Citation: Anonymous Dragonfly. "Synaesthesia and Mind Implosion: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp65909)". Erowid.org. Oct 1, 2007. erowid.org/exp/65909
I attempted to weigh out 20 mg for my first psilocetin trip. It was more difficult than I expected, as my scale was being a bit finicky, so the dosage could be off by a few milligrams either direction. I had eaten a meal three or four hours earlier, so my stomach was moderately empty. At 5:15pm, I licked the powder off the weighing device. The taste was strong and funky, but not too unpleasant. I just washed my mouth out with water and the taste disappeared easily. I then left with my friend S, also on 20mg, to go hiking in the forest trails near my house.
We walked for about 20 minutes and stopped to rest on a small bridge. I felt mildly anxious during this time, thinking about my motivations and reasons for doing drugs, and worried a bit that the trip would be unpleasant. These five minutes were perhaps the only negative part of my trip. I felt like I was seeing the bridge pulsate very slightly, but this could easily have been placebo. S and I walked around for another hour or so. I began to feel mildly high and clear-headed, my thoughts flowed faster and changed rapidly, and it became a little bit difficult to construct sentences from my thoughts, so I stayed fairly quiet. The effects really didn't feel as though they were getting stronger, and S was still feeling almost nothing. We returned to the bridge with the intention to smoke some marijuana to intensify the experience, but instead ended up lying on the bridge, staring at the sky, and listening to Pink Floyd with some portable speakers. When I focused on the sky, I saw pleasant visuals forming, but I had to focus for them to appear, and if I looked back at my surroundings they disappeared. The clouds also formed nice geometric shapes.
At about an hour and 45 minutes in, the effects were still very mild for me, and more so for S, so we decided to smoke. We had a Sobe juice bottle with us that was turned into a waterfall, and there was a brook just below us, so we decided we would each take a waterfall hit. Normally, one or two of these get us extremely baked, so we figured one would definitely be enough. After taking our hits, we decided to continue our hike. We wandered into a giant field scattered with trees. In one direction, there were mountains, clouds, and farmland of spectacular beauty. In another was a forest that looked almost like a jungle to me. As we relished in this beauty, I started perceiving the world more and more different. Plants took on an almost cartoonish feel. Visuals were present in great detail if I focused on something, but if I just looked at my surroundings, I would see the world in an alien, but static way. Closed eye visuals were present, but not much more interesting than what I get on weed (although I do have fairly vivid CEV's from weed alone).
We continued our walk to a nearby park, and finally, after about two and a half hours, we were tripping. Just before we got to the park I saw two bikers in the distance who stopped to rest. But I looked closer and began to doubt that they were bikers. They were changing before my eyes and I began to think that they were statues of bikers, or cardboard cutouts. Finally they moved again and I reaffirmed that they were live, actual people.
Every conversation S and I had would turn into an argument (not that we were angry with each other), despite the fact that we really agreed with each other. My goal was to play frisbee in the park, and when we finally made it there to play, I was surprised that my skill had not decreased at all because of the drug. However, my interest in playing had. The whole time we were throwing the disc, I was pacing back and forth randomly, my mind a complete mess of nonsense. Eventually we stopped and just lay on the grass with music and watched the world around us.
My mind was in another world. I felt as if all of the stimuli that my brain normally processes in different ways and in different areas of the brain was being processed all by one mechanism. My thoughts would randomly turn from words, to sounds, to tastes, and so on. When I was playing frisbee, and had to run to catch it, I would often taste my footsteps in my mouth. I had no control over these processes, my senses would just change into each other at random. There was also an element in this that did not feel as though it was based on external stimuli. It was as though my mind was generating a random static that was interpreted as, for example, a sound or a taste, and that was incorporated in my thoughts, that, at the same time, were still randomly morphing between my different senses. This could be described as synesthesia, however, there was nothing consistent about it--perhaps this was because of the 'static' that was being incorporated into my thoughts as changing patterns.
It wasn't just stimuli and senses that had changed. Both tangible and intangible objects had completely lost their meaning to me (I was far more interested in the intangible). I wasn't really sure what the difference between happiness and sadness was, because I had lost the ability to rate things on a positive or negative scale. I assumed that I was feeling great because of my random and nonsensical laughter, but at the same time I wasn't sure. I contemplated what a bad trip was, and I couldn't comprehend what it would be like, because there was nothing bad or good about my state of mind, there was only my state of mind free of any sort of categorization. Because of this, my mind also became very distant from my body. It was difficult to tell whether I was hot, cold, tired, or in pain because I wasn't sure what any of those sensations felt like. At one point, my teeth began chattering, and I was able to determine that I was probably cold based on logical deductions, but whether or not it was the truth I was not sure. In fact, what was true became completely subjective. As I had forgotten what everything was in the world around me, I was able to define things any way I wanted.
At one point, I took out a pencil and paper and began to draw. I felt like I knew exactly what to draw, yet at the same time I felt as though there were endless possibilities as to what I should draw. I have little skill with drawing, so I did not have a goal of something in particular to create. I quickly traced the visuals that I was seeing on the paper as fast as possible. What I ended up with was a series of interesting patterns scattered across the paper, but there was nothing particularly meaningful to me. I changed to writing down sentences to describe what my mind was like, which I've written with more eloquence in the preceding paragraphs. My handwriting was odd and messy, and seemed to change styles at random. The music that was on this entire time was pleasing when I focused on it, but I would frequently forget it was even playing, and I am not sure if it was affecting my mind at all during these periods.
It seemed very odd to me that a drug would have done these things to my mind. Sometimes I wondered if the psilocetin I had took had done nothing, and I had just always thought this way. It didn't seem logical to me that if I went home and took some more of the drug, my mind would become even more radically different. It was difficult to say whether psilocetin felt stimulating or sedating. At times I felt like getting up and dancing would be a lot of fun, and at times I felt too tired to even get up off the ground.
Eventually the peak began to subside, and we left the park. On our way home, day slowly turned to night and the state my mind was in began to feel more and more normal. My thoughts began to return to only spoken words, and I was able to understand concepts such as happiness and sadness. S and I walked around barefoot on a golf course and through some sand pits, which was very tactiley pleasant. We stopped at a bench at the top of a hill close to my house and smoked half a bowl, although it did little to our state of mind. We returned to my house to listen to music and watch Winamp's Milkdrop visualizer for a bit, but we were almost completely back to baseline.
About an hour later, while washing the dishes, I began to have very uncomfortable back pain, focused in my spine. During a later experience with psilocetin, I did not experience this side effect, so it is difficult to say if it was from the drug. I also had difficulty falling asleep, lying in bed for two hours before finally passing out at about 8 hours after dosing.
The next morning I woke up, unfortunately not with enough sleep to be very awake for work. I felt a bit mentally drained from the previous day as well, and my back was still bothering me. I took 100mg of 5-HTP and 5mg of oxycodone. An hour or so later and I was feeling remarkably clear-headed and only mildly tired, I think that 5-HTP is a great way to restore my mental capacities after a trip. The painkiller had little effect though, but it was quite a small dose.
In retrospect, many of these effects could come from a wide variety of psychedelic drugs, but I feel that this experience was quite unique in itself, and had a very different feeling than my previous mushroom trip. Therefore, I think it is unfair to consider psilocin and psilocetin the same drug, despite the fact that psilocetin is eventually converted to psilocin in the body. I think that there is quite a bit of potential in psilocetin, and I look forward to exploring this chemical more in the future.
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