At the same time, it starts to 'sparkle' in my eyes. I look in the mirror, which is now filled with the sparkling of a dozen 'lines', moving like white noise on a TV screen.
Bloody fuckin' hell!
I'm standing now, running into the living room to find out what I've managed to mess myself into. I managed to find the way, and stop in front of the living room table. There's four people in front of me, but they weren't all there originally. I only know one of them from before, and I had no plans to get to know any of the others. Taking into account that they're all about 15 years older than me, it makes the temptation quite none-existent.
As I said, I stopped in front of the living room table, and yell out as loud as I can 'What the HELL have we just shot?!'. As I yell this, around 20 seconds have passed since injection.
In response, I'm met with a 'Shut up! My kid is sleeping in the room next to this one!'
As this is being said, all the people change form. They all become animals of an unknown species, and they all rise up from the couch. The guy that knows me reacts with a wierd expression on his face. He realizes that something's gone wrong. My entire face is glowing with fear, and he registers it.
I'm supposed to have said the following. 'Now you're not animals any more. You're insignificant objects in this world. World? What's that? I dunno. Me? What did I say? Words? Who? Does it matter? What is 'mean'? What do words look like? Do they taste good? Good? What's that? I dunno. Where's my body? Body? That word looks wierd. It's huge. A huge word. Huge letters, approaching floating...'
I'm floating. Right now, like a punch in my face everything has changed around me. Everything is floating, liquid. And therefore it's hard to stay on my legs. That's probably why I fall head first into the stereo and the table edge. Not that I notice, as I'm weightless. In a floating mass of insignificance and fear.
+XX Time does not exist in this universe:
I'm floating. Everything around me is in a liquid, floating form. Actually, as I look closer, it's small spherical objects. Everything's tiny spheres. Even I, myself am made up of lots of small spheres. Spheres that I can move around, and mix with the rest of this worthless mass. One of the spheres takes the form of a figure, which can best be compared to something from an animated movie. He's fat, and has a long snout. On the tip of said snout there's a black, extra-large sphere. He's the first sign of life, here in this dimension. He's looking at me. I understand nothing. Every word I say turns incoherent. As I say the word, I can see it floating out in front of me. I can touch it, smell it, taste it.
What I'm trying to say, is: 'I wanna get away! Away from here! Help! I want home!'. But as I don't know what speaking, words, home, or anything at all is anymore, it's hard to get the message out. This person here doesn't understand a word. He's just laughing at me.
At the same time, animation figure number two shows up. This one looks quite a lot like Cruella DeVille. Just a lot more sarcasm and evilness propped into it. She's tall, and has a cigarette in her yap. She's, like everything else, an insignificant collection of spheres of varying sizes. She's laughing at me. As if I'm new in this universe, and she apparently knows. As a newbie, I'm being bullied by two three-dimensional figures. I stretch towards her cigarette. As I hit it, she laughs even louder. The cigarette disappears between my hands. It turns into yet more unimportant mass. An insignificant, burning mass. Which stings. She laughs higher yet and disappears. Along with her, the first figure also.
As it disappears, the first figure gives me a last message. 'Everything is bullshit. We fooled you. Reality doesn't exist! You don't exist. NOTHING IS REAL. Not even oxygen. Nothing matters at all.' Along with Cruella and the first guy, even the air disappears. The only thing left is this insignificant floating mass. A mass that I can't breathe in. I try to push it away, although it does not make sense. I understand nothing at all. Around me, there's just lots of colours. Colours, floating around each other. And when I look closer at each colour, I see that they're small spheres. Small, insignificant spheres. Just as insignificant as everything else. Even me.
+ I disappear out of this dimension, and into the next:
Around me, there's only dead creatures. With closer inspection, I see that they're skeletons. Wierd skeletons. Eery skeletons. One of them is wearing a cyan sweater of some kind. He's standing in front of me, looking at me. The ground is filled with brown, foul-smelling cold water. My feet are wet. It's like my brain received a message saying 'I'll be here for the rest of my eternity'. Here in this insignificant, scary dimension. Alone. I look up at the blue-dressed skeleton. I notice how wierd his arms are. Correction - arm. He's only got one arm. Said arm is at a 90 degrees angle out from his body. As if he's pointing at something. Then I notice that he's holding the end of a long cable, or steel wire in his hand. As I inspect the thread further, it starts to make electrical noises - as if it's charging. At the same time it starts shooting sparks and glowing in strong colours. I'm panicking. As this cable is charging up, I'm dragged along the ground. Pulled by the arms. But no one's holding me. I fall down in the mud, at the end of this long wire. This place is totally empty. It's just me here. And lots of dead bodies.
By my calculations, I spend a long time here in this mud-land. The scenario I just explained repeated several times. As if stuck in repeat. But then...
+ I disappear out of this dimension, to enter yet another one:
There's pieces of glass around me. Millions of them. I'm dragged by servants. I think they are policemen. I'm bloody. Soaked by blood. My legs are gone, as if they were torn right off. And I'm now being dragged along the ground, while millions of glass pieces are cutting me up more and more.
In one moment, I see myself back at my children's school, which I was at for the last time nearly ten years ago. But the school disappears again.
The world around me is still insignificant. In this universe, I notice that there's not one round form. Everything's cubic. Even me. Built up by lots of cubes. Each and every one, just as insignificant as the next one. I feel total panic in my body. I can't express it, since I don't know what 'language' is, and therefore I can't communicate with anyone. Not that I expect any communication, since the policemen draggin me along is obviously not from any regular world. That's probably why they can't help me in any way, either.
The policemen laughs at me. As if I'm worth nothing at all. As they resume dragging me. In one moment, I'm on an ambulance stretcher. I've got no body. Not that I can see, at the least. I'm like a video camera, laying on a hospital bed and recording straight upwards. Around me, there's lots of people that I know. Everyone that has hurt me during my life (in the real world), are now gathered around me. Everyone's got sly looks on their faces. They're staring at me. Suddenly, the world turns into that liquid form again. I'm floating along with the bed I'm on, and falling backwards. Just as if I'm falling into eternity. Slowly. As all the people around me altogether yell 'Oh no, oh oh oh oh.'. I feel fear. As if I know what's gonna happen.
After I've fallen downwards for a while, into this insignificant mass, I'm impaled by hundreds of thin metal threads. Like an egg-cutter. I can feel the wires chop my body into a hundred pieces. Slowly. The threads hit my eyes. And I can see driplets of blood flying everywhere in slow-motion. Impaled. Right. More fear. As in lots of other scenarios, this is also stuck in repeat. The impaling happens so many times that I can't look at it any more. I can't understand that this is my destiny. This is how it should end. I still have no knowledge of any reality, time, or anything.
A glimpse of a human. I still feel a confused feeling spreading through my body. I look up. Hell, I'm on the hospital bed still. Am I gonna get impaled again? No. For once, I'm seeing a real human being. A feeling of warmth. I'm disappearing again. Back to a world with no meaning or anything else.
Yet another glimpse, yet again the same person. This time I'm fighting. Fighting not to lose it again. I manage to open my eyes. I fight really hard to make the people notice me. She sees me. A feeling of being saved is spreading through my body. I turn my head, and look towards the light. My parents are sitting there. They open their eyes, staring at me. I feel well. Have I finally managed to fight out of the other universes, back to the world I missed so? Yes, it seems so.
More doctors and nurses come towards me. They are messing about with lots of things around me. I don't know what. One of them holds a flashlight right to my eye, and is speaking to me. I don't understand what they're saying, but I respond with a smile.
I look at my mom again. She's answering me with a small smile. Like a 'thank - god - that - he - woke - up - smile'. Finally I manage to say something. I'm asked if I know where I am. I answer no, confused as I am. The nurse laughs a bit. Then the same person asks if I know what drug I used. I answered amphetamine, just as confused as before. She understands nothing. Neither do I. But it doesn't matter. I'm back. That was the only thing that mattered to me. Apparently, I had become very uncontrollable during my stay at the hospital. So they pumped me full of Stesolid (diazepam a benzodiazepine), which made me lay completely still. They thought I might have become brain damaged, so they had even scanned my head.
Suddenly I feel an extreme pain spreading throughout my entire body. I'm twisting around. The nurse gives me a mirror. I'm looking at my self, not believing my own eyes. I have never seen such a beat-up face in my entire life. My entire body is bloody, cut-up and blue. My back has received a good whack, and I can feel that something's not quite right. But oh well, I'm still alive.
After a few glasses of water, I rise up from the bed. It hurts, but I have to. I go straight over to my dad, as I can see he's not doing completely fine. I give him a hug, for the first time during my 20 years. I've got such a bad conscience. Thinking to myself that I've seen my family go though enough hell. I pull myself together. I'm gonna stop abusing drugs.
+ X amount of hours
The hospital gives me two crutches, and I limp back home along with my parents.
+ 5 months
I still have problems with flashbacks and the sort. I receive different kinds of medicines, to manage to retain a normal life. As of now, it works quite well. I've quit the junky-lifestyle, and I'm looking forward to a life of studying and work.
I've been told that if I touch another hallucinogen ever again, I might risk fucking my brain beyond all repair. I've remembered that. I tried, stupid as I am, to eat some 'ecstacy' some time in February. The result? Two days of flashbacks. I lost control totally. That was after just a single 'ecstacy-pill', which probably contained anything but MDMA. I'm used to shooting it, but this time I decided to eat it. Thank god that I didn't shoot it, when a single 'ecstacy' was enough to send me on a trip like that.
Never again. And I'm still sticking to that.
Real frends are like good ecstacy. They fill your life with happiness, but are damn hard to find.
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