Citation: DRVKTR. "Blessing in Disguise: An Experience with DMT & Cannabis (exp65781)". Erowid.org. Oct 5, 2007. erowid.org/exp/65781
My First DMT trip was so intense, I will try to describe what I 'experienced' as well as I can. Searching the DMT forums, reading trip reports, and hearing stories first hand from good friends still could have never prepared me for what that 15 minutes of '...' included.
I would like to describe a little background about myself, I'm 22 years old, live in Southern California, have a great job, and through years of life experiences, decided that my time on this earth is to be spent expanding my body, physically and mentally. My right hand man is Lysergic, my best memories and trips have been on L, my most coveted of the covets, MDMA following close second, and a grand list of others. I'll try my best:
A few months ago while building our arsenal of funnystuffs for Burning Man, our Dude had some DMT. My trip buddy and I had heard about this substance, had never tried, but were vary curious. It was pretty expensive, so we passed it up and went to Burning Man, which by the way was epic, great LSD, the biggest MDMA wafers I have seen, and one of the best Space Cadet climates you can find.
2 Days ago one of my good friends came over to my house, pipe in hand. I was taking a nap, while my trip buddy was playing some Halo. Our buddy came in with his pipe, and I got excited to burn down some great cannabis. My friend then told me that he had a pipe that he and his friend were hitting DMT out of, some of it melted, and there may be a little something something left for us to hit, 'Might get you high' He exclaims. Now, I am self instructed Space cadet, I will take that strip of acid, I will eat that funky looking shroom, I'll jump on the train and shoot MDMA. The point, by the time we heard 'D...M....', my trip buddy and I were ready. Our friend helped us turn down the shades and turn down the music, smoked a bowl and got ready. He told us the pipe had remnants of a sesh earlier, and to hit it like a resin bowl.
My trip buddy was adamant on taking the first hit. I really did owe it to him, while at BMAN, we didn't sync up as much as we would've liked to. The room was dark and only the ambient sound of the xbox fan could be heard. We say our goodbyes and 'as is life', our little drugbrother oath, and he takes a niice puff. The smell of plastic quickly filled the air, he held his breath deep and passed the pipe to our buddy, who promptly passed it to me. I held the pipe to my mouth started to light up, and glanced at my buddy, who was obviously on his merry way. The next 15 minute trip was both the most scared I have ever been in my life, and also a feeling so foreign to me and more than could have ever perceived.
I started taking a pretty aggressive hit from the pipe, thinking in my head to take a bigger rip, as it was supposedly not a full dose, and, why the fuck not. I think because my friend had hit it first, and it was like a resin hit, that he had heated the resin up enuff for me to get a goooood hit. The toke I took had a very plastic taste and smell to it, and while trying to hit a little more I let out a closed mouth stoner cough that blew out most of my toke. My stoner mind kicks in 'It's still up to your lips, hit the damn thing again', and I did.
Now, I have heard people tell me about things coming on quick, never in my life have I been hit that quickly. Before I was even done lighting my toke the effects started to take place. After my toke I held in my breath, and said 'Holy fuck, I'm tripping', before muttering that full thought I was fully integrated. I leaned back into my seated position on the couch, staring straight at our living room wall. The first noticeable change was like the world's most technical bandanna being turned to smoke by a magician, but faster.
Once the bandanna print went away I had maybe 3 seconds of thought. I looked straight ahead at the wall, it looked as if I was leaning my head from left to right, then the image became stable, and clear, very clear. The image I saw before my eyes, just of my living room wall with fireplace and shelves, was crystal clear, fucking clear. No imperfections, left, right, bottom to top perfect. Then the image stabilized, and started to fractal and appear to drop back every 2 inches, while shrinking in dimension by about 2'. I watched as the fractals got smaller and smaller, then, I my good reader, went unconscious. That's right, total knock out cold. So far knocked out my friends later told me I was snoring loudly, as if I were in deeeeeep sleep. I had never been knocked out cold, nor did I ever perceive it while in the trip.
After going unconscious, I went further in time and space and matter little and big, and everything all at once. Friend, I went on a journey. I felt as if I was being rocked straight through a vast expanse. At first the expanse was filled with what I can only think of now after as my life, or memories of it, flashing before me. I distinctly remember hands, all sizes, races, religions, ethnics, time periods, just hands, no faces, all grabbing for my body, or whatever I was made up of for this travel. I have no control over any motor skills, and it has only been about a mere 45seconds. I am traveling very fast, faster than any one man could perceive.
