Follow @Erowid on Instagram!
Realise I am Abusing And Don't Want To Stop
Amphetamines (Adderall)
by Harry
Citation:   Harry. "Realise I am Abusing And Don't Want To Stop: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp66130)". Erowid.org. Dec 5, 2017. erowid.org/exp/66130

 
DOSE:
30 mg oral Amphetamines (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb


First off, I will give you a small autobiography. I am a 20 year old college student. I weigh about 170 lbs and feel that I am in above average physical condition currently.

I have been consistently self-medicating myself with between 20-40 mg of XR Adderall for the past 2 weeks. I have been recreationally using adderall for the past 6 months. I should mention I have a very addictive personality prior to divulging my experiences thus for with this amphetamine.

When I take the adderrall I typically open the capsules and chew the contents. I rarely actually swallow the capsules as recommended. I feel that by doing this the rush and onset of the effects are sped up. By day 3 or 4 of consistent self medication I still feel that it helps me to concentrate, however, I lose that edgy rush that I would normally feel after not taking the amphetamine for a few days. This does not lead me to take more, however it does make me realize that I do NEED more to feel that edge that I do enjoy. These are my first indications that I am seriously abusing a drug- and I need to take a serious look at what is going on, and why.

I am a college student in a rather prestigious educational institution. The abuse of amphetamines is rampant, and often goes unchecked. A lot of people will pop a few before they begin studying for a midterm, or writing a paper. I will take them whenever I feel like it will help me get through the day- this is my problem. I realize that my reasons for taking the drug change for the worse. Iím abusing this drug because I feel as if I NEED it, and this was my first indication of abuse.

Today is only the SECOND day that I have not consumed ANY Adderall. I cannot sleep at night (not that I can sleep any better when I take the drug) and when I wake up I typically feel that I havenít really rested at all. My mind is constantly racing, and I cannot sit down or calm myself. My levels of anxiety have skyrocketed. I was late for class this morning, and the entire drive to campus was hell. I imagined everyone in class looking at me oddly when I walked in- I was worried I would be judged (even although I am a very social person, and am typically very well received by me peers) which may or may not be bordering on the lines of paranoia.

When I go to the gym to workout I feel like shit. When I get my heartrate up it is slightly reminiscent of speeding on the amphetamine. Typically, when I go to the gym sped up, I am much more focused and I drink a LOT more water. Now, I am unfocused and donít really know which set I'm on, or what to do next. Going to the gym SUCKS.

I realize that I will be depressed and feel like shit for the next few weeks as my mind levels out and returns to its natural state.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 66130
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 5, 2017Views: 1,692
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Amphetamines (6) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Problems (27), Addiction & Habituation (10), Hangover / Days After (46), Various (28)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission prior to your downloading the data.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults