Take a Survey on the use of Breathwork
for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, or PTSD
Researchers at Johns Hopkins seek responses to an anonymous survey on breathwork. You can participate whether your breathwork experiences helped or not.
(Must be 18+) Take the Survey!
Life, Death & The Symbol Eye
LSD, Cannabis & Tobacco
by Creatus
Citation:   Creatus. "Life, Death & The Symbol Eye: An Experience with LSD, Cannabis & Tobacco (exp65645)". Erowid.org. Nov 2, 2007. erowid.org/exp/65645

 
DOSE:
2 hits oral LSD (blotter / tab)
    smoked Cannabis (plant material)
    smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes (plant material)

BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb


It was a cool summer night, and there were about ten individuals at my friend J's house surrounding a bon-fire waiting for the arrival of several ounces of magic mushrooms. Not everyone was planning to trip, in fact some of the people there that night lived drug-free lives. Time passed, and soon we received word that the mushrooms had fallen through and instead we were going to get some potent acid. Some people had their doubts, I myself hoped somehow potent LSD would pull through and make for an exciting night. My hopes came true.

===========================

The LSD came in the form of some shabby cut white blotters. It didn't look very professional, but with acid you never know what you were getting. The blotters were twenty a pop, and I was a little nervous to pay such a price for white paper. But I decided it was worth the chance and bought two of the largest blotters and stuck them under my tongue. Instantly I tasted the bitterness of LSD, and my doubtfulness was put to rest and replaced with a electric anticipation. Suddenly I had a strong feeling this LSD was in fact very very good. Again my feelings were right.

The people who were tripping that night bought there hits. People bought between 1 and 2.5 hits each, ate them and returned to the bon-fire. It wasn't much more then half an hour before I could feel a powerful energy growing in the pit of my stomach. I was happy and relaxed. I smiled at everything. Everyone was happy and excited. Then the physical high started to crawl up my body. Its very difficult to explain the physical high of LSD. Its somewhat like mushrooms, you feel like your floating slightly, theres a pressure in your head and your stomach. It kind of feels like your being stretched.

The physical high continued to grow. And grow. And grow. I was on the strongest physical LSD high I've ever experienced. The feeling was so strong a pressure in my throat made it difficult to talk. So strong it was comparative to coming up on ecstasy. So strong I didn't realize I was beginning to trip until it suddenly hit me in the face.

I didn't know the kid across the fire from me too well. But he was laughing pretty hard. 'Must... keep... composure...' he was explaining. 'The kids on the opposite side of the fire from me sure are being quiet.' We nodded. There was an awkward silence, except it wasn't awkward, because we all fully understood at that point we were all tripping balls. The faces of kids surrounding me blurred and melted. There faces were all red, and it looked like they had tribal marking on them. I had a scab on my arm, and as I studied it, it breathed and swam about.

A couple of us decided the best way we could find out how hard we were tripping would be to go inside J's house. As we walked through his lawn, the grass looked like it came right out of a cartoon. There was purple and green flowers of such color and contrast I've never seen before. We went inside and looked at ourselves in the bathroom. Our faces were melting and stretching. No one looked the way they should have. It freaked us out and we went back to the fire for awhile.

We sat, and my mind began its swan-dive into insanity. The gap between my mind and subconscious was opening. The dreamy, weirdness of LSD thought was clouding over me.

** Are we underwater? Is this chair going threw me? What is the point of Tuesday? What is the point of school? Why do we learn?**

Me and a friend decided to go back to the house for awhile so he could play guitar and I could listen. It had been a good two hours since I had ingested and I was tripping hard. I studied some photos hanging on my friends walls. The people inside them moved around, talked to themselves, yawned. My friend began to play and I lay out on J's bed.

The song he played was intense, and emotional. As he played each note, waves of color rushed from around the room towards him. The room swayed and breathed in sync with the song. The colors of his blue carpet were so vibrant they glowed and reflected across the room. The song he played was so emotional, So important to me. I looked at him and his face shined incredible light, he played guitar so well he had become the status of a God to me. There was a deep connection he was trying to show me with his music. I looked at him and I thought I was looking at myself. There I am, says I, experiencing life. And I knew that everyone in the house and even outside felt the same connection. Everyone was apart of that magic string that held us together. We were all here together and all loved each other. As he continued to play, his hair glowed and melted into the air. His whole body grew and shrunk to the music. And then as quickly as it started it stopped and he put his instrument away.

