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Disappearing Into One's Own Brain
Salvia divinorum (10x extract)
by Barnes
Citation:   Barnes. "Disappearing Into One's Own Brain: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp63874)". Erowid.org. Jan 6, 2008. erowid.org/exp/63874

 
DOSE:
  repeated smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)

BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb


As a preface, I will say that I am not a drug user. I drink a moderate amount of alcohol and smoke a little bit of pot maybe once every two months or so. I have no drug experience other than that. So, with that in mind, here is my Salvia experience from conception to completion.

A couple weeks ago, my friend called me just to say hello. He asked me if I had ever heard of Salvia. I said I'm not really into metal. He said, no, it's not a band, it's this crazy legal cheap hallucinogenic drug. He had piqued my curiosity. He told me how it made you completely lose your conscious state and see stuff, but you don't even realize you're on a drug. It sounded wild, so I decided to look into it more. I read a bunch of experience reports and the stuff sounded insane, but I could tell it was not to be toyed with, it was obvious this is a substance to be respected. I did a little more research and I was interested enough to try it.

So I ordered some. I got a gram of standardized 10X extract online for about $20 shipped. I wanted to try it that day but I was going to visit my dad for Father's Day, so I waited. When I got back, I lined up a trip sitter. A girl who always offers me pot when I hang out with her. I figured she'd be up for a Salvia experience. She said she had tried it before, and it didn't do much. I was surprised because that didn't correspond with what I had read. Then she said what she smoked was some leaves from a flea market. I figured my stuff would be more reliable than hers had been.

She came over on monday night and we hung out and she was excited about the Salvia but I didn't want to do it yet because I worked early the next morning and I had no way of knowing what the aftereffects might be. She said she'd do it first, but we had to go to her house because I didn't have a pipe (like I said, I don't smoke). So we went over there, and I told her what to expect, based on what I had read. She took one hit, and it seemed as if nothing had happened because I read that the effect is instant. She was able to put the pipe down and talk to me for a few seconds, but then it kicked in.

I noticed because she suddenly stopped talking and was looking at me like she didn't know me. She was just looking around and seemed kinda worried. Then she got up and went out of the room, which I suppose I shouldn't have let her do as the sitter, but I knew nothing bad was out there. She came back in and paced around a little, and then she was back.

She said it was like everything around her was splitting into pieces or grids, and that when she looked at me, I was just a layer of myself, and not my whole body. The reason she got up and left, she said, was because she thought it was the room and not her. So that reinforces the idea that you don't realize you've smoked anything while you're on a Salvia trip.

I noticed she was perfectly normal right after trying it, so I decided to give it a go. I packed a bowl and inhaled deeply, holding in the smoke as I had read to do. When I exhaled, I thought I had done it wrong, because I didn't feel any different. But about two seconds later, I was thinking I had done it wrong, but I was thinking this in another reality. The walls were being sucked away and I was being pulled, as a lot of people have said, down and to the right. All the pores on my exposed skin were extra sensitive and it felt like I was sweating, but I wasn't. I didn't experience any visuals, but I thought the bed we were on was a boat even though it didn't look like one, and that I was sliding down the hull. Then I burst into hysterical laughter. I found that I could not breathe--like there was some thick liquid blocking my throat--unless I laughed. So I kept laughing. I got off the bed and lay on the floor, still laughing like a maniac until I 'returned.'

I didn't see anything crazy or disappear completely, so I figured I didn't get a whole lot. She wanted to try it again, so we packed up the bowl, using a little more this time, and she hit it once more. First, she started laughing, then she stopped, like something scared her. She looked at me, not like she suddenly didn't know me, but like she suddenly didn't trust me. She started flapping her hands around and telling me to get her off the bed. So I picked her up and stood her on the rug. She didn't move or say anything for a while, but she kept telling me to 'make her whole again.' She said that repeatedly. I told her she was whole, and she disappeared into herself a little more. Then she was pacing around the room again, flapping her hands until she came back to reality.

She said it was the single weirdest experience of her life. There were voices talking to her and they showed her the edge of reason, like what the universe was composed of, she said. The voices told her to be careful. She was so freaked she said she didn't want to do it anymore. I decided I'd better not do anymore either.

The next day, she came over after work and we made a gravity bong because I wanted to get the full experience this time. But I was smart enough to prepare my bedroom with no visual stimulation this time. I loaded up the makeshift bong and filled it with smoke. I inhaled as deeply as I could, and as I was holding my breath, I walked into my bedroom and lied down. She came in to watch too. I exhaled, and the feeling I had gotten the day before came back.

Salvia has a very odd 'feel' right before I dive into my trip. It makes me warm and feel prickly in my arms and legs. It definitely rushes blood to my brain too, because she said my face turned dark red both times. It's a pretty reassuring feeling for me. I've experienced some paranoia with pot before, but Salvia has a soothing, calm-before-the-storm kind of effect on me. It's probably different for everyone though.

Back to the task at hand. Like before, I didn't feel myself slipping away. I just landed in my alternate reality. In this reality, I had sunken into my own brain. Since there were no lights on and I had my eyes closed, I almost felt like I was dreaming, but it was much more real and immediate than any dream I've ever had. It's impossible to describe, so I'll just say, I felt like a minuscule person inside a tunnel that was both pitch black and neon rainbow at the same time. I was marginally aware of my own body, but it was a massive hangar or shell inside of which I was exploring. I shouldn't have, but I tried to talk, and talking pulled me out of my dream-trance a little. My voice would start out loud, and gradually turn into a whisper over the course of a 4- or 5-word sentence. The Salvia didn't want me talking. When I did talk, though, I found I couldn't breathe again. Like before, I had to start laughing wildly to be able to breathe. But this wasn't worrisome, because my subconscious knew laughing was pleasant. And just as abruptly as it began, it was over.

This time was much more intense than the first time, and I see the potential for exploration. I was taken into another world for sure, but it still related to my self. I didn't escape entirely like some people seem to do, I traveled inward. Maybe that's a good thing. So far my experiences with Salvia have both been positive and I've done very small doses twice since. In those times I've just experienced a prolonged version of the familiar 'pre-trip' sensation like I described above.

I included two people's experiences in here so you can read my thoughts both as an observer and a participant, and also to include both a positive and 'freaky' trip. I expect to get freaked out by it at some point, but so far it has been a pleasant and interesting mindfuck.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 63874
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jan 6, 2008Views: 18,483
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Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), Guides / Sitters (39), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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