DOSE:

1.5 g

IV

Heroin

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

Background: After reading a number of heroin stories on here, it is obvious that most of the authors end their story with, 'Don't be like me - don't try heroin.' Well I'm here to play devils advocate. I'm glad I tried it. Why? Read on.

Growing up, I was raised by a hard working mother and father, who were always deeply in love with each other. I was given every advantage early on, I tested in the 99.99% in every standardized test I ever took, until I was finally tested by several psychologists and it was determined I was a genius with an IQ of 151. I also played several instruments (piano and drums mainly) and was ranked in the top few people in the state of IL. As if that wasn't enough, I was into sports, excelling in soccer and swimming. By the time I was 18 I had everything going for me, and got accepted into several of the top 10 universities in the US, and even got an offer to enroll in medical school regardless of how I did the next 4 years.

So, off to college I went, and there I started experimenting. Not much, just pot at first, but after graduation I was ready to move on to better stuff. I then moved back into my home state of IL, where I became reacquainted with my friends who had either not gone to college or had failed out. As I started hanging out with them, I moved from pot, to cocaine, to heroin.

Everyone that's tried it knows how good heroin is, words can hardly describe the feeling. It's not that heroin makes me feel good, it's that it makes me NOT feel bad that is addictive. Anything and everything going wrong in my life simply does not matter while me on heroin, which is precisely why it is so addicting.

Anyway, as the years progressed after college, I became more and more involved in it. Pretty soon, I was spending $100-$300 a day on very pure stuff, and I was injecting it, too. Needless to say I couldn't keep it up for long. I used credit cards, money from my great job, anything I could get my hands on to pay for it (except stealing, never went that far). Pretty soon my GF found out and told my parents, and I was sent off to rehab. Within a week I was back on it again, only this time with methadone. Unfortunately, that meant I had to increase my dose to get just as high, which meant more money. And as time progressed, things got worse and worse, although thankfully I kept my high paying job (although I did fail out of law school).

Several times, my parents and GF tried to help by bailing me out, paying off thousands of dollars of credit cards bills and other debts, and sending me to rehab. However I just didn't get the point. As soon as I got out, it started all over again. 'Just one hit, that's all,' I thought. Yeah right. The cycle continued over and over for years...

Until this past week. Once again my credit cards were maxed out, and I was broke the same day as getting paid. For the first time, I couldn't pay my bills. I tried in vain to apply for more credit, and I was turned down. Tried to ask for money, and was turned down again (even by my parents). I simply didn't have any means of getting any money. So what did I do? I went a day without getting high.

And the next day, the situation was the same, so I again went without any. And now it's today. And I must say, thanks to the methadone, I'm not in (that bad of) withdrawal, and I'm finally thinking clearly again. Looking back, I can't believe what I've gotten myself into: I've failed out of law school, nearly lost my brand new car, destroyed my relationship with my GF of 5 years, lost almost all of my friends, lost the trust of my family, destroyed my credit, and seen several close friends go to jail and/or get shot. And in retrospect, I wish my parents and GF would never have helped me in the beginning. Sure, I would've hit rock bottom, but in the case of heroin that needs to be done. There is simply no other way to stop. Friends and family and loved ones always try to help, but what a heroin addict needs, is tough love. It's often the only way out, if I want to make it out alive.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 64821
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 5, 2019	Views: 1,464
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Heroin (27) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)