We walked downstairs to find J in his kitchen with a glass of water. We laughed at each other, then we went outside leaving him to whatever he was doing. We sat underneath a large tree. 'Look at this man!' we were pointing at everything around us. It was incredible. Color was so vibrant and in such incredible contrast, it was as if the entire world were a magical painting. We pointed at things, and picked up things to play with our hands. I held a piece of tree bark and felt the power of old wood in my hand. Then once we had used up the area, we decided to head back to the fire. Again I sat silently, constantly entertained by my own lucid thoughts.

**The moon is the sun of the night. Is the fire really green, or am I imagining it? Am I bleeding? Should I be somewhere now?**

There was about six or seven of us around the fire, and we agreed we should go into J's house, get some flashlights and then go on a woods exploration. I was all for it, and still climbing in the intensity of my trip along with everyone else. Back at the house, all six or seven of us were crammed in one hallway as one person grabbed the flashlights. Again no one spoke and it would have been awkward if we were not tripping. A bunch of silent people tripping acid crammed in a hallway. 'This is chill' someone said. It really was. No one knew how or why, and everyone was too crazy to care.

We were outside with flashlights at the edge of the woods. We began our hike in. And almost instantly the remaining filter between my mind and sub-conscious snapped. This was the real beginning of the trip. I remember looking at someones back for awhile before I was too lost to follow, and ended up somewhere in the woods alone, where I would spend the next hour flailing about in insanity. What happened then, can only be explained the way I experienced it and not what I was actually doing because my mind and body during this period were on opposite sides of the universe.

**'Where am I... Where am I? Where the fuck am I? I was born here. This is my home.'

I was looking for something. I climbed through the woods blind as a bat searching for what I did not know, perfectly content and constantly entertained.

'Am I dead? Where am I? am I in hell?'

My own thoughts ended, and turned into a self narration.

~You're here now. All else does not matter. You are not alone.~

I suddenly noticed I was surronded by a group of children. They were very hard to see in the dark, but they were grey and black, and were obviously some kind of woods tribal ancient people. They all held spears and sticks and they were going to attack me.

~Crazy... Eye... Children...~

Their eyes, practically glowed. I was not afraid until I finally understood they were malevolent. Suddenly a pang of fear struck through me like I'd never experienced before. A thought entered my mind so terrifying it could have sent me on a bad trip if I had let it. 'I am in hell. For all eternity I am surronded by these frightening children and they will torture me with sticks and spears forever.'

A child with particularly glowy eyes stabbed me in the jaw with his spear. Pain. Terrible pain. Wait. Was it pain? That can't be pain. I felt my Jaw, and understood I was still tripping on acid. I decided the children were not going to be there anymore, and like magic, they were gone. I was relieved to the point where I was very happy. I continued on into the woods alone.

I stopped and stared at a interesting arrangement of leaves. It looked like there was an eye in the middle. Not an actual eye, but a symbol. A very important symbol.

~Eye... Eye... Eye... Eye... Eye...~

The voice in my head was deep and seductive. Everytime the voice said 'Eye' The eye I was looking at slightly changed. It was still an eye as it changed, but a different symbol. Some of the eyes looked like Egyptian hieroglyphics, some looked like clocks, some looked more like actual eyeballs. As I stared, the meaning of the eyes were becoming more evident. There was some deep importance of the symbol eye, something ancient and powerful that was being passed on to me. I imagined an ancient ancestor somehow speaking through me the symbol of the eye. I experienced something too important for reality, a deep important power of a symbol that has stood for enlightenment for millions of years. I experienced a revelation.

I saw eyes for a long time, until I was exhausted with information. I looked at my feet. The ground looked so welcoming. I lay down. I felt the dirt in my hands. It felt like dirt. I put a finger to my mouth. It tasted like dirt. There was a branch by my head. It felt like it was going right through it. I tasted the branch. It tasted like branch.

