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Wish I Could Take It All Back
by addicted2love
Citation:   addicted2love. "Wish I Could Take It All Back: An Experience with Oxycodone (exp65857)". Mar 23, 2018.

  repeated oral Oxycodone (pill / tablet)
    repeated insufflated Oxycodone (ground / crushed)


[Erowid Note: Because opiate use can lead to significant tolerance (requiring higher doses for the same effects), the dose used by a first time user is significantly smaller than that used by a regular user. It can be extremely dangerous to choose ones dose on the basis of the amount taken by someone else. Overdoses of opiates can be fatal.]

A little about myself before I start this I am 24, educated, mother of 2, good job, and I come from a middle class family. I have never submitted a report before, so where to start, the beginning I suppose.

First let me tell you that I am addicted to prescription drugs, Oxycontin being my drug of choice. Sure I have had my fair share of drug related experiencesÖand loved pretty much every one of them, just to name a few, e, shrooms, weed (of course), coke, so on and so forth. I never got into anything that I thought would be dangerous or make me an addict, until a year ago. I started dating my current boyfriend, it was our second date when his sister came over to grab money from him. She was picking up LTís (lortab) for both of them, he asked me if I wanted some. I said sure.

I have had my own scripts before and I enjoyed them. So I took em and it was great I felt relaxed, warm, happy, and I was supper talkative (kinda like e). Donít get me wrong I was not immediately hooked, and I donít blame my addiction on my boyfriend. After that I mentioned that my dad (who had cancer) gets OC (Oxycontin). I told him I would grab one for him (steal) so I did. He asked why I didnít take them. I told him I had once in the past and it made me sooo sick to my stomach I threw up like 30 times, I swear. Anyways I got a kidney infection and they prescribed me Phenegran. So, I decided since I had the Phenegran I would take one it was 40mg pill. It was incredible (the phenegran totally took the nausea away)ÖI guess I can best describe it as an itchy heaven.

I had actually asked my dad for them this time and he had given me 4 (I said I was in pain from my infection). So, we had taken 40mg each. The other 2 pills my boyfriend chopped them up and we snorted themÖsnorting them intensified the high. At this point I still wasnít an addict I thought they were great but never dreamed I would become an addict. My boyfriend on the other hand was an addict and was always buying pills Ltís, percs, Ocs, whatever he could get his hands on. I started buying them too and would take OCs from my dad about once a week. My dad gets so many he never noticed they were gone. My boyfriend would go thru horrible withdrawals when he couldnít get any. I felt so bad for him but always thought that will never be me. Like I said my dad gets a lot of OC he gets a script for 120 20mg, 90 80 mg, and 90 40 mg.

So I started taking more and moreÖ.one month I took roughly $700 street price in pills, about 1400mg. Somewhere along the way I became an addict, I have never injected anything. I have read a lot of reports with people injecting and thatís just way too scary. I eat the pills or snort them, I have noticed that if I alternate between eating and snorting every few days the high is better. Like I said I too am an addict and I too go thru horrible withdrawals when I donít have pills, I sweat, have hot and cold flashes, flu symptoms, I get so nauseous, and my body aches everywhere. The funny thing is I really donít even get high anymore. It takes over 160mg of OC for me to feel anything. I spend pretty much every dime I have on OC, just so that I can feel normal.
I spend pretty much every dime I have on OC, just so that I can feel normal.
My typical morning consists of snorting 20-40mg of OC and then another 20-40mg at lunch, and if I am lucky another 80mg in the evening. OC does make everything better even though I donít get high any more, it gives me energy, makes sex incredible, and it makes me happy. It has caused so many problems for me: my boyfriend and I argue about drugs all the time, my Dad finally caught me (but pretty much dropped it but has hid them from me), and I never have any money. I wish I could quit. I have tried. I have gone for days without pills the withdrawals are horrible and just when I think I am done someone calls with pills and I start all over again.

I say that I want to quit but I really do love them so much. I have no idea what will happen I hope that I can stop before I ruin my life. I have two very important reasons to quit. I donít want whoever is reading this to think I am a horrible mom because I am not. I would do anything for my boys. I do so many things with them, they are well dressed, well feed, and have pretty much every toy known to man. I just wanted to say that. Anyway, like I said I have every reason in the world to quit. OC (any prescription opiate) is a wonderful experience, but so dangerous. If I had the choice I would gladly give up my experiences to be clean again. Anyone can become an addict believe me I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be one.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 65857
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 24 
Published: Mar 23, 2018Views: 1,062
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Oxycodone (176) : Not Applicable (38), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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