The hands fade away and the vivid fast moving memories stop. I now feel 100% out of body, or mind, whichever you prefer, like I am lying on my back in the deepest black in the ocean. I feel as if I have traveled to the end. I am not spiritual. I am very learned but do not believe in God, or any diety, other than one's body and mind, but the place that I went to, felt as if this was the end of all things, be it, God, the end of time, the beggining of time. The only words I like to use out loud are Zero. I reached a point of complete ZERO. This place to this very second still chills me. I was so far into this place, into my own mind, or out of it, that I was scared.
I started thinking very hard, but it was not forming with normal braincells I usually use to comprehend. I was comprehending on an ultimate level. I then started to hear 2 voices. The feeling on my back now started to feel as if I was in an operating room. But instead of all white clean, That very, very black from earlier. On my back, in black, no vivid colors, no specks of light, no light tunnels, no fractals. All black. Each voice is standing on either side of me, both are actually myself speaking.
'What is this?'
'How is this sooo black?'
'Why Have you No Thoughts?'
'Is This The End And Forever?'
Then I felt as if I was underwater at the deepest point possible in the ocean, being pulled straight to the surface by a very strong hand. Soooo fast. It is at this point that I regain conscious, still with eyes closed. The exact point I come to, I start coughing as if I had just been drowning. I grabbed my friend next to me with much force, and I had no idea what was happening. I paniked. They had no idea I had gone so far into my mind, and were laughing this off. My eyes had opened, but I still saw black, it took me a few seconds to start seeing anything. Then vivid light shown thru. I still could not think. I remember trying to think and hearing or feeling a force shut me up, trying to take me back to that place of zero. Coming too was pretty scary. I had no idea what I had done, not even remember smoking the dmt, I was very confused. I could not perceive what the hell was going on at all. I felt very alone.
I half stood up, and puked more matter than I have ever in my life. This puke was what I believe to be of epic, maybe spiritual proportions. My trip buddy, who had already come out of his trip (more fractals and being able to think, than total fucking recall like myself) was trying to rush me out the back door to puke. All the while he thinks I am overexaggerating (I wish). I could not walk, my body felt very heavy, immobile. I am now able to form thoughts, first thing in my head, 'What did I eat?' I thought that I had eaten a bad shroom, or a million hits of acid, or too many grams of MDMA, man I was fucking confused. My friend was half carrying me, and once outside the back door, set me loose.
I still could not walk, I fumbled down 2 stairs, off the back patio and on to the grass of the backyard. Sounds were very mechanical. Scary stuff. I fell onto my hands and knees. I had no idea where I was, then I saw a tree, it was the only thing that was familiar, so I crawled for it, reaching for it. It felt as if I was a leper crawling for a blessing from Christ. As I crawled the wild fractalization started taking effect. I crawled as if I was on a treadmill, never ending. This was in a matter of seconds, but if felt as I was crawling forever. Knowing the tree would be out of reach, I gave up and fell onto my stomach. I thought to myself, 'I am dead. This is what the end is like, this is what happens when you overdose, I'm fucking dying.'
Now my friends, the blessings: the visual.
While preparing to die I could slowly start remember what was going on. I knew my friend had come over, looping some things that happened, each time skipping that fatal toke. Then from nowhere it hits me like a fact sheet. I smoked DMT, I have about 15 minutes. At this point I stopped panicking, and had the most amazing visuals. Now, I have seen many many visuals, LSD, Mushrooms, MDMA, all at once even. I am sure and will take it to the grave, that I had not seen a fractal or had a visual until DMT. The visuals I saw were on a much higher level than Acid or shrooms. It felt like every trip I ever had times 5 million divided by 6 times 50 billion. Full colors. Fractals coming on switching quickly like ink falling into a glass of water. My mind focused on 3 blades of grass and repeated this throughout the backyard. No monsters, bears, sharks, or boogeymen. These visuals were spot on. Like so spot on, if I died that moment, my life goal for the ultimate of ultimates had been achieved.
I flip over to my back, noticing that I had made it to the tree. Thoughts started to slowly come back to my own grasp. I was calm and knew that trying to fight would make it worse, so I lay there, scared, but in the know. My friend dropped me a pillow and walked away. I wanted to use it, but could not muster up the strength. I sat up to try to gather my bearings, the light was very intense, so I lay down another time. About 10 minutes later, the trip is over, mild breathing of surfaces (should let you know I have been known to always see things breathing, its pretty gnarly, dang LSD :)
I walked inside to see my homies, they were laughing at what had happened. I told them what had happened and the mood quickly changed. I truly went further than any of us had anticipated. My friend only had a little fractals and visuals, like I said earlier it may be due to him heating it up with his first hit, or me taking 2 rips. All in all it was a wild experience. I had a really bad feeling the rest of the day. I was scared of the dark that night, and just thinking about the trip got me pretty scared. My friend says I reached Nirvana, I saw I went to zero. Wherever I went, it made me swear off DMT, only to be back a few minutes later, this time with a little hit, and the window melted. No problems.
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