'Why am I lying down? I'm not tired. I'm tripping acid'

I began to stand up. Or rather I began to try to stand up. Suddenly time went haywire. I moved so slow I could hardly see myself stand. Yet I wasn't moving, I was somewhere else wathcing myself do these things. As I stood at a incredibly slow pace, my body aged rapidly. When I got to my feet I was an old man, but I did not stop there, for I began my extension to look directly up at the stars. Everything around me began to break apart into smaller and smaller pieces, creating spirals and vortexes that vanished leaving behind a white void. Every object that broke apart released two opposites. One of the opposites was male and female. They laughed and danced as they were connected. Yet opposite.

I saw hot and cold. Young and old. So many different opposites my mind couldn't keep track all during this time I was aging and attempting to look at the sky. My life was ending. I was going to die. A scream was building up in me, and as I looked at the sky I released it and threw up my hands. An incredible powerful scream released power out of my mouth and body. I felt incredible, I felt apart of everything and nothing at the same time. I felt a presence so powerful it is impossible to explain. Almost everything had broken down and I was almost surronded in white void. I froze for awhile. And slowly the white faded and I was back in the woods.

I had not successfully died. But I knew I had gotten close. I was afraid of death, but I knew I had to die. And the power I had felt was incredible. I had to try again. I lay down and repeated the exact same thing. Again I screamed and was almost surrounded in white void, but still I tiny piece of reality remained. So I tried one last time. I lay down, stood up, reached for the sky and screamed at the top of my lungs and I did it. I was completely surrounded in white. I was completely connected to everything. Yet completely alone at the same time. I was complete. I knew I had did it. I had accomplished what I had to.**

I don't remember much following that. I know I wandered on through the woods, distracted by my own insanity to the point where I never remembered nor cared where I was, who I was or what I was doing. Sometimes I would forget I was in the woods or think I was in a completely different environment. I remember imagining there was a big log cabin in the sky. I remember the sky turned pink. And lastly I remember thinking a car was driving through the woods. What I thought were headlights was actually a flashlight. It was J, and he came looking for me. Apparently people had decided the screaming they had heard was not actually someone being axe murdered, but me tripping on LSD alone in the woods.

He took me back to the fire. And I stood with everyone as if the last hour never happened. In fact at that point I was convinced the last hour really hadn't happened. I had fallen to sleep and dreamt or something. Or maybe I imagined it all while I was sitting by the fire the whole time. From time to time I would mutter something like 'It all doesn't matter...' or 'Nothing is real...' for I was still lost in LSD thought process. But I was coming down from that point, I had definently peaked alone in the woods.

For the rest of the night me and the people around me relaxed and discussed our trips. People came and went, and we smoked a few bowls and a few cigarettes. I decided I wouldn't tell anyone about my experience until the day after when I would have time to rethink everything that happened. In fact, until I wrote this I never disclosed my trip with such detail (It has now been four days since I tripped). All through morning colors and contrast were unusually beautiful. I ended up tripping from about 11:30 pm to 9:00 am peaking around 2-3 am. When morning came most people left and only a few of us attempted to sleep. We were unsuccessful. We were full of energy and felt good. I went home that afternoon on virtually no sleep and worked until 10 pm without feeling tired but having a terrific afterglow.

===========================

Everything about my trip was perfect in my eyes. Everything that happened, and how they happened I would never want any other way. What happened was meant to happen. I'm glad I got lost in the woods, and I'm glad nobody found me for an hour. This experience was one that I had been looking forward to all my life, and it was a wonderful surprise. It had everything I could have wanted, incredible visuals, incredible spiritual revelation, thoughts and ideas beyond anyones wildest dreams. This trip truly opened my eyes to the powers and potentials of psychedelics and LSD. This trip has changed my view on life forever. There is not the slightest doubt in my mind now, that what we experience in reality is just a tiny, tiny fraction of what there really is. That everything is connected in one big everything, and that everything, though invisible is very very present. And everyone will experience that presence at some point, whether through life or death.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 65645
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 2, 2007Views: 18,227
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
LSD (2) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults