Citation: Drug Geek. "A Door That Was Never Meant To Be Opened: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp64922)". Erowid.org. Oct 5, 2007. erowid.org/exp/64922
Drug geek is what you may call someone of my nature. I am one who is fascinated by the effects that drugs can have on the human mind and am excited to experiment with them myself. My past experiments were conducted on what the internet calls “legal highs” these include such drugs as the Amanitas Mushrooms, Blue Lotus, Kratom, Kava Kava, DXM, Morning Glory Seeds and Salvia.
I was slightly nervous about that night for I hadn’t tripped in a while. Considering that during my experimental phase of salvia I was taking it about two times a week (if you would like to view my experimental phase of salvia it can found at http://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=63532). I was slightly on edge but wanted to break though that night so I loaded up my pipe with 100mg of 10x. I had become very accustom to 6x in the past but finding a good deal a few days ago I decided to go for the 10x. This could have been the simple mistake that lead to the events that occurred or perhaps I should of stuck to my own rule of don’t trip if your nervous.
No trip sitter was present during my experience nor have I ever found the need for one. I have had literally hundreds of attempts under my belt and I was not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Also a little note I record my trips for latter review. This will come into play latter on in the reading.
One hit of salvia held for 30 seconds. Salvia's effects began to slowly creep over me. I was in a state of perpetual falling. What I was falling into could best be described as nothingness or a state of non familiarity. Everything was so different to myself, even such things as my arms, which swung around violently during my trip. I had little idea how things should normally be but like a double edge sword if I have no idea that something is wrong or out of place then I have nothing to fight against.
After the peak I got some time to look at the light coming off of a table lamp in this state. I could see every single strand of light come out and hit me. I noticed that at the point of fracture with my skin the light was curved like as if it was holding onto me. I decided that it was the lights fault that I didn’t have a deep trip and that this explains why everyone says that you should trip in a dark room with the lights off. I swiftly promised myself that the lights would be off in my next trip. The intensity died down and everything was back to normal. I would consider that a light trip.
I’m not a wasteful person and I wasn’t quite sure if I had gotten everything out of the pipe the first time or if it was just ash now. I cleared the bowl in two hits. About 15 seconds in of holding it I was feeling the initial effects. This was quite strange for it to come so fast and I knew I must of hit something really good. I laid down on my bed in anticipation.
I was no longer a person as a whole but I was still that person. It's hard to describe in human words but I was somehow my whole cellular body and yet I was one cell of that body. While I was one cell of my body I looked as I do now. I had my head, legs, torso, etc. Every cell is the same and I could see all of them stretch off into infinity in every direction. I was literally beside myself and somewhat freaked out. I mean who wouldn’t be if your were suddenly in some weird place were everyone was the same. How could I tell that I was the real me?
Jumping back to the regular body now I was still greatly confused and I had just come to the conclusion that I was still holding my breath. How long have I gone without any oxygen? I had no idea but I started forcing the air in and out of my lungs although it didn’t feel like any of the oxygen was absorbing. Luckily I still knew enough that this will pass and I should just keep breathing. The room was to dark to conclude, from the video, when I started breathing again.
This breathing is now creating a problem on the single cell level for all the cells were rapidly moving up and down and left and right like all of the cells around it. This was far from pleasant and I just wanted it to all end. If I were to have to live the rest of my life in this state I would of just killed myself. My thoughts were racing though my mind, I was a fool for having no trip sitter, my confidence of going it alone just crumbled around me.
All I knew was that I needed to get away from all of this. In this state I was able to conclude that fleeing the room was my option to escaping. Although running away from problems never helped anything I still stumbled out of my door and fled to my left. I chose this direction because I have found in my trips that whenever something psychedelic happens its always on the right hand side. So I could say that I was fleeing to the side of sanity. After 10 feet of attempted walking I hit the south end wall of the house and plopped myself down on a chair.
During the time of sitting I could see what the larger pictures of all of these cells created. It was my own red shirt suspended hundreds of feet about the floor. These images of the cells were superimposed upon the regular image of reality. So helpless I felt I felt just sitting there unable to fully comprehend what was going on. I did find that I could produce a little more comfort by facing a cretin direction. So I sat there facing the south wall shielding myself from the enormous force that threatened to crush my entire body.
A few more minutes passed. The trip has still not subsided and I was still having trouble breathing. To make matters worse I was randomly switching from being myself and being one cell of myself. I remember thinking to myself how crazy I must of looked if someone were to walk in right now. There I was sitting in a chair facing the wall huffing and puffing like I had never taken a breath before in my life. I was at is time trying to rationalize the situation and stop myself from calling an ambulance. “Just a few more minutes and then it will all go away,” is what I kept telling myself over and over. “It only last for about 8 minutes your almost there,” the truth of the matter was that this was not my typical 8 minute trip this was an astonishing 15 minute trip.
I was then blessed with a startling revolution. I had come to the conclusion that time, is just a thing made by humans to provide a form a measurement. And how if time didn’t even exist then there wouldn’t be a need for a beginning or an end making some of life’s questions disappear. What humans were trying to measure for time was simply the movement of energy. They looked up into the sky and saw that there was night and day, however that night and day is just the movement of the energy of rotation. And since energy is cyclical it doesn’t really matter how many times it moves.
After some time I felt as if oxygen was doing its job properly. I made my way to my bed and laid down to relax off this intense trip. When I thought that all effects were over I got off my bed and stopped the web cam that was running on my computer. I must of caught something really great I was thinking to myself. I reviewed the first trip of the night and it was pretty ordinary except for the flailing arms part which caught me a little off guard.
Now it was time to review the second trip. I couldn’t believe it the first time though. “No there must have been a mistake, I must of played the wrong video,” I thought to myself. The truth of the matter is that this was the record of the trip that I had just experienced. The video actually showed little of what I was expecting, for I was expecting it to show me rush of the room at some point with a panicked look on my face. That video showed me taking the hit and then laying down. At no point did I ever get up or run out of the room. I just simply laid there for about 5 minutes and then my feet started to move as If I were trying to walk. They stop or I had simply given up and then I laid there for about 8 more minutes before I got up to turn off the web cam.
How could this of been possible? I remember so well struggling my way though the house. I could still recall the feeling of the textured paint on the wall that I ran into. If that wasn’t real then what else could have been made up?
That saliva trip had changed my life. Before I thought that everything could be measured and that there was no mystery if all of the variables were taken into account. I can say that I no longer think that way. I no longer trust everything that I hear and I hold most ideas to question. Don’t get me wrong, that was a truly terrifying 15 minutes and I don’t think that all of which has changed for the better has justified the means. I have given up salvia at this point dispersing what was left of my collection along to unlucky friends and relatives. Only keeping half and oz of the plain leaf if I should ever change my mind.
--A Few months latter--
I must be insane to have even tried it again. Plain leaf it may be however still powerful none the less. Every time I try salvia now I just have a flash back for that one bad experience. I think I understand now that salvia is torturing me. She doesn’t like to be experimented on. I feel as if I opened a door that was never meant to be broken. It was like the backdoor into another form of conscious. I hope that somehow that which connects me with that reality will be broken.
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